"Body After Baby": Clothes, Exercise, and Contraception

What really happens to your body after you give birth? How long does it take to bounce back? Why is it impossible to find jeans when your waist and hips are the same size? And for the love of god, why is it assumed that preventing unwanted pregnancies right after giving birth – because yes, actually, this is something you need to worry about – falls on the woman who just gave birth? We don't really know, but here's our feelings about all of it.