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Thorn In The U.S.A.
A Group of Concerned Citizens!
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Top 10 Thorn In The U.S.A. Episodes
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JOHN LEGEND, BARBRA STREISAND & LEE GREENWOOD
Thorn In The U.S.A.
10/14/22 • 16 min
Stand back and stand-bye, Blessed Fathers and Mothers of the Pious Proud Oath-Keeper Boys!!! Shite is starting to get REAL!
On this episode Midge dons her patent-pending CONE OF THE FAITHFUL® to share highly sensitive, exclusive insights into the Pro-Democracy Democrats’ election manipulation strategies for November. Then she will share what is necessary to take control of halls in congress, with or without zip-ties and pipe bombs this time. AND, Lady Lindsey compares Hitler to Trumpie.
YOU TOO CAN HAVE YOUR OWN *LIBTARD* NAME!
1) First Name: Your Favorite Spice
2) Middle Name: Your Actual Middle Name
3) Last Name: Listen to the episode, to find out! 😊
Share your new libtard name with Midge... AKA “Cinnamon Penelop Fuzz,” on her new burner email, thornintheusapodcast@gmail.com
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: White Lives Matters Kanye West and Candace Owens, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Donald J Trump, White Christian Nationalists, Lady Lindsey Graham (a contemptable twat), j-6 Patriots, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Scott Baio, Kevin Sorbo, Dean Cain, Kirk Cameron, Kid Rock, Lee Greenwood, The Gipper, Ronald Reagan, the ORIGINAL Moses, Charlton Heston, Newt Gingrich, The Pillow Guy, Judge Cannon
Special thanks to our LIBTARD Sponsors Beth Lapides and the Uncabaret!
If you’re in the greater Los Angeles area on Friday, October 28th DO NOT miss a belly laugh at Hollywood’s longest running comedy show, The UnCabaret. Featuring some of the biggest names and most original and revolutionary comedy minds that the Libtards can pull outta rehab. The UnCabaret live and in person, hosted by the inimitable Beth Lapides 7:pm, Friday October 28th at the legendary El Cid on Sunset Boulevard. Tell ‘em, Penelope sent ya.
If you enjoyed this episode, and even if you didn’t – three weeks til Go Time. Get out the VOTE. Tell a friend.

MAGA’s & MANIFESTING DREW BARRYMORE
Thorn In The U.S.A.
10/07/22 • 17 min
On this most critical episode, Midge gets on her podcast soapbox, and exposes the definitive reason that all Libtards are all motherf@ckers and they hate God!
Midge is not unlike other highly successful podcasters like, Brene Brown and Glennon Doyle and now Drew Barrymore, if they actually LOVED God, and weren’t a buncha goddamn heathens. The arc of the moral universe is long , Drew Barrymore, but it bends towards, a whole lotta things!
And, we answer this most pressing question, if the Apostle James, son of Zebedee, actually wrote the constitution, are we NOT a Christian nation after all? And, can we all agree that Ronna McDaniel (nee Romney), the Boss-Girl of the Republican National Committee is representing the Christian Nationalists movement so good, even if she is a Goddamn Mormon.
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Mitch McConnell, State Senator Doug Mastriano, Tim Michels, rocket scientist, absentee Poppa (3 times over), Hershel Walker, Michelle “crazy eyes” Bachmann, Pat Robertson, J-6 X-con, Dr. Simone Gold, David Duke, Tucker Carlson, Mike Pence, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Donald Trump
If you enjoyed this episode, and even if you didn’t – four weeks til “Go Time.” Get out the VOTE. Tell a friend.

Disappearing MAGA’s & Trumpie’s Toadstool
Thorn In The U.S.A.
09/30/22 • 16 min
During this, the longest summer in the history of the world, we await the denouement of this great American experiment in Democracy. Also, on this episode, we answer the VERY impordant question, who the eff shot JR, anyway? JR Ewing, by-the-by, suffered from “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” an incurable disease articulated in the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Our host has it on good authority that the DSM IV was secretly authored by Kelly Ann Conway’s soon to be former x- husband, George Conway. George also diagnosed Trumpie with the same disease, years ago! Can you believe it?
Also covered in this episode, Trumpie’s abnormal chode and “yeti pubes,” per the author of that incredible piece of American literature, “Full Disclosure,” Stormy Daniels. And, FUPA’s and gunts. (we blame @JoJoFromJerz for the FUPA reference!)
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Jim Jordan, Madison Cawthorn, Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, Donald J. Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, MAGA’s (in general), GOP, Kevin McCarthy,
THORN IN THE USA is brought to you by a group of bleeding-heart liberal scoundrels who can see that the former king is totally naked, but cannot understand why people like Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, and house minority leader Kevin McCarthy continue to INSIST he’s is fully clothed and decent. If you enjoyed this episode, please send your support behind Marcus Flowersfor Congress in the great state of Georgia!
Engineering and Sound Design by the infinitely talented @DJBrianVasquez
PodArt by the ENDLESSLY talented Jennifer Dahbura

