#45- A Hart of Gold

Alice & Yvette are joined by multi award winning veteran pornstar and cat lover, Lance Hart (@lancehartfetish). The MFF this week discuss sweets, cross over performers, industry testing, how he almost accidentally died on set, and dick injections. Don't forget to leave us a review!

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Unknown Speaker 0:02 We're committed to your pleasure here at the porn cast and that means we won't promote anything that isn't Alice tested any better approved and this one is definitely tested several times over. Yeah, there was suction and fluffing and thermometers and the tea bags. You mean teabagging? No, I got something in my eye and use teabags to get the swelling to go down. What did you get in your eye? My husband's calls it It took a fucking village, a literal fucking village and well worth it because thanks to clone Willie, we've now cloned body parts on ourselves and willing volunteers and we can even make them buzz. No policies or cops were harmed in the making of this partnership we live in amazing times. Now where can our listeners check this out Alice to clone it and bowknot go to Kelowna Willie calm and type in promo code tg o m 20 to get 20% off your first purchase.

Unknown Speaker 1:01 This is two girls one mic the show that talks about the holes and plot holes of your favorite porn.

Alice Vaughn 1:09 Welcome to Two girls one Mike where we couldn't afford getting sponsored by I can't believe it's not butter, but we did get Fuck off. It's not Manet's. I'm your co host Alice Vaughn. And with me I have my fantastic co host you've had Don trauma David, how you doing today? I'm confused about where I'm supposed to put the mayonnaise. Is this an anal lube is this is this part of foreplay, I'm, I'm perturbed about why couldn't we get I can't believe it's not but why not butter? Why not just go straight for lard or coconut oil? No, no, I mean, it's kind of like when I get yogurt out of fridge and I hope these aren't Hornets or you know, I get the off brand version where it's like, oh fuck my ass, but that's good. peanut brittle. You know what you pick up at Trader Joe's right now I'm picturing eating peanut brittle off of a pussy but it's kind have like you know those little candies? You got off like the little button candies off of paper. It'd be like that like it's like a preset appetizer. Can I be honest? I never ate any of those candies. You know what you're not missing out. It's little dots of idiocy that just looked cute. This was not a good candy. We had some bad candies, kids, but they looked adorable enough to eat and I think that's what matters. Yeah, we were tricked into that one. We were tricked into wanting it. We were tricked into telling our parents to buy it and then we sat there going, this is fun. And while we ate paper, we ate sugar. We colored sugar i'd paper and we enjoyed it. So you kids with your iPhones and your better candy than us. You know what, fuck it. We got to run around outside and not have our childhoods on social media. So it was pretty cool. That's the one good thing where you know, we can't be held back from college because of our social media. You know, I'm just saying but we lived in fear of our quote, permanent record. So yeah, like there's shit that I just didn't do because I'm pretty sure that I was Like no matter what you said did something someone was going to find out like so I think that just kept me from not doing bad milk too much bad shit. I mean, the internet is definitely a permanent record nowadays, but I kind of want to go back to a candy jewelry. I mean, now I'm thinking about candy panties and the ones with hard candy. For who's the Woodchuck? Hmm, who can tear through those with their teeth? Not any dentist, whose dentures are possible most Chuck awful balls. That's Yeah, that's that's some inappropriate shit right there. That's not okay. I don't feel good about that. I'm going to need more therapy for that one. Sorry. It's just

Unknown Speaker 3:41 a blank childhood.

Yvette d'Entremont 3:43 Look, my childhood ruined my childhood. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 3:47 I do what I do. Well, you know, there's someone else we could ask for their opinion. And that is we're having an MFF today. I'm so excited. I think we need more of these in our life. I agree. And we're not only having it with Any ATM we're having a fantastic today. Oh, with Lance Hart. Oh, Lance, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. You just came from work. So thank you so much.

Lance Hart 4:11 Well, I was just downstairs in order didn't have to commute. So they're actually still the people that are paid to fuck each other today. They're still in my kitchen eating candy. Speaking of candy, we had

Yvette d'Entremont 4:22 to pay people to...