Who Am I Really?

Damon L. Davis

Adoptees telling their own stories of life in adoption, their search for their birth family, and how their reunion attempt turned out. Stories that make you laugh, cry, or simply say "wow". This podcast has two purposes: 1) To help you explore your own feelings about your adoption, accept your desire understand your own personal history, and decide for yourself whether reunification with your biological relatives is right for you. It will help you understand how others have dealt with issues related to protecting the feelings of their adopted families who may be supportive of your search, or question your motives and present challenges. 2) For non-adoptees, this podcast will help you understand some of what is in the minds of your friends, family members, or others who are adopted. Perhaps you had questions for them but you didn’t know if you should ask. The stories will make you smile or bring you to tears, but they’re all true as told by the people who lived them. In them, I hope you’ll find something that inspires you, validates your feelings about wanting to search, or motivates you to have the strength along your journey to learn “Who Am I Really?”

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Top 10 Who Am I Really? Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Who Am I Really? episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Who Am I Really? for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Who Am I Really? episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

064 – The Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

Who Am I Really?

08/08/20 • 48 min

Julie describes herself as very independent from her parents’ influences and drastically different than her older adopted brother. She tells the story of finding her birth mother thanks to open access legislation in Australia and the gentle influence of a psychic she visited for fun. When her birth mother shared that her birth father could only be one person because there were only two men in her life, it took a long time, a bit of disappointment, and some DNA investigation and luck to determine there had to be a third man. Listen as Julie tells her story of going back and forth across the globe from Los Angeles to Australia in search of answers.

Read Full TranscriptJulie: 00:02 I remember that I was in an orphanage for the first two months of my life and I’m so physically connected to my children after I had them and they me and I couldn’t imagine not having them just to respond to their every need at every moment, especially in that first couple of months and I envisioned myself in this crib with, you know, I’m sure I had wonderful care with the nurses, but he, that I bond with and who responded to my needs on demand, what happened. So that kind of haunts me almost.

Voices: 00:39 Who am I? Who am I? Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:50 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Julie. She called me from Los Angeles, but she was born and raised overseas until she was 15. She describes herself as very independent from her parents influences and drastically different than her older adopted brother. Julie tells the story of finding her birth mother. Thanks to open access legislation in Australia and the gentle influence of a psychic she visited for fun when her mother shared that her birth father could only be one person because there were only two men in her life. It took a long time, a bit of disappointment and some DNA investigation and luck to determine there had been a third man. Listen, as Julie tells her story of going back and forth across the globe. This is Julie’s journey.

Damon: 01:48 Julie was born and raised in Melbourne, Australia. Her mom is an American and when Julie was 15 years old, they moved to the US, specifically to Washington state, leaving that fun Aussie accent behind. Julie’s always known she was adopted since before she truly knew what it meant. She starts off telling the story. Her mother always shares about the day they met.

Julie: 02:09 My parents used to tell a story about the day they went shopping for me. They dropped my brother off at my, at my grandmother’s and went to the baby store and looked at all the babies in the crib and came across me and I was as wide as I was tall and I looked up and smiled at her and they decided, yeah, and truth be told. I’m sure I was the only one available to them that day. She likes to tell stories she likes to make it. Yeah. So, um, so as far as what it was like, I have a, I have mixed feelings about how to share this because it comes across sometimes as negative has been used against me in the past. Relatively normal childhood. I had two loving parents, I had a brother, I had extended family, you know, so everything was normal. I did have an overwhelming feeling that I didn’t belong and I couldn’t really express that and I didn’t know how to explain it to people around me. So it was always just kind of the itch that I had. Like why don’t I, why don’t I want to do that? Like them? Or why don’t they get that? I want to do this.

New Speaker: 03:32 Can you give me an example of what you mean?

Julie:

090 – It’s Not Your Fault, I Made It Through

Who Am I Really?

09/02/23 • 37 min

Lori was adopted after her biological mother lived with her adoptive parents, desperately trying to escape the tyranny of her abusive husband. The abuse her birth mother suffered would be a recurring theme in her own life when her mother’s drinking got worse. Lorie tells the story of growing up reminded of the privilege she lived with but wanting only to be herself, not keep up appearances for her mother. When she found her birth mother, she was able to share her own sons with their new grandmother, a woman who missed out Lori’s youth.

Read Full Transcript

Lori: 00:00 He had actually moved her from the house and moved her into like an abandoned farm hill and she said there was no electricity, no running water. Um, it was her and my oldest brother, pretty much they had no food. She was severely malnourished when she was pregnant and to the point where he would take car parts out of the car, so she couldn’t go anywhere. She was pretty much abandoned in a foreign house and had nowhere to go. She couldn’t escape for the longest time.

