Who Am I Really?

Veronica, called me from New Orleans, Louisiana. She tells her tale of insensitivity within her adoptive family, even with an adoptive mother who was an adoptee herself. Veronica struggled to conduct a search for her roots after Hurricane Katrina threw everything into upheaval in the Big Easy. When she finally found her birth mother, the woman was apathetic to their connection, turning toxic. Now, Veronica wants to find her half brother, and her paternal roots. This is Veronica’s journey.

Amy called me from Highland Township, outside of Detroit, Michigan. She described her early years dealing with the insecurities of her adopted mother who defaulted to threats to try to control Amy’s curiosity about her adoption. On her search, she learned that her biological mother had been sent away, the man on her birth certificate was not her birth father, and her birth mother’s family had some significant secrets in its history. Secrets that Amy knows, but they don’t. This is Amy’s journey.

April called me from New York, New York, but her story originated in New England. She is a transracial adoptee whose search took her to a quintessential New England town and the connection to her birth mother’s former home which put April and the woman on the phone that night. But the pain of April’s conception was too much, so the pair never connected. Now April holds out hope that one day she’ll know the man with whom she shares DNA. Until then she maintains a strong foundation in her own identity. This is April’s journey.

Michelle, from North Hollywood, California, is an Asian American, but her specific heritage is unclear, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever fully know where she comes from. There’s no information about her in the year before her adoption, only a note that says "This baby was found..." Michele describes her feelings about being adopted by Asian parents, her lack of a specific birth date, and her creative outlets that keep her going instead of searching. This is Michelle’s journey.

Amanda describes her childhood with a father she considered to be a hero and a mother whom she loves despite her physical and mental abuse while showing favoritism toward her sister. She always wanted to search for her birth parents, scouring her house for information about herself when she was a kid. Unable to endure the abuse against herself and her brother Amanda called social services, after which she was disowned. When she finally obtained her adoption records she found one birth parent was deceased, and the other didn’t want contact yet.

Read Full TranscriptAmanda: 00:02 I want him to contact me when he wants to be a part of my life. We’ll get to know me, but it still hurts because I talked to the brothers all the time and I’m like, why can’t he just pick up the phone and just call me or or even returning email. It would be wonderful to just have something. It’s just like don’t silence it. It is so, so I would just give anything to hear his voice.

Voices: 00:35 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I in mind?

Damon: 00:47 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Amanda. She called me from Mount Horeb, Wisconsin. Amanda is originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and she says, even though she lives in the country, you still can’t get the city out of her. Amanda describes a childhood with her father. She considered to be a hero into mother whom she loves despite her physical and mental abuse, while showing favoritism toward her sister. She always wanted to search for her birth parents, scouring her house for information about herself when she was a kid. When she finally obtained her records, she found one birth parent was deceased and the other not wanting contact yet. This is Amanda’s journey. Amanda was born in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, the second baby to her 23 year old birth mother, but she was placed in foster care when she was nine months old.

Amanda: 01:48 My mom actually gave me upon her own volition initially because she thought that I would be better off with someone else because she just was having a tough time with it and actually it was good that she did because apparently when they did the intake or weighed like 12 pounds, so I was severely malnourished. And so then when I went to foster care, of course, you know I bolt right up, ya know, because they were feeding me, but I remember my foster parents. Well, my foster mother, I remember her to be very loving and very attentive even though she had, I don’t even know how many other kids she had in the house, but there were quite a few. But uh, Ken and Jean Newsome were my foster parents.

Damon: 02:36 That’s interesting that you have memories of them. How long were you with them?

Amanda: 02:41 Till? I was three and a half.

New Speaker: 02:43 Oh Wow. So some of your formative years were spent with them. Were spent?

Amanda: 02:48 Yeah.

Damon: 02:49 Wow.

Amanda: