The Deeper Pulse with Candice Schutter

CW: This episode features reference to emotional abuse, cult dynamics, and coercion.
We’re back with Part 2 of our convo with former ‘Org’ studio owner, Mark Frossard. If you missed part one, you'll definitely wanna start there. This conversation was recorded during Pride month and we pick things back up just as Mark is sharing about annual Pride events he led during his tenure as a studio owner. He and his former business partner didn’t always see eye-to-eye, and this leads into a discussion of how social movements are very often appropriated and commodified by corporations. And how the experiences and perspectives of those who are supposedly being represented get erased entirely. Mark then continues with his story, sharing about rising tensions at the studio, as well as painful realizations he began having around his business partnership. When he finally chooses to use ‘the a-word’ and name aloud the abuse he and others are experiencing, chaos ensues and Mark is emotionally isolated from his community - and from speaking his truth. He shares details around attempts at business mediation and how it came to be that - despite being the general manager and the majority owner of the studio - he eventually surrendered to a $0 buyout. Mark reveals why he believes the Org founder was in many ways instrumental to these failed negotiations, supporting his claims with details surrounding her communications with him directly. He speaks with vulnerability about his exit and the sorrow and humiliation that he felt during his last days at the studio. Then, he opens up about his healing process - what it’s been like to experience trauma triggers for the first time, and why continuing to dance has been such a pivotal part of his healing journey. Finally, Mark speaks directly to his community for the first time since leaving, reminding us all why the compassion and humility he was once shamed for is, in fact, his superpower.
Mark Frossard is a creative, multi-faceted artist living in Santa Fe, NM. He joined The Org in 2010 and eventually became majority owner of a successful dance-fitness studio. Mark left The Org and his studio in 2021 after experiencing the effects of cult-dynamics and narcissistic abuse. Since then, Mark, his husband, and a group of friends continue to dance together without the confines of any particular organization or style. Currently, Mark is an Adventure Coordinator at a luxury resort. He guides hikes, art classes, and creates memorable experiences! Instagram: @markfrossardarts

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The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.
Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

This week on the pod, we explore one-on-one cult dynamics with memoirist, Emma Stevens. Emma’s story begins with a peek inside of her first book - The Gathering Place: An Adoptee Story. She shares why she felt compelled to share her story of relinquishment and how the industry of adoption is problematic and ‘a little culty’ in sense that it doesn’t always serve the best interests of the children it serves. Emma describes being adopted into an authoritarian family and how having so little room for individuation has made her more susceptible to cultic influence as an adult. The conversation then turns to her second memoir, A Fire Is Coming, where she shares what it was like to fall victim to a narcissistic therapist who coerced Emma to leave her marriage and move in with her. She describes how this individual fostered a slow-burn dependency that preyed on Emma’s core wounds and fostered a disorganized attachment bond. Thanks to support from the outside, Emma was able to eventually move away from this relationship and take legal action against her abuser; but it would take her years to come to terms with her experience. Sobriety, in every sense of the word, paved way for deep healing, and now Emma is bravely sharing her story with the world in hopes of bringing awareness to the cult-of-one dynamics that are so common in abusive one-on-one relationships.
Emma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. It is Emma’s desire to be part of the movement that is dedicated to help bring forth change to the way our world views the needs and support of adopted individuals, as well as bring awareness of the exploitation that can occur by the hands of counselors, therapists, and other healthcare professionals. A Fire Is Coming is Emma Stevens’ second book. Her first was The Gathering Place: An Adoptee’s Story. She has an undergraduate degree in journalism and has completed Master’s level course work in psychology, specializing in Marriage, Family, and Child counseling. She has two adult children and two cat children who she adores.

Referenced In This Episode:

• A Fire Is Coming, by Emma Stevens
• The Gathering Place, by Emma Stevens
• Phoenix Rising - HBO
• Surviving R Kelly - Netflix
• Bad Vegan - Netflix

If you’d like support with in a cult-of-one partnership, reach out to the Domestic Violence Hotline - 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.
Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Integrity is so much more than ‘walking your talk’ in active demonstration of your values. It is integration with ALL that life has to offer. In this episode, we explore integrity as an internal compass and pluralistic embodiment of connection. When we are willing to step outside of our personal identities, we mature emotionally and grow into trans-rational understanding - a worldview that is connective and universally accepting.
Candice shares more personal stories, sharing about some times in her life when stepping into integrity meant risking security and belonging in favor of the gravitas within. This episode will help you reconnect with grittiness, grace, and your very own center of gravity. Explore how to better navigate dissonance and find the answer to the question: Is this a growth edge or a story I can no longer fit inside? Change is humbling and shedding identities can feel wildly unsettling, especially when you choose to express wholeness rather than play a part in a divisive norm. In the end, there is no greater service to the whole of life than an integral way of being. Integrity is an active acceptance that enables you to love (and live) more freely.

