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The Problem With Perfect

The Problem With Perfect

Robin May and Denise Bickel

If perfection is an illusion, why are so many of us chasing it? We live in a world that is constantly telling us we need to be it all and have it all to be worthy. It leads us to hide our imperfections and overcompensate our strengths - and leaves us exhausted. Join hosts Robin May and Denise Bickel for meaningful, cross-generational conversations that will leave you uplifted and encouraged about a future freed from the problem with perfect.
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Top 10 The Problem With Perfect Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best The Problem With Perfect episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to The Problem With Perfect for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite The Problem With Perfect episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

The Problem With Perfect - Caring for Caregivers With Lauren Eisleben
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04/09/24 • 47 min

Of the many roles women undertake in their lifetime, the act of caregiving stands out as one of the most universal and demanding. The Institute on Aging reports that women make up roughly 75% of caregivers and typically dedicate up to 50% more time to caregiving duties compared to their male counterparts. It appears that being a woman—whether you're a daughter, daughter-in-law, distant relative, or simply a friend—often means taking on the responsibilities of caregiving with family and friends.
Caregiving comes with a host of challenging effects. Absorbing the financial costs associated with caregiving is often problematic. Time away from work for medical appointments, along with the expenses associated with medications, necessary medical equipment, and the hiring of supplementary private care to alleviate the primary caregiver's duties, can be financially overwhelming. Beyond the monetary impacts, caregiving can also lead to severe emotional and physical fatigue. And as the baby boomer population prefers to age in their own homes, the demand for more comprehensive aid and support from caregivers escalates.
Join us as we welcome Lauren Eisleben, Clinical Director at IMF Counseling. Lauren brings her extensive experience as a Licensed Professional Counselor to the “Family and Friends Groups” aimed at supporting caregivers. With her specialized knowledge in aiding those who care for individuals with chronic illnesses, mental health issues, substance use, and eating disorders, Lauren provides invaluable guidance. Her compassionate approach not only recognizes the challenges caregivers face, but she also offers empathetic, constructive advice to caregivers and those who support them.
Show notes:
To learn more about Lauren Eisleben, go to: https://imfcounseling.com/therapists/lauren-eisleben
Caregiver Support Groups: https://caringbridge.org/resources/caregiver-support-groups
The Emotional Cost of Caregiving: https://online.simmons.edu/blog/emotional-cost-of-caregiving
Caregiver Bill of Rights: https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregivers-bill-rights
Caregiving Is Crucial: How To Support Caregivers And Why It Matters So Much:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/08/14/caregiving-is-crucial-how-to-support-

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Ever considered the unforeseen consequences of putting off estate planning? Let's face it, it's not just about drafting a document – it's about ensuring your legacy thrives and your wishes are honored. Advance care planning extends beyond creating an Advance Directive or discussing our end-of-life wishes. It encompasses crucial legal and financial considerations that play a significant role in ensuring that all of a person's preferences are fully honored.
Discussing finances and assets can often be a taboo subject within families. The legal jargon can be intimidating, and the thought of consulting a lawyer can be unsettling. However, it's crucial to explore questions like: Should you draft a Will or establish a Trust? Who have you entrusted as your Durable Power of Attorney? What does the term "Medicaid spenddown" imply?
In this discussion on Estate Planning, we'll be diving into these topics with the expertise of attorney Brett Barton at our side. Our conversation illuminates the pitfalls of deferring this essential life task and provides a compelling call to action to take control of your estate planning journey before it's too late.

As part of our ongoing series, "What To Know Before You Go," we invite you to delve into the intricacies of Estate Planning with us. Just like completing an Advance Directive, preparing for your estate is more than a mere task; it's a gift that provides peace of mind and eases the burden for your loved ones.

Special Guest: Brett Barton

Brett is licensed to practice law in Missouri and Iowa and practices solely in the area of Estate Planning and all that it encompasses. Brett has over 25 years of experience and is a frequent speaker on the topic of Medicaid Planning and the protection of assets from nursing home spenddown. Brett is married and has four children, one grandchild, and another on the way. His hobbies include snow skiing, table tennis, and European board games.

