Hold Me Now (actually don't though)
Explicit content warning
06/16/24 • 38 min
How can I hold this for you
If I can't hold you?
Like a lot of people with sensory issues, I struggle with physical contact. I don't want anyone to touch me, but I feel so left out and alone when I see others doing it. Teenage girls walking down the street arm in arm, friends casually leaning on one another, toddlers being carried by their parents.
So, when a public speaking workshop turned out to be a highly physical affair, I was pushed to consider why I am so averse to being touched, being held, by others.
✨
Like many neurodivergent people, being perceived, being seen, is a truly difficult thing for me to experience. Despite this, I want to share my music, my art, because I know that when I do, it can help others to process their own experiences. That's why I started this podcast, so that my work could find you, the one who needs to hear it. Thank you for listening 🙏🏻
If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:
💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show
💜 Become a subscriber
💜 Listen to my music
How can I hold this for you
If I can't hold you?
Like a lot of people with sensory issues, I struggle with physical contact. I don't want anyone to touch me, but I feel so left out and alone when I see others doing it. Teenage girls walking down the street arm in arm, friends casually leaning on one another, toddlers being carried by their parents.
So, when a public speaking workshop turned out to be a highly physical affair, I was pushed to consider why I am so averse to being touched, being held, by others.
✨
Like many neurodivergent people, being perceived, being seen, is a truly difficult thing for me to experience. Despite this, I want to share my music, my art, because I know that when I do, it can help others to process their own experiences. That's why I started this podcast, so that my work could find you, the one who needs to hear it. Thank you for listening 🙏🏻
If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:
💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show
💜 Become a subscriber
💜 Listen to my music
Previous Episode
Supermarket Blues
Ticking all off my problems off of the shopping list
They’re all out of hope but I don’t even know if I need it
Yeah, I’m, oh,
Forgot myself better go back for it
Why do I spend so much time in the supermarket? What do I get out of wandering through the aisles, buying ugly decor and kitchen tat, blankets, and cheapy candles.
Consumerism or post-pandemic mental health coping strategy? Perhaps it's both. Let's find out.
✨
Like many neurodivergent people, being perceived, being seen, is a truly difficult thing for me to experience. Despite this, I want to share my music, my art, because I know that when I do, it can help others to process their own experiences. That's why I started this podcast, so that my work could find you, the one who needs to hear it. Thank you for listening 🙏🏻
If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:
💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show
💜 Become a subscriber
💜 Listen to my music
Next Episode
I Wanna Make It
On my 18th birthday, my parents gave me a black terracotta jar adorned with red and white love hearts. It came with a small piece of paper upon which I was supposed to write a wish, a hope, a dream.
Once you have filled the jar with money, you smash it and voila, your wish has come true. My wish, hope, dream?
I wanna make it.
I've had that jar for almost 18 years. Did I make it?
✨
Like many neurodivergent people, being perceived, being seen, is a truly difficult thing for me to experience. Despite this, I want to share my music, my art, because I know that when I do, it can help others to process their own experiences. That's why I started this podcast, so that my work could find you, the one who needs to hear it. Thank you for listening 🙏🏻
If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:
💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show
💜 Become a subscriber
💜 Listen to my music
The Steinpunk Diaries - Hold Me Now (actually don't though)
Transcript
I only have a transcript of the spoken word only for this episode at the moment, apologies!
*******
I can't.
I've never...
It's not you...
but,
is it me?
When did I begin to stop being so receptive?
Who did I gift with my last freely given embrace?
No hesitation
no pressure
practice needed.
What does it feel like?
To touch
without resistance?
How do you know when to pull back
lean in
give
in.
I want to look
I want to see
I want to
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