Voices: 00:35 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:47 This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Lori. She called me from Georgia before her move to Washington state. She was adopted after her biological mother lived with her adoptive parents, but that boarding situation was forced because of abuse, which was a recurring theme in Lori’s home, thereafter. She tells the story of growing up reminded of the privilege she lived with, but wanting only to be herself, not keep up appearances for her mother. When she found her birth mother, she was able to share her sons with the woman who had missed out on her youth years ago. This is Lori’s journey.

Damon: 01:31 When I spoke to Lori from Georgia, she was planning to move their young family west to Washington following her husband’s career in the United States army. Lori’s five month old son was in the background so you might hear him from time to time. She told me that she was born and partially raised in central California where her parents and most of their family were from. She didn’t really know too many adopted kids in her area and adoption wasn’t spoken of in her home. She said she was one of four that her parents tried to adopt. Her oldest brother is five years older than herself. Lori was adopted at birth after her parents had fertility issues and even lost a child. Their parents tried to adopt another boy, but the adoption fell through and the boy went back to his biological family. Lori shared that she had good memories of her childhood with a tight knit family and grandparents who were great people. But when she was 10 her parents tried to adopt a brother and sister who would have been two middle children between Lori and her brother. But their adoptions didn’t work out either.

Lori: 02:31 About that time when I was about 10 years old, I don’t know what necessarily happened or anything, but it was just stuff just went down hill. I know my oldest brother was kind of like a trouble maker. He, he did a lot of things kids shouldn’t do and I know he kind of reck havoc on my parents, but I don’t think it was necessarily because he was just like rebellious or anything. I just think that’s the only way he knew how to get attention and I know that took a toll on them, but they, that’s like around the time I remember they started drinking too and it was just, I dunno, it was like a big snowball effect. It just kind of went negative from that point on.

Damon:

065 – Two Years Too Late, Then I Was Shocked

Who Am I Really?

07/24/21 • 28 min

Dana received her original birth certificate and when her husband looked up her birth mother’s name they found her obituary. It took her two years to find an address for her surviving aunt and a year to find the courage to write to her. Her Aunt gave Dana a name for the man who could be her birth father, but he was also deceased. Luckily DNA testing told a different story.

Read Full TranscriptDana: 00:03 She never knew about me. She thought that she was an only child for her her entire life. So finding out that she has an older sister that came as kind of like shocks or she. So she just told me she knows she needs, she needs time sheets, she needs space and I get that. You know, it’s like, I can’t imagine going thinking that you’re an only child for like most... for your entire life. Minifying boom. You have an older sister.

Damon: 00:35 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:47 This is, who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Dana. She called me from Ohio A state we know has opened adoption records. Dana shares her story of growing up with two younger siblings, biological to her parents, but feeling equally loved by her parents. She tells the heartbreaking story of learning that she would never meet her biological mother and the near miss of a second heartbreak with her suspected biological father. Luckily, Dana was able to recover from some misinformation to learn her father’s identity. This is Dana’s journey. Dana grew up in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio. Originally, her mother didn’t think she could have children, but after Dana’s adoption, their family did expand naturally.

Dana: 01:43 My adoptive, I’m like, um, a series of miscarriages and she was told that she, she would never have a child see a child of her own to full term. So she put it in an application through the Catholic charities and they called her like on her birthday and they told her that we have this little girl here, she’s French and Serbian, we know that your husband is, would you like to come look at her? Or my parents were like, really excited. They go, of course. Yeah, we weren’t gonna come take a look at her. So they went in to the orphanage. Um, I think it was a saint John’s Children’s home in Cleveland, Ohio. And they, they took a look at me and my mom said there was kind of like love at first sight and they took me home, my mom’s birthday. So, um, every year on her birthday we celebrated like um a cake for her and then cake for me because it was, there was our, our Gotcha Day and I love it. It was never kept a secret from me. It was never hidden. My mom actually did go on to have like, um, another, uh, a baby to full term that’s my sister and also like a son of full term of adoptive brother and sister. And it was, it was pretty cool because when, um, when my mom was pregnant with my sister, they actually came up for like, um, adoption for like a second time because she wanted a sibling for me. And the social worker called her and my mom goes, I’m willing, you know, I can’t do this now I’m pregnant. And she goes, well, you know, since, I know you had such a hard time. Like I’m keeping baby to full term. We’re gonna do is. I’m going to put your, file your case down at the bottom of the file. I want you to call me when that baby’s born. And my mom did and my social worker actually came out to see me and my sister and my sister was born, so it was really, really sweet that she, that she did that and everything, you know,

Damon: 03:43 That is really sweet, wow that is so incredibly thoughtful. Boy. She’s the right person for that kind of job.

