49. From the Mouth of a Babe, With Matthew Stockwell

11/10/21 • 14 min

The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD

As parents, we sometimes forget just how much our relationships, especially our relationship with our partner, impacts our children. On this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, I interview my nine-year-old son, Matthew. We have a very frank, unscripted conversation where I ask him questions about our family, his friends, and life in general. He shares some insightful thoughts about how the smallest hint of tension or disagreement between his parents can be upsetting and he offers advice on how he believes parents can help children “have a wonderful time”. Buckle up for a really sweet and unique conversation that I'm excited to share with you.

IN THIS EPISODE:

[00:46] Introduction and explanation of today’s guest
[04:55] Alexandra welcomes her son, Matthew to the interview
[05:20] What’s it like being the youngest child in the family?
[06:34] What makes the Stockwell family, the Stockwell family?
[07:22] What do you mean by we are the “opposite of divorced?”
[10:06] How children perceive parental tension
[11:45] What’s it like having older siblings?
[12:28] Advice for parents: How to help your children have a wonderful childhood
[13:08] What have you learned about yourself from being a son and a brother?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

It’s important to understand that what happens within your marital relationship will have an impact on your children.
The more sensitive your child is the more they might perceive the simplest of tensions between you and your partner as a negative experience
Matthew shares two important pieces of advice to parents on how to help kids have a wonderful childhood: challenge kids to grow and learn but don’t push too hard; and encourage children to connect with others but also let them learn to be content by themselves.

Matthew is Alexandra and her husband's 4th and youngest child, age 9 at the time of the interview. In the conversation, Matthew shares openly and honestly about being a member of the Stockwell family and shares insights on how important his parents relationship is for him.

Links Mentioned:

Intimacy Program: https://desires.alexandrastockwell.com/intimacy/

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

Alexandra’s website: www.alexandrastockwell.com

Read Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy”: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

Follow Alexandra: IG: @alexandra.stockwell.intimacy

FB: https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

FB business: https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

IN THIS EPISODE:

[00:46] Introduction and explanation of today’s guest
[04:55] Alexandra welcomes her son, Matthew to the interview
[05:20] What’s it like being the youngest child in the family?
[06:34] What makes the Stockwell family, the Stockwell family?
[07:22] What do you mean by we are the “opposite of divorced?”
[10:06] How children perceive parental tension
[11:45] What’s it like having older siblings?
[12:28] Advice for parents: How to help your children have a wonderful childhood
[13:08] What have you learned about yourself from being a son and a brother?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

It’s important to understand that what happens within your marital relationship will have an impact on your children.
The more sensitive your child is the more they might perceive the simplest of tensions between you and your partner as a negative experience
Matthew shares two important pieces of advice to parents on how to help kids have a wonderful childhood: challenge kids to grow and learn but don’t push too hard; and encourage children to connect with others but also let them learn to be content by themselves.

Links Mentioned:

Intimacy Program: https://desires.alexandrastockwell.com/intimacy/

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

Alexandra’s website: www.alexandrastockwell.com

Read Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy”: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

Follow Alexandra: IG: @alexandra.stockwell.intimacy

FB: https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

FB business: https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

Previous Episode

48. The Delight in Scheduled Intimacy

How do you feel about scheduled intimacy? Many couples feel it's only necessary for those who lack passion or have marital issues. However, I’m here to tell you that’s just not true. We make time for other things we value, like exercise and eating regularly. Why shouldn’t we also carve out designated time for intimacy? In this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, I’m talking about the misconceptions surrounding this and the many benefits that couples experience when they priortize sex in this way.

IN THIS EPISODE:

[00:46] How do you feel about scheduling sex?
[4:48] How to alter your perception of scheduled intimacy
[07:57] The anticipation of scheduled intimacy
[13:51] Guiding intimate expectations and communication
[17:40] The Intimacy Program

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

There is a misunderstanding that scheduling sex is only for couples that lack passion or are having marital issues - that’s not true.
When we value things, we schedule it into our lives like exercise or eating regularly. Why shouldn’t we priortize sex in the same way?
Just like looking forward to dining at a nice restaurant or going out on a date with your partner, scheduling intimacy builds anticipation.
Scheduling sex increases intentionality and communication within your relationship, which leads to greater intimacy.

Links Mentioned:

Intimacy Program: https://desires.alexandrastockwell.com/intimacy/

Read Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy”: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

Follow Alexandra:

IG: @alexandra.stockwell.intimacy

FB: https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

IG business: https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

Next Episode

50. Learning and Loving as an EntreMD, With Nneka Chineme Unachukwu, MD

On this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, I’m speaking with the incredible Nneka Chineme Unachukwa, MD, commonly known as Dr. Una. She is a pediatrician, podcast host, entrepreneur coach to physicians all over the world, and CEO and Founder of Ivy League Pediatrics in Lawrenceville, Georgia. On top of all that, she is also a wife of 15 years and mom to four children. In this insightful and encouraging conversation, we discuss delegation within marriage, the distinction between compromise and staying true to yourself, and how marriage is the ultimate personal development program.

IN THIS EPISODE:

[01:27] Dr. Una is introduced and shares the meaning behind her name
[04:57] The heart behind Dr. Una’s work and her podcast, EntreMD
[07:48] How your decision-making process impacts your intimate relationship
[12:36] The importance of delegation
[19:07] The difference between compromise and prioritizing when it comes to identity, values, and dreams within relationships
[25:47] Dr. Una answers the questions, “What have you learned about yourself as a result of being married to your husband?”
[31:14] Information about Dr. Una’s Podcast, EntreMD

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Communication is key when making important decisions that affect your partner.
In order to accomplish more in life and have more time and freedom, you have to leverage the power of people and adopt a lifestyle of delegation within your marriage and your work-life.
When we prioritize certain needs or desires in a relationship, the method will not matter as much as the outcome.
Bring all of yourself to your relationship. Never try to bury your hopes or dreams in order to avoid conflict.
We are the best we can be, the most fun, the happiest, when we are true to who we are, and when we make room for our partner to do the same.
Marriage is the best personal development program!

Links Mentioned:

https://entremd.com

https://entremd.com/podcast/

Read Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy”: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

Alexandra’s website: www.alexandrastockwell.com

Follow Alexandra:

IG: @alexandra.stockwell.intimacy

FB: https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

FB business: https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/