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The Problem With Perfect - Defining Masculinity With Therapist Eli Weinstein
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06/29/21 • 56 min

How do we define masculinity? In this episode, we will do a deep dive into what it means to be "manly," why it's stereotypically harder for men to open up and be vulnerable with other men, and how to leave toxic masculinity in the dust.
The Cliff notes
(07:04) How do you define trauma?

(07:56) The difference between small t trauma and big t trauma

(11:00) How trauma impacts your day-to-day life.

(15:55) How do you define masculinity?

(32:22) How men can have deeper conversations with other men

(35:09) Masculinity and porn

(39:20) Can masculinity be on a spectrum?

(42:52) How can women help men be more vulnerable

All About Eli
Eli is a Social Work therapist (LCSW )who has worked in a psych hospital, intense outpatient clinic and currently works in a group and private practice in queens.

He created ELIvation and became a therapist to fill a need and create a modern outlook on mental health to create a more digestible and relatable view on mental health to help those in struggling times and add some extra inspiration and motivation into everyday life.

Eli has been featured on Kelly Clarkson show, IVF Warrior, Fruitful, Breaking Taboo and on multiple podcasts ranging from parenting, relationships, mental health, and infertility.

His main goal is to help people on their journey to add support, care, empathy, expertise, and insight.

He runs events, seminars, and individual coaching on topics from mental health awareness, public speaking coaching, relationship coaching, and confidence-boosting.
Follow Eli on Instagram at @eliweinstein_lcsw and @thedudetherapist

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The Problem With Perfect - Are You Really Happy? Here's How to Tell...
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06/01/21 • 38 min

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The Declaration of Independence says these are three examples of unalienable rights given to each of us by our Creator.
So, what does it mean to pursue happiness? And how do you know when you've achieved it? How do you know if and when you're happy?
It's a simple question that's not so simple to answer. Maybe that's why the internet is full of posts like these:
Six Ways to be Happy
Seven Happiness Boosters
Eight Happy Nutrients
Nine Tips to Feel Happy
Top 80 Happiness Podcasts to Follow in 2021
In this episode, we ask ourselves this meaningful question, as well as explore how to know if you're happy and how to become happier. Join us for this personal and transparent conversation and in doing so, hopefully you'll become... happier!
Show Notes
2:00 Back together and live from the loft, Rachel talks about a new life change she's experiencing.
4:45 Ever wonder how we come up with podcast topics? Listen here for the behind the scenes WHY for this episode.
8:30 How do you define happiness?
12:00 Are we as Christians blowing off the happy question and not taking it seriously for our own well-being and for the benefit of those around us?
15:00 Still trying to decide whether or not you're happy? Take the quiz we took and let is spur your thinking.
https://www.oprah.com/spirit/take-the-happiness-test-quiz_1
17:00 Do you find the joy in the journey or do you play the IF, THEN happiness game?
20:00 Listen here to hear how Rachel sees the definition of happiness evolving as life unfolds.
23:00 Are you waiting for MORE and BETTER to be happy? If you made a list of what you need to be happy, would it look like ours?
28:45 Listen here for Robin's suggestion for the one activity that would make us all happier.
30:00 To learn more about the Authentic Happiness Theory, go to https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/martin-seligman-psychology/.
36:00 Are you being transformed by this one thing every day?

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The Problem With Perfect - Should Christians Be Self Sufficient? With Guest Co-Host Matt May
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03/09/21 • 47 min

As believers, we know we are created in God’s likeness and as such are called to reflect his image. But that isn’t always what we really want to do, is it?
Unlike Jesus, we struggle to forgive and extend grace. We aren't curious to go have a meal with someone different than us. We don’t want to be selfless and our work to go unnoticed and we don’t like it when our love for others to come with a cost.

Instead - since we are being honest with ourselves - we simply want to be God. We want to be the one in control and not need anyone or anything.