Dana:

039 – I’m An Adult, But They’re Acting Like Children

Who Am I Really?

12/21/19 • 43 min

Mitch’s parents adopted his older brother, then him. Then they got a surprise addition to the family. They had a great life outside of Chicago, but Mitch did feel somewhat sidelined by the attention paid to his youngest sibling. He learned as a teen that not everyone in his family was supportive of adoptions, and his attempts at reunion have been a frustrating set of rejections.

The post 039 – I’m An Adult, But They’re Acting Like Children appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Mitch (00:03):

And I pulled up my shirt and I pointed to my belly button and I said, I don't know who this was attached to you do. You can look at yours and you know exactly who yours was attached to. I have never, in 45 years been in the same room as the woman that mine was attached to. I don't know who she is.

Damon (00:27):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Mitch who spoke with me from Chicago. He grew up in a rural area outside of the city, which can be great for a kid to be outdoors, but tough. When you're trying to make friends with the neighbors. Mitch grew up feeling like his adoption was just fine, but soon he realized that not everyone in his family truly believed that throughout his life he's been reminded of his position as an adoptee, from painful visits to the doctor's office, with his wife to hurtful comments by family members. Mitch has struggled to make connections with his biological family. And ultimately he just wishes people could own up to the past and face the present because he is here because of them. This is Mitch's journey, Mitch's parents adopted his older brother and they already knew that they would adopt again. So they made the arrangements. When they brought Mitch home, they didn't realize they were already adding a third baby to their family

Mitch (01:44):

as happened, um, with women who have had such difficulties that once in the act of parenting, it seems to help regulate whichever hormones were out of whack and causing the miscarriages. And so when they brought me home, I don't think they quite realize that my mom was pregnant. Um, I have a younger sister who was their biological child who has eight months younger than I am. Wow. So it was like the Irish twins. You know, my mom has joked about how people would give her just the dirtiest looks. And I'm like, what do you mean the dirtiest? Cause you had two kids. And she said, no, because you could tell that they weren't twins because they were obviously different sizes. And it was a look like you just couldn't keep your knees together for two minutes.

Damon (02:32):

she was being judged.

Mitch (02:34):

Oh wow. Yeah, there was a little bit of that.

Damon (02:37):

The family moved out to what was at the time, a rural part of Illinois. He grew up on a huge plot of acres of land, which is a great environment for exploration, but lonely. When it comes to having friends your age,

Mitch (02:50):

I grew up on five acres with hundreds of trees and a pond. Um, it was absolutely bucolic and we had horses and motorcycles and snowmobiles and you know, you walk outside and...

105 – I Call Her Incubator

Who Am I Really?

09/09/23 • 46 min

My guest asked that I maintain her anonymity, so I’ll refer to her as Nina. She shared her story growing up with dedicated parents who embraced her challenges and gave her the foundational support she needed. Her birth father found her through a reunification registry and while he has his own struggles, he’s a very dear friend to Nina. However, her birth mother started down the path of secondary rejection, won’t take responsibility for not getting Nina pre-natal care, and is overzealous with her dedication to her religion, driving a wedge between Nina and the woman. This is Nina’s journey.

The post 105 – I Call Her Incubator appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Nina (00:03):

You know, my relationship with my birth mother is nonexistent anymore. I kind of hate calling her birth mother. I usually call her incubator because, you know, she did, that's all she did for me. That's all she's ever done for me.

Damon (00:22):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:34):

This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And my guest today asked that I maintain her anonymity. So I'll refer to her as Nina. She shared her story growing up with dedicated parents who embraced her challenges and gave her the foundational support. She needed. Her birth father found her through a reunification registry. And while he has his own struggles, he's a very dear friend to Nina. However, her birth mother started down the path of secondary rejection. Won't take responsibility for not getting Nina prenatal care and is overzealous with her dedication to her religion. All of which has driven a wedge between Nina and the woman. This is Nina's journey life for Nina was idyllic as an adoptee. She was told she was adopted and her adopted parents never kept it. A secret. Nina told me she still has a Sesame street book called Susan and Gordon adopt a baby in which big bird asks the couple questions about adoption and what it means. She likened her life to the book because she would ask questions. They would be answered and life would go on. Everything was just fine until Nina was 12 years old,

Nina (01:57):

But I know that they did start taking me to the therapist after a bit, because I started to having these nightmares that, um, I was being abducted by my birth parents in, um, in a white van. And, uh, you know, one of those, uh, one of those creepy white vans we all talk about. So, you know, the windowless white van came and took me. So, um, I don't where that trope came into my mind at eight years old, but it did everything. Everything was completely idyllic until my adoptive father died. Um, when I was 12, suddenly from a heart attack

Damon (02:38):

Quickly, before you get to the, to your father, did the, did the therapy help?

