The Renegade Mama

Today on the show I speak with Hayley Wilson about her journey to surrogacy. Hayley had two children of her own and decided she wanted to experience having another birth but without the baby at the end. She researched surrogacy and found a family she aligned with to carry their biological baby for them. She had five attempts to fall pregnant with the embryo, and it finally took on the last attempt. The pregnancy as you would suspect was a lot of drugs which she now sees as probably unnecessary. She said it was a hard pregnancy and in retrospect puts this down to the energetics of carrying someone else’s baby. Even though her and the parents were on the same page and both very respectful of each other - she talks about how there were still bumps in the road regarding bodily autonomy and conflicts in the birth space. In Australia commercial surrogacy is not legal and you can not be paid to be a surrogate, which you many may think is a better system. Altruistic Surrogacy which is legal in Australia and what Hayley did, still has it’s problems though. Hayley ends by telling us why she would never be a surrogate again and in reflection the other reasons why she did it. Hayley is beautifully honest and respectful. I loved hearing her journey of surrogacy and ultimately of her personal growth.

Bio:

Hayley Wilson is a self-led, matriarchal birth worker and mentor who wants every woman to access her inner depth, intuition and power. She believes in embodying matriarchy and uses a range of heart-led energetic practices to guide women toward their internal wisdom. Hayley supports her clients to unlearn and live in feminine alignment so they can curate the births and businesses of their dreams.

Today on the show I speak to Christie about her home birth and subsequent freebirth on her partners family farm in New Zealand. Although her first birth was overall “pretty great” there were things that she wasn’t quite happy with such as coached pushing, her babe being yanked out and a syntocinon shot for the placenta. For her second, even though her partner was gunning for a freebirth right from the start she was still unsure. She dipped in and out of the system and just a few weeks before the birth she decided to freebirth. This birth she decided to breath her baby out and said she slipped out with the perfect ‘textbook twist’. Her placenta didn’t come out straight away and she called the midwife who gave her the syntocinon shot in her first birth for advice. The midwife suggested for her to go to hospital but that didn’t feel right and she waited it out with her placenta being born 7.5 hours later. Christie and her partner Ben are such a beautiful couple and I love the faith and trust they have in each other.

More about Christie:

A couple of months after discovering she was pregnant covid hit and Christie and her long time partner chose his family farm in NZ to ride out the lockdowns and start their family. In a small hut on the property without power or hot water they water birthed their first child with the local midwife and chose the same spot to have their second. This time a simple free birth with no one but themselves. Their family now complete, they travel around the world following their whims and work.

Today on the show I speak to the gorgeous and young first time Mama Emma. Hailing from Burma Emma grew up in a world of pathology with both her parents as doctors and her Mum a literal pathologist. Emma’s birth was as far as you could get from freebirth with a planned c-section and her Mum making a decision from the start to not breastfeed her. After meeting her husband and them both converting to Catholicism - they fell pregnant and delved into their options. After a short period of denial about the pregnancy, Emma decided on freebirth as the most logical option. Although her husband didn’t agree he was supportive of her and her decision. The birth was a 3 day long labour but relatively pain free and simple. Breastfeeding was a breeze and Emma is absolutely loving motherhood. I love Emma’s confident and sure of herself nature. It’s inspiring to see this next generation coming through who’s rebellion is returning to their intuition, natural living and traditional values.

Today on the show I speak with Jamie about the freebirth of her fourth child. After 2 unnecessary caesarean’s - Jaime had a left the system at 30 weeks and had a freebirth for her 3rd. You can listen this story in season 2 of the podcast.

For 4th, of course, there was no going back and she had a wild pregnancy and freebirth. We get to hear about how this baby come to her, even though her husband had said they were done and challenges with her friends along the way.

Overall though Jamie had uneventful pregnancy and a short 3.5 hour birth. The most remarkable thing about Jamie’s story is, how calm and centred she was when her babe took some minutes to take their first proper breath.

As we know in hospital this would have been completely pathologised and the interventions would have likely endangered her and her baby.

Jamie welcomed her baby into the world in their own time by simply talking, kissing and gently stroking him. She says she was not worried once and if you watch the video on her insta @thebondsofbirth you can see how natural and normal this process was for her.

What I love about Jamie is her no bullshit approach, what you see is what you get. She is so relatable and unpretentious you just want to be her friend. Enjoy this interview of this bold and strong woman.

More about Jamie:

My FBA2C, fourth pregnancy, first wild pregnancy, second freebirth; was a journey of how to handle things when shit gets hard and rewriting/changing the cycles and reactions to them instead of falling into the victim mode.

Navigating the loss of friendships and plans constantly falling through whilst trying to set myself up for a relaxed postpartum. Then working through an intense and fast 3.5 hour labour and honouring my babe as he took an extra long time to come into his body.

Today on the show I speak with Cat Price. Cat is a Mama of 2, an ex-midwifery student and more recently a birthkeeper. Cat had a wonderful first homebirth with a midwife which opened up a whole new world to her. For her second pregnancy she went on to decide that she’d like a freebirth but says that she was only 90% there. I find Cat’s story really interesting, as it’s an example of when we are not 100% aligned - how things can have the potential to go haywire. Although the birth was relatively straight forward - a comment from her doula really affected her. When her daughter was born - she decided to call an ambulance at the suggestion of the doula. These kind of power leaks where we listen to others over ourselves can have detrimental effects. The ambulance came - Cat knew everything was well and they left. But - consequently in the coming days - social services rocked up on her door unannounced. They berated her and harassed her in her vulnerable postpartum state. Cat understandably felt overwhelmed and shut done - she even started to question herself. She endured some very dark days postpartum but has recently come out the other side and has graciously been brave enough to share her story, which I know will be able to help others. I thank Cat for her open vulnerability - I am honoured to share her story.

More about Cat -

My name is Cat. I was born in South Africa but have lived in the UK since I was a baby. I am a wife and a mother-of-two. I'm a birthkeeper, a holder of sacred spaces and a weaver of words.

In 2017 I was training as a midwife in the system when I became unexpectedly pregnant with my first child. I gave birth to him in a simple and powerful birth at home (midwife-attended) that undid everything. As a result I swore off attending births myself and left my training, instead immersing myself in full-time mothering.

I later returned to assisting a local doula in running groups for new mothers and trained as a postpartum doula myself. I became unexpectedly pregnant again just before the Covid madness descended. After a wild pregnancy and freebirth (which was ultimately disturbed) with my daughter, I was subject to a Social Services investigation which desecrated my sacred postpartum time. These events inspired the darkest night of the soul that I've ever experienced.

Subsequently in early 2021, I witnessed the death of my beloved father-in-law at home. It opened my heart to the magic inherent in the rites of passage of both birth AND death.

With all that I have learned and embodied in the past few years, I have been moved recently to claim the title of "birthkeeper" and to begin to hold sacred space once again. It feels like coming home after the most arduous journey.