Matt May joins Robin on this episode and we explore the ways this desire for self sufficiency shows up in our lives and in doing so, how it actually keeps us from experiencing the joy of relationship with God and those around us. As always, Matt’s insight is profound and he’s beautifully transparent about how his cancer taught him the value of interdependence.

SHOW NOTES:
Co-host: Matt May, son of co-host Robin and two-time cancer survivor. Matt holds an English degree from Truman State University and is currently pursuing a Masters of Education degree. For more on Matt's story, visit www.RobinMayMinistries.com. or on Facebook.

Conversation based on Chapter 4 of the book None Like Him: 10 Ways God is Different From Us (and why That's a Good Thing) by Jen Wilkin
7:00 Is independence the same as self-sufficiency? How are they connected?
9:00 God needs nothing from us. Why is this a good thing?
13:30 Listen here for the connection between asking for help and experiencing whole living.
18:30 Are you making this life-giving activity a priority in your life?
23:00 Matt admits he didn't want everyone to know he was a cancer survivor and this is why.
25:00 The lie the world tells us about doing life alone.
30:00 Each one of us have this special thing. Are you curious enough to find it and learn from it?
31:30 Do you find yourself consistently anxious and overwhelmed? Listen here for important, practical wisdom about how to overcome it.
34:00 Listen here for why Matt calls his cancer a "saving grace."
38:00 Are you waking up and asking God this question?
41:00 Matt hasn't ever been angry about getting cancer. But he was angry with God about this thing and the experience changed him to see "I am not on my own in my pain."
46:00 How is Matt's health as he's passing his four-year cancer anniversary?

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The Problem With Perfect - How to Make Peace With Your Past with Psychotherapist Britt Frank
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02/23/21 • 54 min

Why is it that we are so haunted by our past? We spend hours awake at night, replaying situations in our life that we wish we could take back, change or forget altogether.
These traumatic experiences leave us feeling broken, alone, and full of shame.
But what if you could learn proven ways to make peace with the hard parts of your past?
In this episode, you will learn:

  • Why it's so difficult to make peace with your past
  • How your brain is wired to remember traumatic experiences
  • The difference between traumatic vs. painful experiences
  • Solutions to "digest" the hard situations you've gone through, not "get over" them.
  • How to know if therapy is a good solution for you.
  • Alternatives to therapy (at zero cost!)
  • Generational traumas, should we blame our traumas on our parents?
  • How perfectionism shows up in trauma situations
  • How to talk to yourself in order to cope with traumatic, or painful circumstances...

and so. much. more! Trust us, you'll want to take notes for this one! The bottom line, there is hope for you. It is possible to live a life freed from the hauntings of your past.
All about Our Guest:
Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a former New Yorker who now calls Kansas City home. She is a speaker, teacher, and trauma therapist who specializes in the physiology of mental health. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her master’s from the University of Kansas. She is certified in Somatic Experiencing, which is a post-graduate specialization that addresses the central nervous system’s impact on mood and wellness. Her experience includes work as a primary therapist at an Arizona-based drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist for a children’s psychiatric hospital, and she currently has a private practice in Overland Park. She’s also an award-winning adjunct professor at the University of Kansas and will be launching her first book The Science of Stuck in Spring 2022.
Connect with Britt at https://www.thegreenhousekc.com/
Britt's Instagram: @brittfrank

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The Problem With Perfect - Answering Your Burning Career Questions
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02/16/21 • 75 min