Nina (02:45):

Um, you know, the therapy was quite interesting because it did help. I still maintain that therapist, even though she's a child therapist, you know, if I'm in, if I'm in town, I will still go and see her. Um, so because there is such a long relationship there that she really does understand me. I think she, she was most fascinated by the fact that, you know, I had forecasted my dad's death when I was like eight. Well, she did those picture things. And she said, you know, tell me, tell me something. And she's drawing pictures that she had little, you ...

045 – This Child Will Find Me

Who Am I Really?

02/24/18 • 48 min

Michael says he always knew he was adopted and spoke openly about it with anyone who expressed curiosity. However, when he launched his search, he didn’t feel like he could share those details openly with his adopted mother. When he found his birth mother, she told Michael she always knew he would find her. To continue his search for his birth father, she encouraged Michael to connect with his half-brother by another woman but forewarned Michael that his birth father didn’t know of his existence. But it turned out there was a lot more Michael’s father didn’t know... about himself.

The post 045 – This Child Will Find Me appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Michael (00:05):

She said before her mother passed away, she was saying, you should really find your, your, your sons. And I think she might've been looking on her own before she died, because her DNAs on 23 and me, and it's my number one hit.

Damon (00:27):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Michael. He's a theater teacher in New Jersey. He says he always knew he was adopted and spoke openly about it with anyone who expressed curiosity. But when he launched his search, he didn't feel like he could share those details openly with his adopted mother, when he found his birth mother, she told Michael, she always knew he would find her to continue his search for his birth father. She encouraged Michael to connect with his half brother by another woman. But for warned Michael, that his birth father didn't know of his existence, it turned out there was a lot more that Michael's father didn't know about himself. This is Michael's journey. Michael grew up with three siblings, one adopted sister, three years older than himself and twin siblings born to his parents, whom they brought home from the hospital exactly two years to the day after they brought him home. Michael was so comfortable with how his family was formed. He openly shared that he's an adoptee with everyone. When he eventually found his birth parents, he went back to his adopted mother to ask when she actually told him he was adopted.

Michael (01:59):

People always ask me, when did you know, you know, how old were you when you found out you were adopted? And I, I don't remember being told that I was adopted. I, I just have always known. Um, and when I've spoken to, when this whole thing happened with my birth parents and I spoke to my adopted mother and I asked her, I said, when did you tell me? Cause I don't remember. I don't remember. And she said that they were taught, you know, through the adoption agency, you know, they, they were advised by them to tell, to tell me, as, as young, as even in the crib telling, you know, you're loved and you're, you're, you know, you you're special and all this stuff. And so I guess it just was always known to me, uh, and growing up, you know, I was very open about it.

Michael (02:48):

I, I, I guess, cause it, cause I'm an actor. I really don't have, I wasn't shy as a kid. Let's just say, so I would, I'd be with my, my brother, you know, in a playground and people would say, are, you know, are you, are you two brothers? And I'd say, yeah. And they say, how come you don't look anything alike? And I'd say I’m adopted. And I'm like seven years old, you know? And my mother would say, you don't have to tell people that. I said, well, why, you know? So it was just second nature to me.

Damon (03:16):

Yeah. You told me why wouldn't I tell other people?

Michael (

013 – It Wasn’t That He Didn’t Care, He Cared Too Much

Who Am I Really?

07/10/21 • 35 min

Jennifer learned that she was adopted when she was six years old. Interestingly, her adopted parents shared a letter with her that was written by her biological mother whose instructions were that Jennifer should have it when they felt she was ready. In fact, her parents had an entire package of detailed information about her adoption which satisfied some her curiosities and sparked new ones that she wanted answers to. Thanks to some clever sleuthing her biological mother was very easy to locate. Jennifer’s adopted father had calculated who her mother likely was and pinpointed where she probably lived based on some of the information they already had. But what began as a warm introduction turned cold when Jennifer was forced to repeatedly ask her biological mother for identifying information about her biological father. When she finally learned who he was, and traced his family to their home in Florida, she learned that her deepest connection on this journey was with the father she never knew.

