Fuck Me. Feed Me. Pay Me.

Hey Everybody!! After taking my own advice, I may have found a way out of what has felt like a soul-sucking tar pit of depression and indifference AND I am finally ready to open up about the sordid and sentimental details of my time as a ‘fancy girlfriend’ here in New York City.

Hope you’re doing okay and allowing yourself to mentally and emotionally shut it down for at least 10 minutes a day. Trust me, you can meditate all the way to Zen and you will still wake up in the middle of a global pandemic and economic upheaval.

Love you all so much.

It’s sucks right now, but it’s gonna keep changing and we gotta hang in until we can turn it around.

***SoCiAL mEdiA***

Twitter: @wendistarling

Instagram: @wendibird82

***SEE THIS BITCH LIVE***

... in AMERICA!!

Wednesday, July 29th 8pm ET on Zoom

...in UK & EUROPE!!

Thursday, July 30th 8pm BST on Zoom

...in AUSTRALIA & NEW ZEALAND!!

Saturday, August 1st 7pm AEST/ 9pm NZST

Reserve tickets at: [email protected]

“Funny Pains” available NOW on Amazon Prime, Google Play, Fandango Now and Vimeo: funnypains.com