How To Build Stronger Blended Families | Ron Deal
11/22/24 • 41 min
Did you know nearly half of adults are a part of a stepfamily relationship? We know blending families comes with its own set of unique challenges, so on today’s episode, Rob Philo talks with Ron Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist and an expert in stepfamily education; he’s also one of the most widely read and viewed experts on this subject. In this conversation, Ron shares practical strategies for coparenting straight from his book, “The Smart Stepfamily.” If you are a co-parent, or you know someone who is, check out this episode packed with helpful advice and encouragement for fostering harmony in your blended family.
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Time Stamps:
(1:35) What inspired Ron Deal to get involved in stepfamily ministry
(4:35) When it comes to coparenting, respect the other parent and his or her household
(13:42) Schedule a regular meeting to discuss coparenting matters
(16:40) When children express confusion or anger towards your ex, don’t use it as an opportunity to berate the other parent
(19:47) Children should have everything they need in each home
(21:35) Make your custody structure work for your children even if you don’t like the details of your arrangement
(29:04) If you plan to hire a babysitter for more than four hours, give the other parent the option to watch the kid
(30:37) Resist the urge to only do special activities with all of the children around and not just some of the children
(33:29) Have financial conversations in private; your kids shouldn’t be your messenger
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Links:
Smart Stepfamilies https://smartstepfamilies.com/
“The Smart Stepfamily” https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Stepfamily-Seven-Healthy-Family-ebook/dp/B00GHXRSOK/
Romans 12:17-18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012%3A17-18&version=ESV
“The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning” https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Stepfamily-Guide-Financial-Planning-ebook/dp/B07PZZ483X/
FamilyLife https://www.familylife.com/familylifeblended/blended-families/
Blended Families Moving Ahead WinShape Marriage Retreat https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/blended-families-moving-ahead-october-2025/
Jeff and Tammy’s Story: Redemption for Their Marriage and Family https://marriage.winshape.org/story/jeff-tammys-story-redemption-for-their-marriage-and-family/
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/
The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/
Did you know nearly half of adults are a part of a stepfamily relationship? We know blending families comes with its own set of unique challenges, so on today’s episode, Rob Philo talks with Ron Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist and an expert in stepfamily education; he’s also one of the most widely read and viewed experts on this subject. In this conversation, Ron shares practical strategies for coparenting straight from his book, “The Smart Stepfamily.” If you are a co-parent, or you know someone who is, check out this episode packed with helpful advice and encouragement for fostering harmony in your blended family.
----------
Time Stamps:
(1:35) What inspired Ron Deal to get involved in stepfamily ministry
(4:35) When it comes to coparenting, respect the other parent and his or her household
(13:42) Schedule a regular meeting to discuss coparenting matters
(16:40) When children express confusion or anger towards your ex, don’t use it as an opportunity to berate the other parent
(19:47) Children should have everything they need in each home
(21:35) Make your custody structure work for your children even if you don’t like the details of your arrangement
(29:04) If you plan to hire a babysitter for more than four hours, give the other parent the option to watch the kid
(30:37) Resist the urge to only do special activities with all of the children around and not just some of the children
(33:29) Have financial conversations in private; your kids shouldn’t be your messenger
----------
Links:
Smart Stepfamilies https://smartstepfamilies.com/
“The Smart Stepfamily” https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Stepfamily-Seven-Healthy-Family-ebook/dp/B00GHXRSOK/
Romans 12:17-18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012%3A17-18&version=ESV
“The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning” https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Stepfamily-Guide-Financial-Planning-ebook/dp/B07PZZ483X/
FamilyLife https://www.familylife.com/familylifeblended/blended-families/
Blended Families Moving Ahead WinShape Marriage Retreat https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/blended-families-moving-ahead-october-2025/
Jeff and Tammy’s Story: Redemption for Their Marriage and Family https://marriage.winshape.org/story/jeff-tammys-story-redemption-for-their-marriage-and-family/
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/
The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/
Previous Episode
Dealing With Stress and Anxiety in Marriage | Monique Wells
Anxiety is a heavy word. Saying it out loud can invoke strong emotions, and dealing with it as an individual can be challenging enough. So how do you navigate through seasons of anxiety in your marriage? In this episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold sits down with Monique Wells, a licensed professional counselor with over 25 years of experience. They navigate this important conversation answering questions like, “How can I support my spouse if they’re dealing with anxiety?”; “What can we do if we’re both walking through an anxious season?”; and “How can we stay connected amidst it all?” Hear practical ways you can show up for your spouse and strategies to manage this season as a team.
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Time Stamps:
(1:50) What does anxiety look like and how do you pay attention to it
(4:47) If you’re noticing signs of generalized anxiety for yourself, how do you let your spouse into how you’re feeling
(8:45) How to support your spouse if they’re experiencing stress and anxiety
(14:39) How to navigate a stressful or anxious season together, if you’re both experiencing it
(21:03) How to recognize if generalized anxiety is moving into more chronic anxiety
(26:53) How to approach anxiety from a biblical perspective
(33:12) How important is it to maintain connection and intimacy during seasons of anxiety
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Links:
2 Corinthians 10:5-6 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Corinthians%2010%3A%205-6&version=ESV
Philippians 4:8 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%204%3A8&version=ESV
John 10:10 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2010%3A10&version=ESV
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/
Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/
Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/11/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep8.pdf
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Relevant Resources:
“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/
Next Episode
Building a Culture of Gratitude in Your Marriage
Happy Thanksgiving from WinShape Marriage! We know Thanksgiving is a day to reflect on gratitude, but gratitude extends far beyond one holiday in the calendar year. How can you and your spouse build a culture of gratitude in your marriage? Spoiler—saying, “Thank you,” is just the tip of the iceberg. Building a culture of appreciation affects your marriage positively in many ways. For example, it impacts your marriage when you’re experiencing a challenging season, and it rubs off on your kids and the culture of your family. Rob Philo sits down with Genee Francis, assistant director of content and programming at WinShape Marriage to unpack this timely topic!
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Time Stamps:
(2:06) What is the difference between saying, “Thank you,” and truly being grateful
(7:55) How can you tell yourself a better story about who you are/who your spouse is
(9:41) How can you practically be a better spouse when it comes to appreciation
(11:24) How can you set up a routine/system of showing gratitude
(15:32) The impact gratitude has when you and your spouse are experiencing a tough season
(19:30) What does it mean to model a culture of gratitude to your kids?
(21:53) Is it true that spouses receive appreciation in different ways?
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Links:
Creating and Sustaining a Culture of Appreciation in Difficult Times https://www.gottman.com/blog/creating-and-sustaining-a-culture-of-appreciation-in-difficult-times/
Share Fondness and Admiration https://www.gottman.com/blog/share-fondness-and-admiration/
Everyday Is a Day of Thanksgiving https://www.shazam.com/song/719632328/everyday-is-a-day-of-thanksgiving
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Thessalonians%205%3A16-18&version=ESV
Gratitude journal https://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Change-Mindfulness-Reflection-Affirmations/dp/0991846206/
The 5 Love Languages https://5lovelanguages.com/
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/
260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/
Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/11/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep10.pdf
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Relevant Episodes:
How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=131s
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