The JOY Factor

Hello and welcome to episode #26. My guest today is Shari Scher, an inspiring woman who, while working in the public school system of Frederick County Maryland, saw that children of incarcerated parents and their families, needed help. Her efforts led to the formation Children of Incarcerated Parents Partnership or COIPP. This non-profit is dedicated to giving children affected by incarceration a voice in the community, in the schools and in their families.

Today’s show is brought to you by StoryWorth, a brilliant online service that helps your loved ones tell the story of their lives through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Sign up today by going to www.storyworth.com/joy You’ll get $20 off your first purchase!

They say that one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is to let them truly know you. In order to do this we have to give ourselves time to reflect, heal, give thanks and make meaning of our lives.

I don’t know about you but I can barely find time to make a healthy dinner let alone carve out quiet time to reflect on my life and legacy. That’s where Storyworth comes in. Each week, for a year, they send you a question about your life and at the end of the year you receive a beautiful hardbound book filled with your answers.

My first question was “What were your favorite childhood toys”. I hadn’t thought about my giant brown suitcase full of Barbies in years so It was fun to go down memory lane and write about one of my childhood joys. Answering the questions is as simple as hitting the reply button and I can’t wait to pass along a beautiful book to each of my children. Oh, and did I mention you can include photos in your book? Storyworth is genius and I think it should be at the top of everyone’s gift-giving list!

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When a child has a voice that is heard and validated they are more likely to be protected from adverse childhood experiences like the fear that accompanies having a parent arrested. Protective factors such as safe, stable and nurturing relationships can make all the difference when it comes to children becoming resilient and healthy adults. This is one of the many reasons why it’s so important to support and nurture every parent’s ability to grow, learn and develop positive parenting skills. Another aspect of COIPP that truly tends to the needs of these children is the social connections aspect of the programming. Having the opportunity to make friends and experience social and cultural events strengthens social and emotional health. When we are emotionally strong, feel supported by our community and have people who care, we can tap into our joy factor! All children deserve to be worry free and consistently offered opportunities to experience joy in their everyday lives. I hope this episode has inspired you and that you find a little joy in your day! Thanks for listening and take care!

What can the average person do to help children of incarcerated parents:

1. Be non-judgmental. Parents love their children.
2. Greet children with interest and joy. Kids have better radar have better radar than many grown-ups. It takes little time to look in a child’s eyes and say, How are you?
3. Help the caregiver of that child.
4. Respect the community from which they come and recognize that trauma impacts everyone.

Resources mentioned on the show:

Children of Incarcerated Parents Partnership COIPP

Girl Scouts Behind Bars

The National Resource Center on Children and Families of the Incarcerated

Annie E. Casey Foundation

Child Welfare

COIPP Community Partners

Curious Iguana

Dancing Bear Toys and Gifts

Thorpewood

Books

The Rabbit Listened by

The Dot

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Creating a Self-Care Map

When you hear the phrase “self-care”, what’s your first thought? what comes up for you? Just for a minute, notice your comfort level when the thought of taking care of yourself comes up. How do you define being good to yourself? What does it mean to you and when was the last time you thought about it? One thing is for certain, we can’t expand our capacity for a joyful life without having a lifestyle that is rooted in self-care.

So get comfortable and give yourself the time to listen to the show. We’re going to discuss a framework for starting a sustainable self-care practice and we’ll also be discussing 8 aspects of mind/body/spirit wellbeing. This will be more than enough information to help you create a personal map.

Also, just a reminder that only you know what’s best for you. No one can define what that looks like but I’m hoping you will explore what you need and imagine how you might begin to implement some simple shifts in your day to day routine. So grab some paper and something to write with and we’ll take it away!

To start, let’s frame Sustainable Self-Care with 3 guiding principles.

Start Small, Stay Steady and Keep it sane.

I’m going to invite you to Just let these words sink in. Let any competing thoughts pass by and, just allow yourself to consider how you might bring these concepts alive in your life.

Start Small.

Tiny steps are better than no steps at all. There's no need for grand plans just small, consistent actions. With the right preparation, these little shifts can be woven into your daily life with just a few moments of effort on your part. What would it be like to take the smallest step possible? Small self-care steps can start anywhere or anytime. A few examples might include pausing to look at the moon, singing your favorite song out loud or breathing a little more deeply. Consider reaching out to friends you’ve lost touch with. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Look around and see what else might be possible for you. Start small.

Be Steady

Having the kind of steady aim you need to move in your intended direction requires organization and commitment. The best organizational tool I have is a calendar. I still forget things but You know what is on there? Self-Care time. Non-negotiable. Not always perfect but consistent. We’re talking about a few minutes a day. So, put your name on the calendar and a reminder on your phone. Tell a friend you can trust what you’re up to. Better yet, share this episode with someone who would make a great accountability partner. Be open to whatever might represent a gentle nudge toward keeping your date with yourself a and strengthening a growing sense of commitment toward practices you can easily maintain. No self-care map is complete without time.

