Mel Schilling author of The C* Word (Confidence)

04/12/23 • 37 min

I am joined for this episode by the fabulous Mel Schilling. Human behaviour and performance specialist and Married at First Sight relationship expert Mel Schilling talks to me about her new book The C* Word.

Mel draws on her 20-year background in psychology, with this empowering and practical guide to making friends with our fear, tackling imposter syndrome and building the skills of confidence to enhance every aspect of our lives.

Join us as we delve into:-

How can we rebuild our confidence in midlife.
Brain fog and hot flushes - two of the biggest reasons that so many of us lose our confidence. Mel openly shares her experience of both of these whilst filming live TV.
How humour can be a great asset in re-building confidence
Mel opens up about her own journey with brain fog and her decision to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to manage it.
We discuss coaching techniques that can help overcome brain fog, anxiety, and hot flushes, particularly when dealing with presentations or public speaking.
We explore self-worth in midlife and the feeling of invisibility that many of us experience during this phase of life.
Addressing negative self-talk and techniques to re-wire our brains and be kinder to ourselves.
Mel reveals how our body has an identical response to "I am scared" to "I am excited" and how to recognise these feelings and make them work to our advantage.
Midlife dating advice from the expert! Mel gives me her expert advice on navigating midlife dating - which apps to use, getting clear on dating goals, recognising 'red flags', and the difference between 'deal breakers' for a relationship vs personal preferences.
Are you dating un-cooked men too?!
Mel shares her own experience of online dating, where she met her husband.

Mel’s Book recommendation - Great Sex Starts at 50 by Tracey Cox.

Follow Mel on Instagram

Support the show

Learn more about me and my work at www.themerrymenopause.com
Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIN
Join my private Facebook group

Join us as we delve into:-

How can we rebuild our confidence in midlife.
Brain fog and hot flushes - two of the biggest reasons that so many of us lose our confidence. Mel openly shares her experience of both of these whilst filming live TV.
How humour can be a great asset in re-building confidence
Mel opens up about her own journey with brain fog and her decision to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to manage it.
We discuss coaching techniques that can help overcome brain fog, anxiety, and hot flushes, particularly when dealing with presentations or public speaking.
We explore self-worth in midlife and the feeling of invisibility that many of us experience during this phase of life.
Addressing negative self-talk and techniques to re-wire our brains and be kinder to ourselves.
Mel reveals how our body has an identical response to "I am scared" to "I am excited" and how to recognise these feelings and make them work to our advantage.
Midlife dating advice from the expert! Mel gives me her expert advice on navigating midlife dating - which apps to use, getting clear on dating goals, recognising 'red flags', and the difference between 'deal breakers' for a relationship vs personal preferences.
Are you dating un-cooked men too?!
Mel shares her own experience of online dating, where she met her husband.

Mel’s Book recommendation - Great Sex Starts at 50 by Tracey Cox.

Follow Mel on Instagram

Support the show

Learn more about me and my work at www.themerrymenopause.com
Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIN
Join my private Facebook group

Previous Episode

Kim Vopni author of Your Pelvic Floor

My guest for the final episode of S7 of the podcast is Kim Vopni aka @thevaginacoach. Kim is a speaker, women’s health educator, coach and Menopause support practitioner. She is also the author of the bestselling book Your Pelvic Floor which was The Merry Menopause Bookclub pick in February.

Menopause can bring several changes to the body, including pelvic health issues. Join us as we discuss:-

The Importance of Pelvic Floor Health: Kim emphasises the importance of pelvic floor health and how it's often overlooked until something goes wrong. She encourages women to take a proactive approach to their pelvic health by seeking education and treatment early on.
Signs of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: Kim explains common signs of pelvic floor dysfunction, including incontinence, prolapse, and pain. She stresses that these issues are treatable and encourages women to seek help from a pelvic floor physiotherapist.
The Link between Pelvic Health and Back Pain: Kim shares that 95% of women with lower back pain have a pelvic floor issue. She also shares her mother's journey with pelvic floor issues and how working with a physiotherapist at age 77 avoided surgery.
Strategies for Proactive Pelvic Health: Kim suggests three strategies for proactive pelvic health during menopause: seeking treatment from a pelvic floor physiotherapist, doing pelvic floor exercises, and training the pelvic floor to respond to movement rather than static positions.
Understanding Overactive Pelvic Floor: Kim explains that pelvic floor dysfunction can also result from an overactive pelvic floor, which can cause tightness rather than weakness. She notes that seeing a pelvic floor physiotherapist can help women understand the status of their pelvic floor and develop appropriate treatment plans.
Living a Pelvic-Centric Lifestyle: Kim provides practical tips for living a pelvic-centric lifestyle, including staying hydrated, avoiding bladder irritants, and understanding the importance of vaginal PH and its relationship to UTIs.

Kim’s Book Recommendation - Next Level by Stacy Sims.

You can find out more about Kim here

Wishing you a Merry Menopause

Support the show

Learn more about me and my work at www.themerrymenopause.com
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Next Episode

Kate Baily author of Love Your Sober Year

For this episode I am joined by Kate Baily co-founder of the Love Sober platform and author of 'Love Your Sober Year.'
Kate coaches women to feel empowered by their choice to stop drinking alcohol, harnessing their decision to go sober and pivot from surviving to thriving in all areas of their lives using a holistic approach to growth, mindset and wellbeing.
Join Kate and me as we talk about both of our sober journeys during Perimenopause including:-

Perimenopause and alcohol.
The important distinction between 'what looks normal' socially vs 'what feels normal' to us.
Alcohol and motherhood.
Alcohol as a coping tool.
The mental impact of alcohol.
How we build better lives and get rid of alcohol if it’s costing us more than money.
Why we need to be asking ourselves better questions so we can meet our own needs.
The comparison between alcohol today and valium in the 60s.
The stigmatism around women and alcohol, but not so much men and alcohol.
Judgement
The marketing behind alcohol, it’s not a coincidence, that next to the back-to-school promotion there will be a wine promotion.
Calling out social BS - to access our personal power, we need to call out the cultural narratives around us.
Calling out brain fog!
If you are struggling with alcohol you are not alone 25 billion people are also struggling with alcohol.
What is sober curious?
How the language around alcohol and addiction has changed
Getting in touch with our values is the groundwork for a different relationship with alcohol.

Kate’s book choice - If Women Rose Rooted, by Sharon Blackie
You can find out more about Kate here

Support the show

Learn more about me and my work at www.themerrymenopause.com
Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIN
Join my private Facebook group