The Intense Mind with Imi Lo

Full article: https://eggshelltherapy.com/fear-of-abandonment-object-constancy-and-bpd/
An excerpt: The Slot Machine of Love: Inconsistent Parenting and the Fear of Abandonment

If you are struggling with a fear of abandonment and issues with object constancy, you were likely raised by an emotionally unstable or inconsistent primary caregiver.

This kind of upbringing can be both perplexing and traumatizing. Your parent may show empathy, but only fleetingly and inconsistently. They have a hot-and-cold, on-and-off emotional pattern. Instead of receiving the steady, nurturing love and care that every child deserves, you were subjected to a confusing and erratic pattern of attention.

At moments, they might shower you with warmth and affection, yet at the slightest hint of stress or a trigger, they flip into an entirely different person—often childish, unreasonable, aggressive, or even violent.

This Jekyll and Hyde behavior thrusts you into a perpetual state of hypervigilance and fear, uncertain as to which version of your parent will appear next.

Will it be the caring figure, the harsh critic, or perhaps the unpredictable drunk? What might you have done wrong to trigger them? How can you get your ‘good parent’ back?

Perhaps, each time you hear the doorknob turn, you get washed over by waves of anxiety. What awaits on the other side? Is it a threat of violence or an offer of a comforting hug? The uncertainty is constant; you simply never know. Their own trauma and unresolved attachment issues mean they often don't have a handle on what triggers their emotional meltdowns, which means they cannot fix it, even if they want to.

Indeed, your parent might have been a victim of inconsistent parenting or childhood trauma. But right now, we're not justifying their behavior; we are focusing on you and your pain—as few have done before.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

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Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
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Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers
Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2023/02/06/i-didnt-know-my-father-had-autism-an-unexpected-bliss-road-with-martha-engber-imi-lo/

BLISS ROAD is the memoir of a neurotypical daughter of an undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder parent. Martha Engber’s honest and moving memoir illuminates the parent-child challenge presented by a neurological condition that affects over 75 million people worldwide.

A hybrid of poetry and essays, Ms. Engber uses personal anecdotes, coupled with historical research and current statistics, to explain the emergence of autism over the last hundred years.

After describing the psychological, emotional and social challenges she faced as a child, then as an adult and parent, she explains the method by which she changed her thinking and behavior to both celebrate her parents and heal.

In this interview, we describe what it was like for Martha to have a father who had undiagnosed autism as a child, what you should do to deal with the loss and trauma if this was your background.

For more,

About my work: eggshelltherapy.com
About me: https://www.imiloimilo.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/eggshelltransformations

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Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

If this topic speaks to you, you may like the books
Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity:

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers
Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

FULL TEXT: https://eggshelltherapy.com/bpd_limerence/
Limerence is an experience unlike any other. It is beyond pure infatuation, but an all-consuming experience that can bring us to the highest ecstasy and the lowest depths of despair. It floods our brains with neurons and turns everything into a breathless roller coaster ride. However much we 'know' it is irrational, and try to shake it off, we cannot seem to escape the constant loop of hope and disappointment, longing and devastation. This state of all-consuming romantic obsession is what Dorothy Tennov termed as limerence in her groundbreaking 1979 work.

Limerence is a complex and often painful experience for most people, as few of us would choose to have our whole sense of being taken over by intrusive thoughts and fantasies. But it is never as simple as a conscious choice. Behind these overwhelming feelings lies a deeper story—one that begins in our earliest experiences of love and loss and speaks to the very heart of how we learn to attach and bond with others.

The picture gets even more complex for those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in limerence. When you have BPD, your emotional thermostat is already set at a different level, and with limerence in the mix, it can become truly unbearable chaos.

In this piece, we shall explore the underlying psychological mechanisms of limerence and how these dynamics take on unique dimensions for those with BPD. By understanding these patterns more deeply—from both psychoanalytic and neurobiological perspectives—we can hopefully help you chart a path forward that honors the intensity of your experience and your capacity for healing.

This is a podcast about setting an intentional rhythm, savoring life’s blessings and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers
Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.