The Problem With Perfect

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The Declaration of Independence says these are three examples of unalienable rights given to each of us by our Creator.
So, what does it mean to pursue happiness? And how do you know when you've achieved it? How do you know if and when you're happy?
It's a simple question that's not so simple to answer. Maybe that's why the internet is full of posts like these:
Six Ways to be Happy
Seven Happiness Boosters
Eight Happy Nutrients
Nine Tips to Feel Happy
Top 80 Happiness Podcasts to Follow in 2021
In this episode, we ask ourselves this meaningful question, as well as explore how to know if you're happy and how to become happier. Join us for this personal and transparent conversation and in doing so, hopefully you'll become... happier!
Show Notes
2:00 Back together and live from the loft, Rachel talks about a new life change she's experiencing.
4:45 Ever wonder how we come up with podcast topics? Listen here for the behind the scenes WHY for this episode.
8:30 How do you define happiness?
12:00 Are we as Christians blowing off the happy question and not taking it seriously for our own well-being and for the benefit of those around us?
15:00 Still trying to decide whether or not you're happy? Take the quiz we took and let is spur your thinking.
https://www.oprah.com/spirit/take-the-happiness-test-quiz_1
17:00 Do you find the joy in the journey or do you play the IF, THEN happiness game?
20:00 Listen here to hear how Rachel sees the definition of happiness evolving as life unfolds.
23:00 Are you waiting for MORE and BETTER to be happy? If you made a list of what you need to be happy, would it look like ours?
28:45 Listen here for Robin's suggestion for the one activity that would make us all happier.
30:00 To learn more about the Authentic Happiness Theory, go to https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/martin-seligman-psychology/.
36:00 Are you being transformed by this one thing every day?

As believers, we know we are created in God’s likeness and as such are called to reflect his image. But that isn’t always what we really want to do, is it?
Unlike Jesus, we struggle to forgive and extend grace. We aren't curious to go have a meal with someone different than us. We don’t want to be selfless and our work to go unnoticed and we don’t like it when our love for others to come with a cost.

Instead - since we are being honest with ourselves - we simply want to be God. We want to be the one in control and not need anyone or anything.

Matt May joins Robin on this episode and we explore the ways this desire for self sufficiency shows up in our lives and in doing so, how it actually keeps us from experiencing the joy of relationship with God and those around us. As always, Matt’s insight is profound and he’s beautifully transparent about how his cancer taught him the value of interdependence.

SHOW NOTES:
Co-host: Matt May, son of co-host Robin and two-time cancer survivor. Matt holds an English degree from Truman State University and is currently pursuing a Masters of Education degree. For more on Matt's story, visit www.RobinMayMinistries.com. or on Facebook.

Conversation based on Chapter 4 of the book None Like Him: 10 Ways God is Different From Us (and why That's a Good Thing) by Jen Wilkin
7:00 Is independence the same as self-sufficiency? How are they connected?
9:00 God needs nothing from us. Why is this a good thing?
13:30 Listen here for the connection between asking for help and experiencing whole living.
18:30 Are you making this life-giving activity a priority in your life?
23:00 Matt admits he didn't want everyone to know he was a cancer survivor and this is why.
25:00 The lie the world tells us about doing life alone.
30:00 Each one of us have this special thing. Are you curious enough to find it and learn from it?
31:30 Do you find yourself consistently anxious and overwhelmed? Listen here for important, practical wisdom about how to overcome it.
34:00 Listen here for why Matt calls his cancer a "saving grace."
38:00 Are you waking up and asking God this question?
41:00 Matt hasn't ever been angry about getting cancer. But he was angry with God about this thing and the experience changed him to see "I am not on my own in my pain."
46:00 How is Matt's health as he's passing his four-year cancer anniversary?

Why is it that we are so haunted by our past? We spend hours awake at night, replaying situations in our life that we wish we could take back, change or forget altogether.
These traumatic experiences leave us feeling broken, alone, and full of shame.
But what if you could learn proven ways to make peace with the hard parts of your past?
In this episode, you will learn:

• Why it's so difficult to make peace with your past
• How your brain is wired to remember traumatic experiences
• The difference between traumatic vs. painful experiences
• Solutions to "digest" the hard situations you've gone through, not "get over" them.
• How to know if therapy is a good solution for you.
• Alternatives to therapy (at zero cost!)
• Generational traumas, should we blame our traumas on our parents?
• How perfectionism shows up in trauma situations
• How to talk to yourself in order to cope with traumatic, or painful circumstances...