The post 013 – It Wasn’t That He Didn’t Care, He Cared Too Much appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Jen (00:01):

Basically every question that I had ever had was, you know like did they want me? Do they care about me? There was no doubt that I had been lied to and my entire world suddenly flipped because my mother who had told me that that they didn't want me, they wanted nothing to do with me and all this other kind of stuff was now a lie.

Voices (00:27):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:39):

This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and today I spoke with Jen. She's a Marylander just like me and in her journey she learned that her biological family lived just one County away from her growing up. She's a rare case for adoptees because she was given a really comprehensive package of information about her adoption, including a letter written to her from her birth mother. Her biological mother was very easy to find and connect with thanks to her adoptive father's ability to calculate and pinpoint some of Jen's family based on the information they already had. But what began as a warm introduction turned cold when Jen persistently asked her biological mother for identifying information about her biological father. Here's Jen's journey.

Damon (01:41):

Jennifer says she had a pretty typical middleclass upbringing, three kids and a dog. And the topic of adoption was always open for discussion at their house.

Jen (01:49):

I was adopted at two months old and was the first in the adoptive parents family. They had tried for 10 years to have a child and just couldn't. So they went through Catholic charities and you know, ended up with me and when I was about 22 months old, they adopted two twin boys. So there was none of that conflict of biological mixed with adoption or anything like that. It was just strictly all adoption. So I had younger twin brothers, which was definitely an experience in growing up because it was always them against me, which I guess could be at any situation, whether you're adopted or biological. So in that aspect, you know, it was pretty normal family. My adoptive parents were really good about, you know, not treating us any different, but you know, even still I always kind of felt like the odd duck out. I was six was when I was told. And at that point, you know, six years old when you're told something this big, it's not something you'd kind of keep quiet about. It's something you've got to be prepared to, you know, rain with talking about it. And so I would allow to ask questions whenever I wanted ...

006 – I Forgave Her When My Son Was Born

Who Am I Really?

04/29/17 • 44 min

In adoption, Julie grew up in the Midwest with a family of trans racial adoptees. Her brothers are adopted from Vietnam, and her sister is white. Each of them has a different perspective on searching for their biological families. Julie has always been curious. She told me that in the moments after her son was born and he was placed in her arms, she could forgive her biological mother, and release the anger she previously felt about her rejection. In that moment, she clearly understood the everlasting bond of a mother to her child.

The post 006 – I Forgave Her When My Son Was Born appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Julie (00:00):

Yeah. When I had my son, like the moment I gave birth to him, I will say like the second he was placed in my arm and my first thought was at my birth mom and I just, I, I let go of all the anger.

Voices (00:21):

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon (00:32):

This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and in this show. I had the great pleasure of catching up with my old friend Julie. We met over 10 years ago and as it often happens with me, we bonded over being adoptees, but she was already seeking her biological family and had been at it for a long time when we met. When we first knew one another, she had located her family of origin and her social worker had been in touch with them, but for some reason they had not actually made the connection. Julie moved away so I never got to hear what happened next for her. I've wondered about Julie for years. So today she finally satisfied my curiosity.

Damon (01:17):

Thank you so much for taking time to join me for this. I have been so excited to talk to you for like years. Honestly. I mean, you'll recall you and I first met back. What was that?

Julie (01:29):

2003. Yep.

Damon (01:29):

We bonded over being adoptees. I recall one of the conversations that we had around the fact that you had begun to search for your biological family. So I'm really excited to hear the update because I, I've honestly, I've thought about you off and on for years wondering how your story unfolded. So I, I can't wait to get to the end, but for right now, what I'd love for you to do is just take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about, you know, how you grew up, where you grew up, what your family structure was like, and just generally how it was being an adoptee in your family.

Julie (02:07):

Sure. So I was born in Chicago and, and immediately placed into foster care because my birth mom knew that she wasn't going to keep me. And I'll give you some backstory and a little bit of on that side of the family. But in my, um, in my adoptive family, which I typically just refer to as my family, um, I'm the fourth, I'm the youngest, I'm the baby and I'm the fourth child and all four of the kids in my family are adopted. And so my oldest sister is white. And then my brother, my next oldest brother is, uh, black and Vietnamese. And then I have a brother who's Vietnamese and probably something else. Um, we're not entirely sure. Both of them were, uh, both of them were, were they, I mean ...

