Episode 47: Claudia And The Middle School Mystery

Explicit content warning

01/11/23 • 133 min

OMG, Claudia got an A on a test and now everyone thinks she cheated! Well, by ‘everyone’ we mean her teacher, her parents, and Mary Anne, who is just the WORST in this one. Meanwhile, the Pikes are trapped in a hell of their own making, and we’re trapped in a hell of Jared Mullray’s making.

On today’s agenda: a bijou spreader event; public sector trophy wives; we all temporarily forget what a kaiju actually is; defeating the far-right with Aoife’s face; baseballery gone wrong; taco-based interrogation techniques; foam-football-based intimidation techniques; ill-considered neurolinguistic programming techniques; the Traumatic Jägermeister Incident; wildly implausible locker backstories; adorable baby noises from the junior podcaster; appropriate uses of gaslighting; everyone’s doing Crimewatch; extrusion processes all the way down; heterosexual loser talk.

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

Previous Episode

Episode 46: Poor Mallory!

OMG, Mallory’s dad lost his job! The family makes minor economies for two weeks, he becomes a degenerate in casual clothes for a day or two, and then everything is fine again and they don’t even have to sell their ten-seater boat. PHEW. Meanwhile, Amanda Delaney has tragic wealth-related problems, and we are joined by a taciturn but lovable guest.

On today’s agenda: Aoife pulls off the ultimate BSC tribute; the text is compromised and we are not OK; Santa brings a depressing surprise; preteen murder ballads; workplace lingerie giveaways; intersectional school bullies; Mallory tries valiantly to make dibble happen; cinnamon allergy beauty hacks; the Drag Race to Tumblr slang pipeline; Mrs Pike becomes a big deal on Arpanet; a delicious limp salad; the Delaneys are too fancy for water safety; the true meaning of silly-billy-goo-goo; someone or other is a gobshite; Angie the tiny Olympian; the terrifying spectre of househusbandry; pizzaburger economics; eating oysters like a Homo Habilis; wish fulfilment monologues; Aunt Cecelia hits the mall.

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show, tell a friend, rate and review on your podcast app of choice, and come say hi on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or Instagram! We also have a ko-fi and we're real self-conscious about it!

Next Episode

Episode 48: Mary Anne vs. Logan

OMG, Logan suuuuucks! He’s suddenly performing traditional masculinity and nobody is here for it, except for his hot cousin Olivia. Jenny Prezzioso is in a bad mood. We have a lot of opinions about mashed potatoes.

On today’s agenda: a basket of cold tongue; Babysitters’ Agency bullshit; Mary Anne gets hygge-blocked; the babysitters try to make “acute” happen; the incredible forbearance of the Bruno family; #notallBrontës; Karen Brewer’s marital woes; five nights that shattered a nation; the podcast at our dads’ house; a tragic tuba mishap; Kristy kills the vibe and we cherish her for it; things you should not do to a pregnant woman; five pounds of romance; we figure out whose fault this all is.

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley & "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.