19. Hattie Butterworth: performance anxiety, OCD, and psychological abuse in conservatoires

*This discussion touches on intrusive thoughts around death and suicide - please skip through if you need to*

Hattie Butterworth is a journalist, cellist and founder of Things Musicians Don’t Talk About: a podcast, blog and online platform born in 2020 out of Hattie’s own struggles with her mental health. Subsequently growing into a space that raises awareness for musicians’ health and wellbeing, TMDTA platforms very honest discussions about stigmatised topics including mental health, injuries, and discrimination in the industry. Hattie is also the editor of two magazines, Opera Now and Choir and Organ.

In this episode, Hattie spoke about performance anxiety, her complicated relationship with the cello, and her long-lasting struggles with OCD. She also talks about a piece she wrote for the Evening Standard on psychological abuse in conservatoires, burnout and balancing being present in the everyday with the constant reflection on past experiences that her TMDTA work requires of her.

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Hattie's links:

Website

Instagram

Twitter/X

Things Musicians Don't Talk About

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Music: François Couperin - Le Tic-Toc-Choc ou Les Maillotins

Performed by Daniel Lebhardt

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This podcast is also available to listen to via The Violin Channel

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The Classical Circuit is made by Ella Lee (producer by trade, pianist at heart).

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