Gaslighting the U.S. for Fun & Profit pt 1
Thorn In The U.S.A.
09/23/22 • 18 min
ALT TITLE: Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi , Bobby Kennedy & Ashley Babbitt
BREAKING Ted Cruz News!!
This Just In: Ted Cruz is a dangerous putz!! And so is Lindsey Graham! All evidence points to the fact that he and The Former Guy are gaslighting the country and eagerly anticipating “riots in the streets,” from those white supremacist social justice warriors, the Oath Keepers, the Proud Boys and the Pillow Guy.
Also, Lady Lindsey is riling up the lady Demwits, with his bill to label them incompetent and unable to make big-girl decisions, all by themselves. Who wouldn’t want to vote for such an awesomely titled piece of legislation, “Protecting Pain-Capable Unborn Children from Late-Term Abortions Act?”
Shout out to “Captain Obvious,” on the Twitter @TheFungi699 for his awesome gaslighting joke we stole from him!
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Elmer Stewart Rhodes the Third, of Granbury Texas, Mike Flynn, & the worst of all, Twatty Carlson.
If you enjoyed our show, please consider putting your support behind Marcus Flowers, an army veteran running to unseat Marjorie Taylor Green in Georgia.
Engineering and Sound Design by the infinitely talented @DJBrianVasquez
PodArt by the ENDLESSLY talented Jennifer Dahbura

Superstitions & GOP Monsters
Thorn In The U.S.A.
09/16/22 • 14 min
Take it from Satan, himself, you play with fire, you get burned!
Superstitions are for heathens and questionables! But, choosing to air her THIRTEENTH episode, was a BIG mistake for Midge! Find out why.
Also, we dig deep on the Mir-A-Lago raid by the “radical-left scoundrels,” and provide a detailed timeline of how it all went down. HINT: it was really, all just a silly storage issue, per lil’ Marco Rubio’s opinion... in which international nuclear secrets were not managed properly. Big effen whooptidoo!
Also, for the record, Tucker Carlson makes even the douchiest douchebags look respectable.
Also, too, POTUS #45 is the most innocent person in the history of forever... according to that paragon of goodness, Sebastian Gorka!
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Donald J. Trump, Melania Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, little Marco Rubio, Scott Baio, Chuck Woolery, Amy Coney Barret, Mar-A-Lago, Jared Kushner, Lindsey Graham, Sebastian Gorka, and the worst of them all, Tucker Carlson
If you enjoyed our show, please consider putting your support behind Marcus Flowers, an army veteran running to unseat Marjorie Taylor Green in Georgia.
Engineering and Sound Design by the infinitely talented @DJBrianVasquez
PodArt by the ENDLESSLY talented Jennifer Dahbura

A Midterms Abortion
Thorn In The U.S.A.
09/09/22 • 16 min
“Vice” President “Diaper Joe” thinks there’s a LOT at stake in the November Midterms. No SHIT Sleepy Joe! ABORTION ACCESS IS ON THE BALLOT, FFS! No exceptions for rape, incest, the life of the mother, and/or the acknowledgement that women are full-fledged human beings who ought to have domain over their own bodies!
Also, what’s with all the mean talk about the MAGA’s and Christian Nationalists, anyhew? According to Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, MAGA’s are the party of peace and Christian Nationalist values! In other words, the GOP is the party of Trump, and Trump is the party of the GOP! No dif, whatsoever!
FWIW to the MAGA’s: You piss of a gaggle of pussies, and all hell breaks loose!!! VOTE IN NOVEMBER! (Wait until you hear our exclusive footage of MILLIONS of POWERFUL women surfing that might BLUE WAVE!!!)
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: the Federalist Society, Amy Coney Barrett, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Brett Kavanaugh, Adolph Hitler, Nazi’s, the Klan, Lauren Boebert and THE ALWAYS SUPER-ICKY Tucker Carlson!
Special SHOUT-OUT to Midge’s #1 fan on the @ApplePodcasts ~ Abdullah Greenwood and Donald Jesus Trump.
THORN IN THE USA is brought to you by a group of concerned citizens, who love this country. Abortion access is on the ballot this coming November. Please support The Abortion Access Front, and their good works to protect women’s sovereignty.
Engineering and Sound Design by the infinitely talented @DJBrianVasquez
PodArt by the ENDLESSLY talented Jennifer Dahbura, https://www.instagram.com/jennidahbura/