Best-selling author and leadership influencer John C. Maxwell once wrote, "Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you." If Maxwell is right, then our career decisions have massive implications for our future.
But how do we know when it's time to pursue a new job opportunity? How do we position ourselves for advancement? Negotiate a salary? Leverage our worth? How do we land our dream job or does one even exist?
In this episode, Career Consultant Maria Grasso joins us and shares her expertise, answering all these questions and more. The career mentor you've always wished you could have, Maria is yours for this empowering hour chocked full of advice that can help shape your future.
Special Guest: Maria Grasso
Maria is a Senior Career Transition Consultant with more than 25 years of leadership and organizational development experience to her role at Keystone Partners. She advises executives, managers, and individual contributors in career transition, helping clients successfully transition into new career opportunities.
Maria’s background includes senior management positions with Fidelity Investments, Engility (formerly Dynamics Research Corporation), Capgemini (formerly Capgemini Ernst & Young/Gemini Consulting) and consulting engagements in the financial services, technology, healthcare, professional services, hospitality, and biopharmaceutical sectors.
She is a certified Career Partners International Senior Career Transition Consultant and holds an MEd in Leadership and Organizational Development from the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
SHOW NOTES:
4:00 Maria is a life-long New England Patriots fan but her take on the recent Super Bowl might surprise you.
11:15 Ninety percent of job offers start with this one activity. Are you doing it?
14:00 Many of us find ourselves feeling like we're in dead end jobs that will be the death of our careers. If this is you, here's how you can control the situation.
19:00 Feeling like we are "not enough" wears many disguises in the workplace and some of these will surprise you.
20:45 This is THE NUMBER ONE predictor of success in the workforce. Are you poised for success?
23:00 "Make a choice and own it." Listen here to understand what Maria means by this and how this can help you.
27:00 Are women the only ones who feel like they aren't enough in their careers?
31:20 Do you have someone in your life who is struggling with career transitions? Want to help him/her? This is where to start. It sounds easy but it is anything but.
37:30 What is giving you cause to pause? Are you more committed to allowing space for that voice or what you thought your life and career should look like?
47:00 "Our net value is directly tied to our net worth." Listen here as Maria unpacks how our self-esteem is connected to our paychecks.
51:30 What is your personal brand and what are you worth on the open market?
59:30 What is the hidden job market and do you know how to tap into it for your benefit?
63:00 Most of us are missing the boat on this key thing when we network.
69:30 "HELP. My employer keeps asking me to do more and more. What do I do now?"
Resources:
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury
Power vs. Force, The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior by David R. Hawkins, MD
Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You're Worth by Mika Brzezinski

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The Problem With Perfect - How Fred Parry’s Faith Can Impact Yours
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02/28/23 • 52 min

Fred Parry enjoys being a man-about-town. As such, a lot of people think they know him. I often beg to differ.
Fred was one of my first bosses. In a city filled with journalists, he gave me my “big break” and believed in me when I wasn’t sure I believed in myself. His faith in me changed my life and faith in God changed his.
Join us for this episode as I pull back the curtain and get personal about Fred’s faith, battling his demons and how everyone can benefit from men having deeper, more accountable relationships.
And to get $25 off a ticket to the COMO Men’s Conference, go to www. COMOchristian.com and use ROBINMAY as discount code.
Special Guest: Fred Parry

Fred Parry is a Christian writer dedicated to helping men understand how a personal relationship with Christ can transform their lives while empowering them to develop more meaningful and fulfilling relationships with God, their families and other men. Parry is a former County Commissioner in Missouri and Publisher Emeritus for a group of magazines based in Columbia, Mo.

Parry is a native of Liberty, Mo., and a 1986 graduate of the University of Missouri. He began his career working for newspapers in Chicago, Washington, D.C., and Pittsburgh, Penn. He is a former member of the advertising faculty at the Missouri School of Journalism. He worked as an advertising executive for the Gannett newspaper chain before he and his wife started their own publishing company in 1994.

Fred has now spent more than 30 years in the publishing industry. He is the founding publisher of more than 15 magazines. In addition to his publishing career, Fred spent nearly 8 years as a daily radio talk show host and three years doing weekly commentaries for a local CBS Television affiliate.

Parry has written and published five Christian men’s devotionals, Walking With James: Becoming The Man God Intends You To Be, Walking With Ephesians and Walking With Matthew (Illumify Global Media) Walking with Romans and Walking With Thessalonians (Carriage House Publishers).

Parry is the founder of the annual CoMo Christian Men’s Conference which has attracted the nation’s leading pastors (Tim Tebow, Matt Chandler, Craig Groeschel, Lee Strobel, Todd Wagner, Robert Lewis, etc) to Columbia, Mo. over the last nine years. He also leads a weekly Bible study for 30 businessmen on Friday mornings.

