
The Once And Future Nerd
Glass & Madera


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The Prince of Iorden, Pt. 1
The Once And Future Nerd
09/18/13 • 22 min
When three high school students from modern-day Pennsylvania find themselves trapped in a world of wizards, elves, and feudal intrigue, they must learn to survive in their new surroundings, and undertake an epic quest to save the world from the encroaching forces of chaos.
WARNING: This show contains adult language, graphic descriptions of violence, and explicit discussions of sexuality. This is, of course, in the interest of historical realism. We hope you enjoy our story about wizards and elves.
THE ONCE AND FUTURE NERD updates on the second and fourth Sunday of every month.


4 Listeners

The Prince of Iorden, Pt. 2
The Once And Future Nerd
09/19/13 • 17 min
Part 2 of our 3-part series premiere...
When three high school students from modern-day Pennsylvania find themselves trapped in a world of wizards, elves, and feudal intrigue, they must learn to survive in their new surroundings, and undertake an epic quest to save the world from the encroaching forces of chaos.
WARNING: This show contains adult language, graphic descriptions of violence, and explicit discussions of sexuality. This is, of course, in the interest of historical realism. We hope you enjoy our story about wizards and elves.
1 Listener

Feed Drop for Charity! MARS’ BEST BRISKET
The Once And Future Nerd
09/20/20 • 3 min
A few of our buds from around the Audio Fiction world have created a limited-run Audio Comedy Series for charity. They’ll be putting episodes out this coming week to raise money for Lovin’ Spoonfuls, a food rescue in Massachusetts.
We’ve dropped their trailer in your feed today. You can visit marsbestbrisket.com to listen to the show, and marsbestcharity.com to donate!
The full transcript of this announcement is available here.

#Ask The Once And Future Nerd for Bk. 2, Ch. 9
The Once And Future Nerd
07/09/23 • 76 min
Today’s bonus content is the #AskTOAFN listener Q&A for Book 2, Chapter 9. Christian, Dan, Anya and Greg answer a few questions related to the chapter...and then mostly relitigate Tumblr’s “Sexiest Once And Future Nerd Character” poll.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
- Due to a (very literal) expansion in the TOAFN family, there will be a longer than usual break between Chapters 9 and 10. Our Patreon will be paused until we have something to release. Stay tuned to our socials for official announcements.
(The transcript for the conversation can be found here, and the transcript for our announcements can be found here.)
Thank you as always for listening!

Minisodes 005-006
The Once And Future Nerd
05/15/22 • 17 min
We’re back with some scripted minisodes today, for this between-chapters month.
“On The Origin Of A Song”
by Paul Notice and Christian T. Kelley-Madera
Performed by:
Paul Notice – Matronson
Matthew K. Addison – Younger Man
Gregory M. Schulz – Rival Merchant
Christian T. Kelley-Madera – Elf Guard
(Script)
CONTENT NOTES: Contains depictions of racist state violence
“A Holiday Dinner”
by Dirk Hampton
Performed by:
Anya Gibian – Molly Bailey, Minnie Bailey, Mona Bailey, Maeve Bailey
(Script)
Editing for Minisodes 005 and 006 by BriElle Achterhof
Foley, Sound Design, and Post-Production Mixing by Matthew Boudreau
Associate Producers: Susan Degan and Alec Story
Announcements:
- This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp – Affordable, private therapy. Anytime, anywhere. Visit betterhelp.com/toafn to get 10% off your first month
- This podcast is also sponsored by Tab for a Cause – a free browser extension that helps you raise money for charity. Join our team at tabforacause.org/toafn
- As always, The Once And Future Nerd is made possible by our Patrons on Patreon. We hope you consider joining!
- No affiliation, but visit donations4abortion.com to find an abortion fund you can support in all 50 states, Guam, and Puerto Rico
Thank you for listening! We’ll be posting the audio from our recent #AskTOAFN livestream on May 29, and then we’ll be back with the premiere of Book 2, Chapter 8 on June 26.
(The transcript for our announcements can be found here.)

I’ve Been Working On The Whale-Road, Pt. 3
The Once And Future Nerd
06/03/18 • 29 min
The Party is in for yet another of their many culture shocks as they make their way aboard Ren’s notorious Red Reaver (except for Regan of course). Billy questions his role in the group, and Arlene levels up the vital bardic skill “read the damn room.” Meanwhile, Bryce Riverfell proves far less cooperative than Ry’y lo-Th’yyt expected. And new pressures threaten the delicate agreement between Regan and Ren.
The script for this episode can be downloaded here.
The thrilling conclusion of this chapter will be released on June 17. We I’hope you’ll join us then!
If you enjoyed the (almost entirely improvised) performance of our pirate crew, you can see Night Captain perform live at the PIT Striker on June 28 (Tickets). If you enjoyed the complex and multi-layered sound production, you can thank Jared Paul for recording it and Oliver Morris for mixing it. Oliver produces his own horror-noir podcast called KANE AND FEELS: PARANORMAL INVESTIGATORS.
CONTENT NOTES for this episode, including an inevitable MAJOR SPOILER, below.
CONTENT NOTES:
- From 03:23-03:28 there are vomit noises.
- From 19:55-20:06 (Script Pg. 53) someone with a pre-modern vocabulary says “sex” where ‘gender’ would be more appropriate in a modern context.
- From 24:07-24:48 (Script Pg. 57), there is a depiction of a gruesome suicide, committed to avoid torture.
End of listed CONTENT NOTES.

