Secret Lives and Tragic Consequences

12/05/23 • 25 min

Content warning: In this episode, we discuss suicide, online harassment, and death threats.

Today we share two unsettling stories with the common themes of living secret lives and doing things that others would be shocked to discover.

You'll hear about the tragic story of Alabama Pastor and Mayor, Fred 'Bubba' Copeland, who, forced to live his life in the closet, used private social media accounts to present himself as a transgender woman and encourage transgender people to come out and go on hormone replacement therapy. After his secret life was exposed by a conservative news website and he was subsequently subjected to relentless online bullying, he took his life. We discuss the complex issues involved in cases like this and the ways that pressure to suppress one’s identity can lead to dire outcomes.

You'll also hear about a story published in the San Francisco Chronicle, in which a financially successful and apparently mentally stable man made several death threats to an operator from a Mental Health Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth in California. The name and address of this man, who lives in San Francisco, have been identified, but he will not likely face any consequences due to his power and wealth.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Pastor Fred 'Bubba' Copeland's tragic story (1:30)
The effects of being forced to live a life in the closet (13:20)
Online harassment shouldn't remain unpunished (16:00)
People who spread hate online and showcase a "normal" life on a different platform (17:00)

Resources Mentioned:

Hotline for California's LGBTQ kids got a death threat.

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Content warning: In this episode, we discuss suicide, online harassment, and death threats.

Today we share two unsettling stories with the common themes of living secret lives and doing things that others would be shocked to discover.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Pastor Fred 'Bubba' Copeland's tragic story (1:30)
The effects of being forced to live a life in the closet (13:20)
Online harassment shouldn't remain unpunished (16:00)
People who spread hate online and showcase a "normal" life on a different platform (17:00)

Resources Mentioned:

Hotline for California's LGBTQ kids got a death threat.

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

Nonbinary Identities, Top Surgery, Coaching, and Joy With Dr. Erin Baker

"Joy is not just an emotion; it's a deep alignment with the self. And those of us who are in the LGBTQ+ community know better than most communities about what it really feels like to wake up with joy at your core because who you are is aligned." - Dr. Erin Baker.

In today's episode, we are joined by the amazing Dr. Erin Baker, Executive Coach, Elite Certified Neurotransformational Coach, Internal Family Systems L2 Practitioner, and Self-Leadership Expert. Erin earned a PhD in Social Psychology and is the Bestselling Author of "Joy-Full AF: The Essential Business Strategy We're Afraid to Put First." They led a UX Research team at Facebook, were part of bringing Facebook Stories to 2 billion people, and were the Director of UX Research and Design at Microsoft Yammer.

Throughout this episode, a true testament to the uniqueness of everyone's gender experience, Erin discusses the process of coming to terms with their nonbinary gender identity throughout adolescence and early adulthood. They also share some of the challenges they faced, especially at the beginning. And we learned a lot thanks to Erin's openness about their top surgery, which led to a greater feeling of alignment with their gender. It was also interesting to hear about Erin’s experiences as a nonbinary person working for tech giants.

Additionally, Erin talks about their book, the multiple benefits of pursuing joy, Self-Leadership Coaching, Internal Family Systems, and much more.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

About Dr. Erin's coming out story (6:40)

Erin shares a bit about their experience with they/them pronouns and being misgendered (11:00)

The retreat in Mexico that changed everything for Erin (18:10)

Erin shares their thoughts on top surgery (24:00)

What is Self-Leadership? Erin shares their perspectives on it (39:00)

Pursue joy and success will follow (45:50)

Resources Mentioned:

Book: Dr. Erin Baker - Joy-Full AF: The Essential Business Strategy We're Afraid To Put First

Book: Richard Schwartz, Alanis Morissette - No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model

Connect with Dr. Erin:

Website

Instagram

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on Vimeo

Transgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive content

Transgender School on Medium

Instagram

Website

Facebook

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Next Episode

What to Do When Your Kid Comes Out as Transgender

Though right-wing talking heads try to manipulate suicide rate statistics, the data proves that the number one cause of self-harm and destructive behavior in the LGBTQ+ community is a lack of family acceptance. Kids who come out as transgender are not confused, are not in a phase, are not following a fad, and are not trying to rebel against their parents. From conversion efforts to more subtle forms of non-affirming communication, there is no question that the damage done can be significant and can often be avoided with a little education and effort. LGBTQ+ kids need and deserve our respect, support, and love.

In this episode, we talk about what to do and say, as well as what not to do and say when your child (or any child) trusts you enough to come out as transgender, at any age. You'll hear about the critical importance of family and community acceptance, statistics that show how destructive the lack of support can be for transgender youth, and how some of the most well-intended questions can cause deep wounds for trans kids.

We also discuss the mistakes Bridget made when Jackie came out and the challenges they faced. We learn ways to support transgender kids, support and respect their privacy, the ways to ensure affirming care for them, and much more.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

About how Jackie's story began six and a half years ago (3:30)
What statistics teach us about self-harm and destructive behaviors in the LGBTQ+ community (6:00)
Why family acceptance is crucial (11:00)
Being trans is definitely not a phase or a way of being rebellious (17:00)
Jackie shares tips and ideas to grant affirming care for trans kids (24:00)
What do our trans kids really need from us (28:00)

Resources:

Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.