The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show

Let the fuzz ducks be unfurled once more as we present a seriously weird show, filled full of a galaxy of stars from all over Catford. David Lynch returns to read the weather forecast despite a landmark court ruling, and there's radiophonic stomachs a-plenty from both far and wide, and in that order. To be fair though, the gasman appears to be present and correct, but all is not as it seems. Or is it? Biscuits!

This week's show is held together with a special adhesive - but which one? Tune in and find out! There's an unusual vocal performance from Farmer Collins, who makes a special guest appearance by arrangement with silt, and when it comes to plans for chart domination there's no one quite like Numan. Tired and emotional? So is Trip Advisor expert Peter Pilbeam who gives us another hotel review for some reason, but who is Monty Modlyn? And is David Lynch really Keith Chegwin? Bunkers!

Well, if it isn't the long-awaited return of our long-awaited show. If it isn't, we don't know what it is. If you happen to know, write to the usual address and you could win a clock radio. That's right, we've somehow managed to re-engage our cast of several to bring you a fresh set of Smurftastic sketches and sounds from the very epicentre of something, including a highly unentertaining quiz for schools, the puzzling reappearance of film director and weird man David Lynch, and more information about Leighton Buzzard than you can shake a stick at.

It's the last episode of this hugely inflatable series, which can only mean one thing: yes, it's the last episode of the series. Or is it? Yes, it is. And we end it all in style with a whole host of famous guests flown in from all over Melton Mowbray. But where are Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Grumpy, Grover and Muriel? Who is the mysterious 'Frank Muir?' And why is Planet Skaro closed for repair? Find out in this, the Year of the Mahogany Sideboard. And whatever the conclusion, we hope you've enjoyed whatever this has been. Thank you for your time and effort. And do remember to keep 'em peeled. They taste awful with the skin left on.

John Dredge returns with a new series that really lets the flavour flood out. False claims aside, car parks will be all the rage in this, the first episode since the last one, so spare a thought for things both hither and yon. Non-special guests include avant-garde composer Arnold Schoenberg, who will be communicating in his own inimitable style. Classical actor Greg Haiste returns to the fray for free, not that there was any money left in the piggy bank after we bought all those biscuits, and silage will definitely be to the fore in this, the Year of the Cagoule. So sit back, relax, pull your chair up to the ceiling, and let John and his cast of 48,000 do the rest. It's a gas!