Darkness on the Edge of Town, Pt. 3
The Once And Future Nerd
05/24/15 • 11 min
CONTENT NOTE: This episode depicts a physically and emotionally abusive domestic situation from the beginning until the 4:15 timestamp. Please use your discretion in listening.
In Billy’s vision, the young man must contend with his father’s harmful expectations. Will he escape with his mind and soul intact?
Our next episode will be released on June 7. In the meantime, be sure to head over to our discussion forum to discuss all that’s transpired so far.

2018 Scheduling Announcement
The Once And Future Nerd
04/08/18 • 2 min
Some scheduling announcements for our upcoming episodes.
Book 2 Chapter 4 premieres on May 6, 2018. We’ll see you then!

Audio Bonus Content #10 - How We Made The Singing Sister
The Once And Future Nerd
07/17/16 • 14 min
Remember the song that Arlene sang to Gwen back in Chapter 6 and again in Chapter 9? We know at least some of you do, because you wrote in to tell us how much you loved it, and to ask whether it was available as a standalone track.
Well...it is now! We re-recorded it with a new arrangement and live instruments. Head over to onceandfuturenerd.bandcamp.com to purchase it for $1 (or more if you’d like to be very kind. Patreon subscribers, check your Patreon feed for a coupon code to save 50¢.)
And for today’s bonus content, we talked to the talented folks involved for insight into making the song.
Keep reading for full credits and attributions.
“The Singing Sister”
Copyright © 2015 by Gibian, Glass & Madera
Lyrics by Zach Glass & Christian T. Madera, based on a traditional folk song
Music by Anya Gibian
This version arranged, orchestrated, and produced by Tom Lee.
Recorded and Edited by Justin Tricarico at Studio 302, Queens College, Queens, NY.
Performed by:
Anya Gibian – Vocals
Emily P. Dana – Harp, Violin, Viola
Simona Donova – Flute
Zach Glass – Trumpet
Tom Lee – Percussion programming
Kelsey Sheldon – Cello
Mixed by Chris Montalbo of The Last Alliance.
Executive Produced by Zach Glass & Christian T. Madera
The Making-Of Featurette:
This episode is heavily inspired by Song Exploder, which we highly recommend.
Music used:
“Cruel Sister” by Pentangle (Amazon | iTunes | Google Play | Spotify)
Main Title Theme from HOUSE OF CARDS by Jeff Beal (Amazon | iTunes | Google Play | Spotify)

A Cruel And Sullied World, Pt. 4
The Once And Future Nerd
04/23/17 • 26 min
It’s the dramatic conclusion of Book 2, Chapter 1. At the Horse’s Head Inn, Arlene and Gwen Anna and Gayle reluctantly make plans regarding their newfound ward. In an ice cave in the south seas, Renault the “nice” necromancer meets a legendary warrior from an age nearly forgotten. And back near Freehold, a newly (and just barely) conscious Regan divulges what she saw in the western forest.
The script for this episode can be downloaded here.
We’ll be taking our customary micro-break between chapters, but release dates for Book 2, Chapter 2 – entitled “What Used To Be Enough” – will be announced shortly. In the meantime, though, we’ll be answering listener questions on air! Read this post for full details on how to submit a question.
CONTENT NOTES below:
CONTENT NOTES:
- From 09:47-10:38 (on script pg. 63), bodily mutilation is played for laughs.
- From 15:00-16:25 (on script pgs. 68-69), the extreme violence from the end of Book 1 is verbally recounted.
- From 23:18-23:25 (on script pg. 75), a character threatens suicide in a way that is flippant and obviously insincere, and is dismissed just as flippantly.
End of listed CONTENT NOTES.
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FAQ
How many episodes does The Once And Future Nerd have?
The Once And Future Nerd currently has 144 episodes available.
What topics does The Once And Future Nerd cover?
The podcast is about Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Drama and Podcasts.
What is the most popular episode on The Once And Future Nerd?
The episode title 'The Prince of Iorden, Pt. 1' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on The Once And Future Nerd?
The average episode length on The Once And Future Nerd is 28 minutes.
How often are episodes of The Once And Future Nerd released?
Episodes of The Once And Future Nerd are typically released every 14 days.
When was the first episode of The Once And Future Nerd?
The first episode of The Once And Future Nerd was released on Sep 18, 2013.
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