Where WOKE goes to DIE!
Thorn In The U.S.A.
09/02/22 • 14 min
According to Ron DeSantis, governor of the great state of DON’T SAY GAY, “Florida is where woke goes to die.” That is the first verifiably true thing ol’ Ron has uttered since coming to office. Woke is dying an ugly death in Florida. Freedom of choice is dead there. Freedom to reason is grasping its final breath. Freedom of religion is dead there, unless you’re a CHRISTIAN NATIONALIST, of COURSE!
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Ron DeSantis, Donald J. Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Bobo Boebert, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Donald Trump Junior, Eric Trump (the extra dumb one), Elise Stefanik, and the worst human on the planet, next only to DJT, Tucker Carlson!
THORN IN THE USA is brought to you by a group of concerned citizens, who love this country, but are deeply concerned at the prospects of a DeSantis presidency... If you agree and enjoyed this episode, please consider donating to the campaign to elect Charlie Crist as governor of the great state of Florida!

The SCOURGE of Christian Nationalism (Part 2)
Thorn In The U.S.A.
08/26/22 • 20 min
Part dos of our two episode SPECIAL! Who would of thunk that members of the modern-day U.S. Congress would proudly embrace the moniker, Christian Nationalist? But, alas, they do. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Bobo Boebert are the face of White Christian Nationalism, and the heart and the very SOUL of the GOP!
And, for the FIRST TIME EVER, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, we break out special new podcast technology called “The Cone of the Faithful.” When our host, Midge Penelope, dons the cone – only born-again Christians can hear her... and Satan too.
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Marjorie Taylor Greene, Reverend Kenneth Copeland, Matt Gaetz, Jayson Boebert, Lauren Boebert, Gym Jordan, and the worst human on the planet, next only to Donald J. Trump, Tucker Carlson!
There are a number of faith-based organizations, including Faithful America and Christians Against Christian Nationalism that are amassing tens of thousands of signatures condemning Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene's embrace of Christian nationalism. If you enjoyed this episode, please join us in signing their petitions.

The SCOURGE of Christian Nationalism (Part 1)
Thorn In The U.S.A.
08/19/22 • 15 min
Part one of our first two-part special is based on the following UNHINGED tweet from Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene. MTG is worse than a ‘Thorn in the USA,’ she is a fungus among us, an exemplary model of our domestic white supremacists and the face of CHRISTIAN NATIONALISM spreading across the globe (and far more dangerous than a pandemic.)
“I am being attacked by the godless left because I said I’m a proud Christian Nationalist. These evil people are even calling me a Nazi because I proudly love my country and my God. The left has shown us exactly who they are. They hate America, they hate God, and they hate us.” ~ @RepMTG
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (DUH!), Amy Coney Barrett, Mark Meadows, Brett Kavanaugh, Matt Gaetz, Lauren Bobo Boebert, Pastor Gerald Smith, and the worst human on the planet, next only to Donald J. Trump, Tucker Carlson!
Please consider investing your support behind Marcus Flowers and the campaign to defeat MTG in November!~ And/or consider donating to the good works of the ACLU who, for over a century, has been fighting virtually every civil liberties battle in the United States...
Engineering and Sound Design by the infinitely talented @DJBrianVasquez
PodArt by the ENDLESSLY talented Jennifer Dahbura

James Woods + Jon Voight = Old MAGA Farts
Thorn In The U.S.A.
10/21/22 • 16 min
PenelOp starts this episode with a big fat apology tour for Jimmy Woods and Jonny Voight. She neglected to mention them during her prior devotional, highlighting the stellar lineup of celebrities that the MAGA’s have representing them, including Ye, Scott Baio and Kid Rock. Out of pure devotion to this great theocracy, those two old MAGA Farts tweet like mad, feverishly attempting to remain relevant atop the dusty ash-heap of primordial, white, conservative men. Meanwhile, the DEMwits got everybody from ADele to Queen-B to Jay-Z.
Meanwhile, Ofr. Mike Fanone calls Rep. Keving McCarthy “fucking weasel bitch,” and we concur.
On this episode, Midge celebrates (and we poke) her fellow deplorables: Marjorie Taylor Greene, Kirk Cameron, Kid Rock and YAY or YEE ... or whatever the fuck Kanye is calling themself these days, Charlton Heston, Adolf Hitler, and OF COURSE, Tucker Carlson.
Thank you for listening to Thorn In The USA... if you enjoyed and even if you didn’t, please do what you can do to help bring Brittney Griner home!! Brittney has been wrongfully detained in Russia for almost 250 days! Help raise awareness and amplify the call to urge US officials to do the right thing.