003 – When the Search Finds You

Who Am I Really?

04/08/17 • 26 min

Kathleen grew up with five siblings, and they were all biologically related to her parents–she was the only adoptee! As a child she was told that she was adopted, but it didn’t quite sink in until the topic of adoption came up in conversation and her mother reminded her, “you’re adopted too.” But what blew my mind was how the search for her first family wasn’t originated by her, her family found her and knew exactly where to look

The post 003 – When the Search Finds You appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.

Kathleen: 00:00 You meet people your whole life. You meet friends, you meet new family members, people are born, people die, but meeting someone who is your actual biological parent after you're already, you know, at this point I was 18 years old is a very, very strange thing.

Voices: 00:19 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Damon: 00:30 This is "Who Am I, Really" a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon on today's show. I'm joined by Kathleen. Her journey as an adoptee is amazing because while she wanted to search for her family of origin, the search actually came to her at a very young age. You're not going to believe how Kathleen's story unfolded and you'll hear just how fortunate she feels for how things turned out.

Damon: 01:09 I appreciate you taking time to do the show. Take me back to the beginning. I know you and I talked a little bit before, but take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about your background, about growing up, where you were and what your community was like, what your family was like and your, your family structure.

Kathleen: 01:26 Okay. So I was raised mostly in Racine, Wisconsin, and I was the youngest of six children. Uh, it was a big Irish Catholic family and I was the only of the six to be adopted actually.

Damon: 01:40 Wow. So you had five biologicals and you were the sole adoptee.

Kathleen: 01:45 Right, exactly.

Damon: 01:47 So how was it?

Kathleen: 01:47 I was raised in a very, you know, culturally Irish family I would say. And what I always thought, looking back, what was so interesting about is the fact that I never, until I really knew that I was adopted, recognized the difference in our appearance, which to me today is very obvious. I mean, I, I have darker skin and darker complexion and they all look very, very Irish and have the, you know, the reddish hair and the freckles and green eyes. And I didn't have that at all. And when I was growing up, I just didn't notice it, which really says a lot about what children do and do not see as they're, as they're young.

Damon: 02:21 Absolutely. Y...

071 – I Would Give Anything To Hear His Voice

Who Am I Really?

10/20/18 • 46 min

Amanda describes her childhood with a father she considered to be a hero and a mother whom she loves despite her physical and mental abuse while showing favoritism toward her sister. She always wanted to search for her birth parents, scouring her house for information about herself when she was a kid. Unable to endure the abuse against herself and her brother Amanda called social services, after which she was disowned. When she finally obtained her adoption records she found one birth parent was deceased, and the other didn’t want contact yet.

Read Full TranscriptAmanda: 00:02 I want him to contact me when he wants to be a part of my life. We’ll get to know me, but it still hurts because I talked to the brothers all the time and I’m like, why can’t he just pick up the phone and just call me or or even returning email. It would be wonderful to just have something. It’s just like don’t silence it. It is so, so I would just give anything to hear his voice.

Voices: 00:35 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I in mind?

Damon: 00:47 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Amanda. She called me from Mount Horeb, Wisconsin. Amanda is originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and she says, even though she lives in the country, you still can’t get the city out of her. Amanda describes a childhood with her father. She considered to be a hero into mother whom she loves despite her physical and mental abuse, while showing favoritism toward her sister. She always wanted to search for her birth parents, scouring her house for information about herself when she was a kid. When she finally obtained her records, she found one birth parent was deceased and the other not wanting contact yet. This is Amanda’s journey. Amanda was born in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, the second baby to her 23 year old birth mother, but she was placed in foster care when she was nine months old.

Amanda: 01:48 My mom actually gave me upon her own volition initially because she thought that I would be better off with someone else because she just was having a tough time with it and actually it was good that she did because apparently when they did the intake or weighed like 12 pounds, so I was severely malnourished. And so then when I went to foster care, of course, you know I bolt right up, ya know, because they were feeding me, but I remember my foster parents. Well, my foster mother, I remember her to be very loving and very attentive even though she had, I don’t even know how many other kids she had in the house, but there were quite a few. But uh, Ken and Jean Newsome were my foster parents.

Damon: 02:36 That’s interesting that you have memories of them. How long were you with them?

Amanda: 02:41 Till? I was three and a half.

New Speaker: 02:43 Oh Wow. So some of your formative years were spent with them. Were spent?

Amanda: 02:48 Yeah.

Damon: 02:49 Wow.

Amanda:

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