CHAPTERS
0:48 - Legless (story)
5:18 - A star is born
10:43 - Integrity vs. identity
16:38 - Campus Payphone (story)
24:00 - Integral theory
32:15 - 2 types of dissonance
33:53 - Let It Stand (story)
35:44 - The empty husk
37:18 - Tragic optimism
Referenced in this episode:

• We Can Do Hard Things Podcast, Glennon Doyle
• Integral Theory, Ken Wilber
• James Hollis, various sources
• Article: The Opposite of Toxic Positivity, by Scott Barry Kaufman

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.
Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

In a very special episode, and in honor of Transgender Day of Visibility, Candice sits down with her dear friend, Rachel Kaufman. Rachel speaks about how the pandemic impacted her work as a massage therapist and reflects on what it’s like to live as a trans woman during this time of unprecedented political backlash. She generously shares about why she decided to come out as a trans woman, and the many challenges she has faced along the way. She tells us how therapy and a strong support network carried her through her journey of transitioning and speaks to why, as a binary trans woman, she personally yearns to be received plain and simply as a woman, without all the awkwardness and adjectives. Candice digs into why it is we so often inaccurately conflate cognitive dissonance with safety concerns, and the two discuss healthy alternatives to transphobic projections. They explore how misogyny and internalized homophobia so often lead to violence and pathological enforcement of gender norms, and how legislation (even the bills that fail to pass) are actively endangering LGBTQ+ individuals as we speak. Rachel shares tangible examples of how cis gender folks often do harm by treating trans people differently, and she offers some practical tips for self-awareness in an effort to help cis folks up-level their support - from hollow promises of allyship toward meaningful action.
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Rachel Kaufman is a neurodivergent transgender woman. She was born and raised in the metro area of Portland, OR and currently resides there with her two sweet puppies and bajillion plant babies. As a queer, polyamorous, sex positive and staunchly feminist person, she holds little space for ideals that seek to dehumanize, alienate, invalidate or otherwise harm the people of her community and beyond.

She has been a practicing massage therapist since 2011 and owns Thrive Therapeutic Massage in Oregon City, OR. She is passionate about providing a safe, accepting, healing space for all people, all identities, and all bodies.

Website: www.thrivetherapeuticmassage.com

FB: https://m.facebook.com/ThriveTherapeutic/

Insta: @thrivetherapeuticmassage and @rache_againstthemachine

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LEARN, SUPPORT & TAKE ACTION

• Transgender Day of Visibility
• GLAAD | Things You Can Do For Transgender Equality
• Human Rights Campaign | Understanding the Transgender Community
• ACLU | Donate to the Legal Fight

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.
Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.

Deconstructing Dogma is a video bonus series hosted exclusively on Patreon. Patrons of The Deeper Pulse have unlimited access to these weekly extras in exchange for their support of the podcast. Patreon donations help keep the main feed of this pod ad-free.
This week’s Patreon Preview features excerpts from DD #50 with Stacy Parish. Stacy was on the main feed back in March 2023, and she's back to share about how complex trauma shaped her culty experiences - as well as her ability to recognize the warning signs before wading in too deep.

Content Warning >> This episode includes reference to sexual trauma, familial gaslighting, and emotional abuse.
In the full-length episode over on Patreon:

• Stacy shares how she got involved with the Org & why she chose to step away after completing her second level of training.
• She reveals what it was like stepping into the practice as a sexual trauma survivor; how the practice felt like a godsend that gifted her "a birthright that I'd been robbed of."
• She opens up about how, even as a teacher on 'the fringe' she experienced red flags; sharing examples.

And then, she bravely shares about her family of origin & how it may have shaped her susceptibility to gaslighting and undue influence:

• You'll learn about the since-disbanded False Memory Syndrome Foundation, their VERY troubling history (read more about it here), and the gaslighting that Stacy endured as a result of a systemic campaign to silence victims of childhood sexual abuse.
• Stacy tells us what it was like being gaslit by her parents & how/why psychological survival meant normalizing the tension of two painfully opposing truths.
• She reveals how her original wounds may have inspired her to incessantly seek out surrogate family & a sense of safety and belonging. And we discuss how common this yearning can be.

And finally, Stacy shares:

• How art and storytelling has helped her to liberate her voice.
• What it's been like for her to step into the spotlight & live her truth out loud.

Stacy Parish has a BS degree in art education from Minnesota State University, Mankato and spent 11 years in broadcasting — as a professional disc jockey, voice talent and copywriter. She has been professionally involved in education and communication for almost years. A born storyteller, her popular podcast “Full Spirals” brings together two of her passions: using her voice as a vehicle for change and promoting the arts as tools for healing. A working local artist, she is also employed in the paint and sip industry as an artist, and her original paintings have been taught to tens of thousands of people nationwide. fullspirals.com | @boomstacy

Support the show

The stories and opinions shared in this episode are based on personal experience and are not intended to malign any individual, group, or organization.
Join The Deeper Pulse at Patreon for weekly bonus episodes + other exclusive bonus content. Follow The Deeper Pulse on IG @thedeeperpulse + @candiceschutter for more regular updates.