Finally, the 3rd guiding principal...Make it Sane.

Making it sane means there’s a built-in, natural blend of effort and ease from the start. Let’s unpack these two concepts of effort and ease.

Make effort means Thinking through your plan and being realistic about your goals. It also means considering what you’re willing to release from your life in order to make room for new habits. A final aspect of effort is being aware of how you support your efforts and how you sabotage yourself.

The other aspect of making it sane is ease. You don't have to do everything all at once. Ease is all about releasing, letting go and exploring your capacity to be flexible and open.

I think another aspect of Ease is also taking the time to enjoy the process by adding some special touches to your practice. Music, creating a nice space for self-care, having a sense of humor and anything else that allows you to show kindness to yourself are all important aspects of ease. So, when you think of effort and ease bookending the principal of making it sane, what does that look like to you?

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Hello and welcome to the JOY Factor Podcast episode number #24. My guest is Shane Birkel. Shane is a marriage and family therapist with a private practice just outside of Boston.He works primarily with couples and is a certified Relational Life Therapist with Terry Real as his mentor.

Couples Therapist Couch https://couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/. Shane hosts a weekly podcast called the Couples Therapist Couch the practice of Couples Therapy. Practice website: shanebirkel.com Podcast website: couplestherapistcouch.com

Many of the couples I see are seeking deeper intimacy and improved communication. Nothing can steal joy like an unfulfilling relationship but in order to feel satisfied and connected with our partner, we have to be connected to ourselves and have a sense of wholeness. Society’s definition of manhood forces men to make unconscious choices that often leave them disconnected from their capacity to be whole. The good news is that things can get better when men are given the opportunity to consciously learn the skills needed to engage and learn what true intimacy is. There are many ways to start but today we’re talking about strategies for helping men build healthier self-esteem and stronger relationships.

Topics Discussed:

1. What is toxic masculinity and why does it matter?

2. What is healthy masculinity?

3. Why is healthy self-esteem so important?

4. The power of the feedback wheel.

5. The power in vulnerability and connection.

Shane's motto for life: "There’s never any excuse for harshness."

Resources Mentioned:

Gillette Razor Commercial

Terry Real

This episode is brought to you by Care/Of. Take advantage of this month's special New Year offer! For 50 percent off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter "joyfactor50".

Hello and welcome to episode #23 of the Joy Factor Podcast.

Today’s guest is one of my favorite yoga teachers, Lori Love.

Lori loves to incorporate pranayama (breath work), play and alignment into all of her classes. A prana flow instructor for more 15 years, she is trained in the Shiva Rea lineage and earned her 500-hour yoga certification as an Ayurvedic Yoga Specialist through the New Mexico School of Yoga.

Lori also holds certifications in yin and restorative yoga. Additionally, she is a Power Pilates 600-hour apparatus-trained instructor. Lori has a personal training designation, too, and has been known to swing a kettlebell (not in yoga classes!).

Lori holds a Bachelor of Science degree in journalism and has worked in management, sales, and marketing. She holds a life coaching certification from Soul Salt Academy. When Lori isn’t teaching, she’s happiest spending time with her three children and looking for the best hiking trails in the area.

Join us as she shares from her wealth of knowledge on all things yoga. Lori quietly shows up and sets the tone for others to put down their mat and develop a relationship with yoga and all that it can offer. Her style of teaching and the warmth, energy, patience, and generosity she brings to her classes make for a truly joyful experience. I found that talking with her was equally joyful and hope you enjoy the show!

Things we’re talking about:

• Lori’s journey to becoming a yoga teacher
• What brought her to the mat?
• Joy role models
• How yoga helps us strengthen our capacity to trust and make conscious choices?
• How having a yoga practice enhances our ability to bring more joy into our lives.
• The importance of showing up
• Breath practices
• Ayurvedic practices

Resources:

Lori's Facebook Page

Maria Garre

A short guide to a happy life- Anna Quinlan

Cher slapping Nicholas CageThe right Questions- Debbie Ford

Ayurvedic Practices

Using a Neti Pots

Nasya oil- oil for the nostril

Today's guest is all about helping people reclaim their joy around food. Amy Goldsmith is a nutritionist who talks about the importance of finding someone you can trust to help you forge healthier habits with food. She shares what brings her joy, what steals it, and how she gets it back. 

Here's a little more information on Amy and how to find her:

http://www.kindrednutrition.com/

301-580-0008

[email protected]

Here are a few resources on nutrition and mindful eating.