Getting on the Same Page at Christmas
12/18/24 • 74 min
Merry Christmas from WinShape Marriage! As joyous as the holiday season can be, we know that trying to align you and your spouse’s calendars with the calendars of your in-laws and extended family can be challenging and even cause some tension. On today’s Christmas themed episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo interview several WinShape Marriage friends to get their perspectives. Every family has their own established rhythms and traditions which is why we asked multiple spouses the same three questions to hear their unique responses. Learn how these spouses currently navigate conversations around holiday schedules (and how they’ve navigated discussions in the past) with one another and with their in-laws and extended families as well as their best piece of advice for couples of all ages when it comes to this hot topic.
Spoiler—there are several similar themes that emerge like:
—Talking about holiday schedules early
—Being flexible as you enter different seasons of marriage
—Remembering your spouse is your first priority
It’s likely most of you have already locked in your plans for the 2024 Christmas season—we get it. So, consider listening to this episode through the lens of, “How can we approach this conversation differently in 2025, especially if it didn’t go well this year?” Whatever you’ve already experienced this holiday season and considering the days leading up to Christmas, from all of us here at WinShape Marriage, we wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!
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Time Stamps:
(1:10) The Francis Family—Genee and Rashad Francis; Genee, Assistant Director of Content and Programming at WinShape Marriage
(11:52) The Agan Family—Bob and Suzanne Agan, WinShape Marriage Host Couple
(22:35) The Smalley Family—Dr. Greg (Erin) Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family
(36:23) The Deagle Family—William and Jessica Deagle, WinShape Marriage Host Couple
(49:46) The Feldhahn Family—Shaunti (Jeff) Feldhahn, Social Researcher, Author, and Speaker
(58:26) The Arnold Family and The Philo Family—Cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo
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Links:
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/
260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/
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Relevant Resources:
“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/
“10 Tips to Foster Positive Communication at Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/10-tips-to-foster-positive-communication-at-christmas/
“How To Tell Your Parents You Won’t Be Home for Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-wont-be-home-for-christmas/
Merry Christmas from WinShape Marriage! As joyous as the holiday season can be, we know that trying to align you and your spouse’s calendars with the calendars of your in-laws and extended family can be challenging and even cause some tension. On today’s Christmas themed episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo interview several WinShape Marriage friends to get their perspectives. Every family has their own established rhythms and traditions which is why we asked multiple spouses the same three questions to hear their unique responses. Learn how these spouses currently navigate conversations around holiday schedules (and how they’ve navigated discussions in the past) with one another and with their in-laws and extended families as well as their best piece of advice for couples of all ages when it comes to this hot topic.
Spoiler—there are several similar themes that emerge like:
—Talking about holiday schedules early
—Being flexible as you enter different seasons of marriage
—Remembering your spouse is your first priority
It’s likely most of you have already locked in your plans for the 2024 Christmas season—we get it. So, consider listening to this episode through the lens of, “How can we approach this conversation differently in 2025, especially if it didn’t go well this year?” Whatever you’ve already experienced this holiday season and considering the days leading up to Christmas, from all of us here at WinShape Marriage, we wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!
----------
Time Stamps:
(1:10) The Francis Family—Genee and Rashad Francis; Genee, Assistant Director of Content and Programming at WinShape Marriage
(11:52) The Agan Family—Bob and Suzanne Agan, WinShape Marriage Host Couple
(22:35) The Smalley Family—Dr. Greg (Erin) Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family
(36:23) The Deagle Family—William and Jessica Deagle, WinShape Marriage Host Couple
(49:46) The Feldhahn Family—Shaunti (Jeff) Feldhahn, Social Researcher, Author, and Speaker
(58:26) The Arnold Family and The Philo Family—Cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo
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Links:
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/
260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/
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Relevant Resources:
“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/
“10 Tips to Foster Positive Communication at Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/10-tips-to-foster-positive-communication-at-christmas/
“How To Tell Your Parents You Won’t Be Home for Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-wont-be-home-for-christmas/
Previous Episode
6 Common Traits of Couples Who Struggle | Scott Kedersha
Sometimes, it’s what you don’t do in your marriage that makes the biggest difference. Scott Kedersha, the marriage and family pastor at Harris Creek Baptist Church in Waco, Texas, joins Rob Philo on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast to unpack six common characteristics he’s noticed in couples who struggle in their marriage. Don’t fret—he provides practical, biblical advice for counteracting these traits. Learn how isolation impacts your marriage, boredom is dangerous, and humility shifts conflict. Whether you desire to break out of a rut or you want to strengthen your marriage foundation, this episode is packed with actionable insights.
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Time Stamps:
(7:00) Neither spouse is pursuing Jesus
(13:14) They don’t know how to communicate or manage conflict
(17:18) They tend to find themselves isolated and absent from strong community
(21:13) They’re bored and tired
(27:31) They blame their spouse
(31:13) They’re not committed, and they look for a way out
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Links:
Common Characteristics Of Couples Who Struggle https://www.scottkedersha.com/blog-pages/common-characteristics-of-couples-who-struggle
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/
Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/
Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/12/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep11-1.pdf
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Relevant Resources:
“Let’s Talk Marriage Communication Exercises” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/lets-talk-marriage-communication-exercises/
“Seven Ideas: How To Communicate Better With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/seven-ideas-how-to-communicate-better-with-your-spouse/
“Four Steps To Repairing Conflict With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/4-steps-to-repairing-conflict/
“Conflict Resolution Strategies” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conflict-resolution-strategies/
“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/
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Relevant Episodes:
How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdfGBQ-yU7s&t=337s
Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA
Next Episode
25 Fun Date Ideas To Try in 2025
Happy New Year from WinShape Marriage! We know the new year inspires many to create a list of resolutions they hope to accomplish, so we’re providing a unique twist on this practice. Instead of creating New Year’s resolutions, consider making a 2025 bucket list of date ideas for you and your spouse to check off throughout the year. To get you started, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo run through their list of 25 date ideas for 2025 featuring some tried-and-true ideas like booking a spa day, some of their personal favorites such as having a themed night, and some brand-new ideas like having an upside-down dinner. This lighthearted episode will help you ease into the new year with excitement and anticipation for all the fun to come with your spouse in 2025!
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Time Stamps:
(1:08) #1 – Participate in a glassblowing class
(2:52) #2 – Take on Rob’s “farmers market challenge”
(4:11) #3 – Write “open when” letters
(5:50) #4 – Book a couple photo shoot
(6:53) #5 – Have a board game marathon
(8:02) #6 – Attend a live concert or performance
(8:32) #7 – Play mini golf
(9:34) #8 – Have a themed date night
(11:23) #9 – Drive to see fall foliage
(12:24) #10 – Book a spa day
(13:14) #11 – Visit a Christmas tree farm
(14:26) #12 – Go on a lunch date
(15:20) #13 – Go on a food tour
(16:27) #14 – Book a cool Airbnb
(17:18) #15 – Recreate your first date
(19:10) #16 – Rate the animals at the zoo or aquarium
(19:56) #17 – Have a “color date”
(21:24) #18 – Pick your next date night restaurant on Yelp
(22:06) #19 – Watch a documentary
(23:43) #20 – Participate in a candle making glass
(24:32) #21 – Go to an open mic night
(25:10) #22 – Volunteer
(25:50) #23 – Have a movie marathon
(27:07) #24 – Paint
(28:10) #25 – Have an upside-down dinner
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Links:
WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/
WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/
2025 Date Ideas Bucket List PDF https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/01/2025-Date-Idea-Bucket-List.png
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Relevant Resources:
“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/
“12 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/12-new-years-resolutions-for-couples/
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