and so. much. more! Trust us, you'll want to take notes for this one! The bottom line, there is hope for you. It is possible to live a life freed from the hauntings of your past.
All about Our Guest:
Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a former New Yorker who now calls Kansas City home. She is a speaker, teacher, and trauma therapist who specializes in the physiology of mental health. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her master’s from the University of Kansas. She is certified in Somatic Experiencing, which is a post-graduate specialization that addresses the central nervous system’s impact on mood and wellness. Her experience includes work as a primary therapist at an Arizona-based drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist for a children’s psychiatric hospital, and she currently has a private practice in Overland Park. She’s also an award-winning adjunct professor at the University of Kansas and will be launching her first book The Science of Stuck in Spring 2022.
Connect with Britt at https://www.thegreenhousekc.com/
Britt's Instagram: @brittfrank

Best-selling author and leadership influencer John C. Maxwell once wrote, "Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you." If Maxwell is right, then our career decisions have massive implications for our future.
But how do we know when it's time to pursue a new job opportunity? How do we position ourselves for advancement? Negotiate a salary? Leverage our worth? How do we land our dream job or does one even exist?
In this episode, Career Consultant Maria Grasso joins us and shares her expertise, answering all these questions and more. The career mentor you've always wished you could have, Maria is yours for this empowering hour chocked full of advice that can help shape your future.
Special Guest: Maria Grasso
Maria is a Senior Career Transition Consultant with more than 25 years of leadership and organizational development experience to her role at Keystone Partners. She advises executives, managers, and individual contributors in career transition, helping clients successfully transition into new career opportunities.
Maria’s background includes senior management positions with Fidelity Investments, Engility (formerly Dynamics Research Corporation), Capgemini (formerly Capgemini Ernst & Young/Gemini Consulting) and consulting engagements in the financial services, technology, healthcare, professional services, hospitality, and biopharmaceutical sectors.
She is a certified Career Partners International Senior Career Transition Consultant and holds an MEd in Leadership and Organizational Development from the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
SHOW NOTES:
4:00 Maria is a life-long New England Patriots fan but her take on the recent Super Bowl might surprise you.
11:15 Ninety percent of job offers start with this one activity. Are you doing it?
14:00 Many of us find ourselves feeling like we're in dead end jobs that will be the death of our careers. If this is you, here's how you can control the situation.
19:00 Feeling like we are "not enough" wears many disguises in the workplace and some of these will surprise you.
20:45 This is THE NUMBER ONE predictor of success in the workforce. Are you poised for success?
23:00 "Make a choice and own it." Listen here to understand what Maria means by this and how this can help you.
27:00 Are women the only ones who feel like they aren't enough in their careers?
31:20 Do you have someone in your life who is struggling with career transitions? Want to help him/her? This is where to start. It sounds easy but it is anything but.
37:30 What is giving you cause to pause? Are you more committed to allowing space for that voice or what you thought your life and career should look like?
47:00 "Our net value is directly tied to our net worth." Listen here as Maria unpacks how our self-esteem is connected to our paychecks.
51:30 What is your personal brand and what are you worth on the open market?
59:30 What is the hidden job market and do you know how to tap into it for your benefit?
63:00 Most of us are missing the boat on this key thing when we network.
69:30 "HELP. My employer keeps asking me to do more and more. What do I do now?"
Resources:
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury
Power vs. Force, The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior by David R. Hawkins, MD
Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You're Worth by Mika Brzezinski

School days are upon us. The backpacks have been purchased and stocked. Lunch boxes have been prepared and a new pair of shoes await by the door. Hopefully, we’ve done everything we can to ensure a successful start to the school year.

It can feel daunting to send our children out into the world without our guidance. We may have provided them with all the material tools, but what about instilling confidence and self-esteem? Can they handle feedback, correction, and consequences?

Research on parenting styles is extensive. Although there may not be a “perfect” parenting style, there are certainly styles that encourage and some that diminish. Please join us as we discuss various parenting styles - what works and what doesn’t.
Show Notes and References:
Parenting Teens with Love and Logic, Preparing Teens for Responsible Adulthood by Foster Cline, MD & Jim Fay

Parenting Styles: What Parenting Style is Right for You?

https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/parenting/what-parenting-style-is-right-for-you

Lawnmower Parents: What are They? www.WebMD

Lawnmower Parents: Definition

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/lawnmower-parent