How Keion and Shaunie Are Rewriting “the Rules” for Their Black Family

10/09/24 • 36 min

The Groow Zone with Shaunie and Keion Henderson

Growing up, Keion’s mother outlined clear family values: “Always tell the truth,” respectfully address people as “Sir” or “Ma’am,” and reserve judgment (lest you be judged yourself!). Shaunie’s mother taught her to be “ladylike” and “stay out of grown folks’ business,” while her father taught her to be “street smart” and “keep her head on a swivel.” Despite being raised states apart in two different families, the underlying expectation their parents had was the same: ”Don’t embarrass us!” In this episode, Keion and Shaunie deconstruct how the principles from their upbringing shaped them into the people they are today, and why they believe Black families in America are united by some core values. They trace the source back to the damage caused by generational racial trauma. From enslavement to Jim Crow segregation to redlining, pain has been passed down to the point where “African-Americans don’t recognize their own power,” Keion declares. The culture maker and spiritual leader dissect exactly why family values protect Black Americans given that “to be Black in America is to be African with no home and American with no privilege,” as Keion believes.

Key insights include why the Hendersons believe Black people often feel the need to “defend the entire race,” how a lack of unity in Black culture has led to a “communal search for identity”, and the surprising force they believe binds Black people together. Taking inventory of where you come from and the forces that drive your decisions requires growth on the inside. While African-Americans may always combat obstacles and cultural misconceptions, Keion and Shaunie believe there’s always an opportunity to create a lasting legacy of triumph and write a new narrative for the extended Black family.

Previous Episode

Why Keion Believes “the Seeds Survive the Blend” in Co-parenting

Shaunie and Keion Henderson know firsthand that co-parenting isn’t an overnight success. From witnessing their parents’ unhealthy co-parenting as children to learning to co-parent as divorced adults, the Hendersons may not be experts but they are experienced. In this episode, they provide suggestions for how to sidestep pitfalls and offer a healthy alternative to blending a family. Shaunie recalls how her mother’s emotions put a strain on her relationship with her half-siblings. And Keion explains what it was like to be the child caught between parents in a blended family.

The two talk about why “co-parenting isn’t about you,” how to “protect your child from the pressure to pick a side,” and why it's important as parents to deal with your trauma. Sharing candidly from their own experiences, Shaunie and Keion elaborate on how planting seeds of love requires growth on the inside. “The parents' decisions create the conditions for healthy or unhealthy co-parenting,” Keion says. He asserts that what you bring into a blended family (the seeds) “always survives the blend.”

Next Episode

Why Keion Thinks ‘We Need to Talk’ Are the Scariest Words in the World

Despite differing communication styles, Keion and Shaunie are committed to a relationship based on respect and mutual growth. She’s a self-described “winger” who is used to going at it alone. He’s a planner and delegator who usually has a clear vision. In this episode, they get into why men experience anxiety when they hear “We need to talk.” And why when men say “Let’s talk,” they tend to have a goal and solution in mind, while when women say it there’s often a deeper reason for the conversation. Guided by the first of Don Miguel Ruiz's four agreements – "be impeccable with your word" – "the faith guy" and "the culture lady" break down how to avoid having “jaded conversations” and honor your partner with the commitment and promise of healthy communication instead.

Tips and advice include how to “solve communication knots,” how to save your man from awkward moments, and how to talk things out when someone utters the dreaded phrase. Ultimately, because “Growth is an inside job,” it takes talking to truly “grow with each other in real time,” as Shaunie reminds us.

For further growth, check out:

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and

The Shift by Pastor Keion Henderson.