This Is Not What I Ordered: conversations on chronic illness, loss + change

Today I'm joined by Alison Tedford Seaweed: a Canadian consultant, author and mother who lives with hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome, chronic idiopathic urticaria and ADHD. Alison wrote a book called "Chronic Profit" about running a business while managing chronic pain and finds new ways to cope every day.

In today's conversation, we discuss new, creative, and hilariously uplifting ways to rethink our relationships with our bodies amidst chronic illness, disordered eating, and a productivity-focused culture, as well as Alison's definition of Indigenous inclusion and her identity as a Kwakiutl First Nation member from a family of ʼNakwaxdaʼxw ancestry. There is so much depth and laughter in our conversation and I hope you enjoy the many insights Alison shares.

Alison shares about her personal journey navigating chronic illness, and the complexities of dealing with body image issues. As our discussion unfolds, we reflect on life's purpose and the continuous journey of self-discovery, highlighting the profound importance of stillness and self-care in our fast-paced world. Alison also shares her unique journey of self-discovery, celebrating Indigenous culture, and the profound significance of reclaiming her last name, Seaweed. Join us for this very special episode where the themes of resilience and the concept of "enoughness" take center stage, and where you can always rest assured that your presence is, indeed, the most valuable gift of all.

Episode Highlights:

• The transformative power of connecting with nature
• Consulting work in helping businesses share their stories
• Navigating chronic illness and body image issues, emphasizing self-compassion and humor
• Cherishing stillness and self-care in a fast-paced world
• Alison’s journey of self-discovery and celebrating Indigenous culture.
• The importance of Indigenous inclusion and its benefits
• Alison on reclaiming her last name, Seaweed, and its significance

Quotes:

"I do a lot of work with different companies and helping them share their stories, often as they relate to their connection to Indigenous people... imagining ways to be more inclusive.”

"I went from being super happy with my body because it could do a lot of things to then feeling really frustrated with my body because it couldn't do all of the things."

"Indigenous inclusion isn't doing a favor to Indigenous people. It's a benefit to the people who are welcoming us to the table."

"In reconnecting with language, I'm getting to learn so much more about the values of my culture and my family."

"Fulfillment has been knowing that there's enough."

"When people are feeling like there isn't enough or that there's scarcity, it isn't an attitude problem. It can just be situational awareness."

"Your presence is a gift, and you don't have to do anything to earn the right to be here."

Links:

This Is Not What I Ordered

Lauren Selfridge

Alison Tedford Seaweed

In this episode, I’m joined by Andy McLellan, a haiku poet and trainee Zen priest living in Canterbury, UK.

Nearly 25 years ago, when Andy was in the midst of obtaining his PhD, he began experiencing symptoms he assumed were associated with stress. Shortly after graduating, however, he came down with glandular fever and collapsed, never fully recovering.

Over the next 20 years, Andy would receive a diagnosis of myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and navigate an entirely new learning curve: how to organize his life in a way that would allow him to balance his chronic illness and start a family.

Despite knowing the signs and symptoms and understanding that he would need to slow down and take care of himself, he suffered a major crash 5 years ago which has caused him to be largely confined to his bed.

However, that doesn’t stop Andy from finding joy in the simple things: squirrels right outside his bedroom door, knitting, writing beautiful haiku poetry. It’s evident throughout our chat that Andy has not allowed his chronic illness to alter his positivity. If anything, it has buoyed it.

I felt a powerful connection to Andy, and we were both reminded just how impactful it can be to sit with people who just get it. As individuals navigating our chronic illnesses, we can connect with each other and not have to over-explain, or judge. We just take these illnesses for what they are and support one another fully.

This conversation with Andy proved a testament to resilience. He is truly an inspiration to me, and I hope to all of you.

Lanie Smith is the owner and founder of Integrative Art Therapy in Phoenix, Arizona, working with driven helping professionals whose success has come at the cost of their own health and well-being. After developing ulcerative colitis a few years ago, she has turned her attention toward supporting clients with a spiritual approach she calls “EcoArt Wellness,” which combines nature and the creative process to help people tune in as an antidote to burnout and chronic stress.

In this episode, Lanie discusses why she emphasizes essentialism and simplicity in her life, the importance of maintaining a strong connection with the outdoors, and staying in touch with her senses. She believes in sustainable self-care as a lifestyle to experience less stress, more ease, and natural creative flow.

You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

This is Not What I ordered is wrapping up its first season. For this first of hopefully many season finales, I share some of my favorite moments from throughout the season. I'm also joined with many of Season One's previous guests who share their reflections, personal updates, and wishes for you. You’ll also hear from some of the folks who work behind the scenes to put this show together.

You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

In today’s special bonus episode, I delve into the topic of navigating the holidays with loved ones while dealing with chronic illness. The holiday season can be both joyous and challenging, especially when we want to connect with family and friends who may not fully understand our health challenges. In today’s episode, I discuss the importance of communication and setting clear expectations with loved ones, the power of sharing our health challenges openly, and the value of staying connected with others who understand what we're going through.

I also share my own personal experience of living with multiple sclerosis for a decade, and offer valuable insights to help you create a meaningful and fulfilling holiday season, even in the midst of health challenges. Finally, you’ll hear about my upcoming holiday workbook, A Gentle Guide to Creating Joy and Connection for the Holidays While Living with Chronic Illness and Health Challenges, which is designed to help you navigate the holiday season more effectively. So, let's dive into this episode and explore practical ways to make your holidays more enjoyable and inclusive.

For more valuable insights and guidance on navigating the holiday season with chronic illness, be sure to listen to the full episode. And if you're interested in exploring the holiday workbook mentioned in the episode, visit www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

Episode Highlights

• The importance of asking loved ones for what you need during the holiday season
• The value of sharing your health challenges openly and authentically with family and friends
• Tips on managing expectations and helping your loved ones understand your unique situation
• Strategies for staying connected with friends and loved ones who also have health challenges
• The significance of simply being present and not feeling pressured to be at your best during the holidays
• A gentle holiday preparation workbook designed to help you navigate the season with ease

Quotes

"I think if I had really been told that I could share and actually have that be a positive thing, it really would have changed my experience of showing up with a body that has its own plans and feel less alone."

"When we can share more openly about what's going on for us, I think it invites people into our world and it invites them to be in the messiness with us and helps us feel like we've got companions."

"The people who love you just want to be around you. So keep that in mind, even if you've got people who care about you and maybe they don't quite understand how to show up for you, or maybe they're feeling their own emotions."

"Just being in the room with you is significant. You may have a ton of symptoms. You may have a bad mood sometimes. You might not feel like your full self. You might just be dealing with not feeling up for quite the social interaction that you used to or that you wish you could be up for. Just know that that's okay."

Links:

This Is Not What I Ordered

Lauren Selfridge