Fred has been married to his wife, Melody for 30 years. Together, they have two grown sons, Max and Nick.

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Dr, Merry Lin says that the cultural clarion call to be your authentic self isn’t inherently wrong. The methodology is. While the popular world will tell you to
“live your truth” and “trust your gut,” she argues that neither strategy brings you into
contact with your essential, God-given identity.
In this episode, Dr. Lin, author of Rebecoming: Coming Out of Hiding to Live as Your God-Given Essential Self (Baker Books, July 2024) discusses the hard-won, honest
truths of how we can live authentically. Blending her personal growth journey, psychological training, and clinical experience, she explains why we must first unbecome our inauthentic self to rebecome our essential self.
Dr. Lin's wisdom offers hope for a better way of living, helping to become the person God intended.
Special Guest:
Dr. Merry C. Lin, PhD has been practicing clinical psychology for more than 30 years. She is the executive director of Dr. Lin & Associates, a team providing psychotherapy, coaching, and consulting services in Toronto, Canada. A wise counselor and respected speaker, she can be heard on her popular podcast, The Fully Lived Life, as well as on several TV and media shows where she is a regular guest. In addition to providing support to leaders, she is a social justice advocate working globally to equip leaders who serve survivors of human trafficking, abuse, and trauma.
To learn more about Dr. Merry's work, go to:
https://www.drmerry.com/

To order Rebecoming with the discount we discuss in the episodes, go to:
https://bakerbookhouse.com/products/553598,

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Wondering what PMDD is after reading the title? You're likely in good company. Although Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) affects between 3 and 4 million women in the US, it is still a relatively unknown disorder that is often misdiagnosed.
To help us understand what PMDD is and how it impacts women and their families, Marybeth Bohn joins Robin for this important episode. Marybeth's daughter, Christina, battled PMDD for more than a decade before Marybeth helped lead doctors to her diagnosis. This episode gives listeners a front-row seat to a young woman's struggle and a mother's worst nightmare.
Special Guest:
Marybeth Bohn has been advocating for PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) since she lost her daughter, Christina Elizabeth Bohn, to suicide in 2021 due to the disorder. The thought of others suffering as her daughter did for 10 to 15 years before receiving a correct diagnosis motivates Marybeth to keep speaking out. She speaks publicly about PMDD to increase awareness and to reduce the time in getting an accurate diagnosis. She has spoken at the University of Missouri, Postpartum Support International Climb Out of the Darkness Walk, Missouri House of Representatives Committee on Healthcare Reform, Women’s Mental Health Conference at Yale, NIH Prevention in Focus Webinar, and many other venues. In 2023, she worked with the Missouri State Legislature to pass a bill for having an annual PMDD Awareness Day on October 2nd, which is Christina’s birthday. Missouri is the first state in the U.S. to officially have a PMDD Awareness Day.

Marybeth serves as vice president of the Board of Directors for the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD) and has actively served as a PMDD Champion. After Christina's death, Marybeth retired from the University of Missouri to focus on increasing awareness of PMDD.
To learn more about PMDD, go to the presentation Marybeth mentions in the show:
https://www.prevention.nih.gov/education-training/prevention-focus-webinars/it-more-pms-learn-about-pmdd

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FAQ

How many episodes does The Problem With Perfect have?

The Problem With Perfect currently has 292 episodes available.

What topics does The Problem With Perfect cover?

The podcast is about Body Image, Health & Fitness, Christianity, Success, Career, Mental Health, Joy, Religion & Spirituality, Family, Podcasts and Freedom.

What is the most popular episode on The Problem With Perfect?

The episode title 'Why is "Gray Divorce" On The Rise And Is Your Marriage At Risk?' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on The Problem With Perfect?

The average episode length on The Problem With Perfect is 40 minutes.

How often are episodes of The Problem With Perfect released?

Episodes of The Problem With Perfect are typically released every 7 days.

When was the first episode of The Problem With Perfect?

The first episode of The Problem With Perfect was released on Sep 30, 2019.

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