Episode 20 S3 - Overcome Innate Resistance to Start Working on Your Goals
Explicit content warning
05/19/23 • 16 min
Whenever anyone tells us something to do, we have pushback against that idea to see if they really mean it, and also to reinforce what we’re doing instead of changing. It happens even when we ask ourselves to do something different.
Instead of telling ourselves to do something, we should let ourselves opt in. We change much easier when we are able to believe we are choosing to do an action rather than forced to do an action or reluctantly complying with a protocol.
Is there something that I have been putting off, that I could help myself to do by imagining how nice it will be to have the result of it being done? Getting that feeling of having the result makes you naturally more motivated and ready to take action.
Once you agree that your desired action is a great idea, it makes it harder to not do it.
Getting over the hump of not wanting to spend your day doing something you don’t think you’ll enjoy can be helped by noticing if there’s something you’re currently doing that isn’t bringing you a lot of joy or accomplishment, and asking if you could use that time to try the new thing. If you want to stop playing on your phone, for instance, and want to get your laundry done – you can use the impulse to play on your phone as the reminder to pick up the laundry basket and just put the laundry in already! This way it’s harder to argue with yourself about getting started, and you’ll likely still have time for your phone later anyway. 😊
You can also overcome some resistance by recognizing how much energy you spend on thinking about the action you haven’t taken yet, and really feel in your bones how much easier it would feel to have just done the action already and not still have to do it.
Action in a lot of ways can be an energy saver for you, but you just never thought of it that way!
Your donations mean the world to me and allow me to continue to create content each week. I ❤️you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- leave an awesome review on Apple podcasts to help spread the word
- subscribe so you don't miss an episode wherever you stream your podcasts
Thanks for listening!
Whenever anyone tells us something to do, we have pushback against that idea to see if they really mean it, and also to reinforce what we’re doing instead of changing. It happens even when we ask ourselves to do something different.
Instead of telling ourselves to do something, we should let ourselves opt in. We change much easier when we are able to believe we are choosing to do an action rather than forced to do an action or reluctantly complying with a protocol.
Is there something that I have been putting off, that I could help myself to do by imagining how nice it will be to have the result of it being done? Getting that feeling of having the result makes you naturally more motivated and ready to take action.
Once you agree that your desired action is a great idea, it makes it harder to not do it.
Getting over the hump of not wanting to spend your day doing something you don’t think you’ll enjoy can be helped by noticing if there’s something you’re currently doing that isn’t bringing you a lot of joy or accomplishment, and asking if you could use that time to try the new thing. If you want to stop playing on your phone, for instance, and want to get your laundry done – you can use the impulse to play on your phone as the reminder to pick up the laundry basket and just put the laundry in already! This way it’s harder to argue with yourself about getting started, and you’ll likely still have time for your phone later anyway. 😊
You can also overcome some resistance by recognizing how much energy you spend on thinking about the action you haven’t taken yet, and really feel in your bones how much easier it would feel to have just done the action already and not still have to do it.
Action in a lot of ways can be an energy saver for you, but you just never thought of it that way!
Your donations mean the world to me and allow me to continue to create content each week. I ❤️you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- leave an awesome review on Apple podcasts to help spread the word
- subscribe so you don't miss an episode wherever you stream your podcasts
Thanks for listening!
Previous Episode
Episode 19 S3 - How To Make a Roadmap to Your Goals
When our goal is too broad or vague, it’s too difficult for our brains to get on board and make it happen. Our bodies don’t know what we want them to do. Making decisions that could get us closer to the goal becomes super difficult because we have no real sense of what succeeding at the goal looks like.
The first challenge is recognizing why you haven’t already changed.
The next challenge is figuring out how you can maintain whatever rewards you are currently getting from staying the same and converting it into a new action or way of being that gets you closer to your goal.
You can use your imagination to wonder about who you would be if you already had the thing you want to have, or already succeeded in completing the goal. Then, you notice the difference between how that future version of yourself does things and how you currently do them.
It’s so important to be specific about what you should be doing instead of what you already do. It isn’t even an option to change what you do until you know what the new action is.
You should also look out for the thoughts and motivations that you think you will feel when you change or are taking a different action. Most of the time, we don’t feel great about a new action while we are in the day-to-day grind. The rewarding feelings come way later, in hindsight and reflection. Or at least that is the case for me!
When making your roadmap, half of the battle is confronting our thoughts and feelings and knowing that it’s OK to have thoughts and feelings and choose consciously which way to go with our decisions.
Knowing what it’s like to make a different choice makes choosing that choice way easier. You know what you are going to object to and what it will sound like or feel like, and you will set up in advance a way to make it easier for you to make the choice you’d prefer.
Try to make your steps small and simple, easy to track, and not too demanding of your energy or willpower. If you accumulate many small nearly effortless steps, you will get to your destination SO MUCH FASTER and more permanently than you will otherwise.
Your donations mean the world to me and allow me to continue to create content each week. I ❤️you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- leave an awesome review on Apple podcasts to help spread the word
- subscribe so you don't miss an episode wherever you stream your podcasts
Thanks for listening!
Next Episode
Episode 21 S3- Mothering and Nurturing Ourselves and Our Dreams
Mothering and nurturing is showing up for another person no matter what, whether you have a lot to give or not. What does this concept look like when we apply it not only to child raising, but also to ourselves, our goals and our dreams?
When we are at our worst, feeling the least motivated and the moodiest, it is when we need the most nurturing, love and appreciation. Only through giving ourselves a chance to recuperate from stress and expending energy will we accumulate enough energy to keep going and do all the things we want with our life.
Taking care of ourselves is about choosing what thing we use our energy on in each moment. When we run out of energy to keep going, that is when we need to replenish - not just to keep going doing annoying things we didn’t want to do anyway – but so that we reach a point where we feel nice, we feel full and capable of desiring action again. If you’re constantly resistant to doing anything, then you’re burnt out and need a restorative pause that lasts longer than you're comfortable with more than ever!
Giving yourself what you need, and even if what you need is to stop entirely and do nothing for a few days, the returns on that are so much more than you anticipate.
Your life is like a garden that needs tending. Energy doesn’t come from nowhere. You have to take some back in order to give some.
Your donations mean the world to me and allow me to continue to create content each week. I ❤️you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- leave an awesome review on Apple podcasts to help spread the word
- subscribe so you don't miss an episode wherever you stream your podcasts
Thanks for listening!
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