Ep.15 You're More Boring Than You Think

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06/06/20 • 3 min

2 Listeners

The Chicken Mind Nuggets's Podcast

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

(none, these are my thoughts 😊 )

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

A story I told myself.

You’re more boring than you think. The stories you tell are not as exciting as you would like people to take them. The experiences that you had don’t inspire people to make themselves better. Your words don’t affect their lives to the point where they realize all of their faults and they become better people. Your stories of triumph and overcoming hardships doesn’t make you an expert on your type of PTSD. Your 34 years of being on this Earth doesn’t qualify you to give life advice to children. The things you get excited about?.....are boring to most other people. Very few people would want to sit in silence drinking chai and listening to stoicism, so don’t get excited about trying to create a meet-up for this. Your activities don’t include social gatherings and you don’t like people, so let go of your excitement to impress or excite anyone. You're fucking boring.

Thank god for this conversation. It sounds sooooo gloomy, but I found peace in knowing that there is no one that I have to impress. There is an excitement that I would get about sharing my life with other people, but the disappointment about my expectations that were not being met overpowered the storytelling and made the experience a shameful situation rather than open-hearted. I continuously closed my heart to the thought of opening it because when I opened it for a second to share a space with someone, to relate to someone, to comfort someone, it would get shut down with an eye roll or a change of conversation, or a backhanded compliment. However, this internal conversation, unknowingly, let my ears open more to people and let my mouth close more to people. I can be the listener to other people’s lives and excitement and be there for their excitement. I can share a space with them where I recognize their need to create a space which I don’t feel like I have to help them reorganize. I can listen to where people are coming from and although I am silent, I gain a tremendous amount of insight on why people are the way they are and I can relate internally. There are stronger connections made within the silent space of being there for someone than when I try to be there for them out loud. A moment of “guess what happened today,” gets to put me in the space of active listening, almost like an Audible book, except I know the author and I’m tremendously grateful that they want to read their real-life story to me. I get to give them love in this way; I get to listen to them which makes me feel better about being a part of their lives. My mouth closes, I stare and listen, and that space that someone is opening for me, I get to sit and be at peace by hearing the world's greatest storytellers – which is EVERYONE because everyone has a story.

Sometimes, being stoically real with yourself, makes you more loving.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

(none, these are my thoughts 😊 )

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

A story I told myself.

Sometimes, being stoically real with yourself, makes you more loving.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com

Previous Episode

Ep.14 After

1 Recommendations

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hot-thought/201002/does-everything-happen-reason-0

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

Inspired by Lyndon.

I..........say everything happens for a reason....a lot. I believe it, but after having a good conversation with a friend, I understand that this is a limited belief only applicable post-event. You can not tell a mother holding a dying child that everything happens for a reason. You can not tell a kid that lost their favorite comfort toy that everything happens for a reason. You can’t tell someone who is in the process of being robbed or on the floor shot that everything happens for a reason. You would be an asshole. There are moments which put us in the present moment like these and the statement isn’t “this is happening for a reason,” the statement is, “why the hell is this happening?!?!” The everything happens for a reason statement is to give you comfort and a sense of purpose for an event AFTER the event has happened. Looking back on everything in my life, everything is connected and has led me to where I am now, but only after I made choices along each of the roads branching off those connections. Post-event acceptance means you understand what happened and why, but the connections you made along your roads don’t provide the evidence to prove that everything happens for a reason. There is no proof that the toy was lost because something said it has to or there is a divine reason behind it. Did the universe really want you to be shot? This implies there is no such thing as chance or free will. Charles Sanders Perice believed that chance is an objective property owned by the universe and called his theory Tychism which is Greek for chance and quantum theory which supports unpredictability, gives backing to Tychism with the possibility of chance. But are the events in our lives done by pre-planned construction, accident, or chance? Is the planning of a baby pre-planned and the pregnancy accident or chance and how many factors do you contribute to your answer? Hegel, a German philosopher stated that real is rational, but doesn’t define real. Real can be in your head or factually accurate, but then accurate to who? History or your enemy? Does real just imply....life? An explanation for chance, in order to satisfy the past event, maybe the reason, for everything.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com

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Ep.16 N.E.E.D

1 Recommendations

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

http://www.theminimalists.com

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

N.E.E.D – never experiencing enough dealings. This is what need stands for...at least what I think it stands for. I have a friend at work who told me about his big house. He has a blank wall and said, “I need to put something there.” He has an empty room and said, “I need to rent it out.” He has a backyard set up and said, “I need to do something different with it.” I listened, and nodded, and told him I understood, but I didn’t understand anything he was saying. I don’t think you need to cover a large blank wall, or rent an empty room, or do something different with your back yard because to me need means it’s essential to your life functioning. I need water just like you, but no one, in my opinion, needs to cover a blank wall. I am being particular about this because I have a hard time understanding how loosely the word need is used just like the word, “like,” is over used in common conversation. Need means you are sacrificing your time and money for a thing or things which you deem necessary. This can be a good thing; you can use your time and money on your loved ones and in that case, you are creating memories...not just satisfying a need for yourself or them. Need (in the sense of the acronym) is like throwing things down a bottomless pit and expecting it to fill up so you can feel fulfilled. How many times have you purchased something because you forecasted your potential happiness that you will have once you buy it? Does your forecast match your actual happiness level? Did it fill a spot in the void to where you don’t have to purchase anything else because you are fulfilled? Did the object break and now your forecasted happiness turned into unexpected sadness or anger because your expectations and goal of reaching a level of excitement for the THING is now unachievable? I hope these questions spark some “yea that is silly” thoughts in your mind. We should use the word need to mean things that are essential to our wellbeing for survival and not for something that we want because we believe it will bring us a level of a feeling. The word W.A.N.T (which I acronym Willingly Allowing NOW Theft) should take the place of need when it comes to things that are not necessary. This changes your external as well as your internal dialogue about an object. I need a new carpet brings hassle, a “losing the race,” type of feeling. I want a new carpet brings questions: do I really need it? Can I afford it? Can I still live with the one I have? We should change the way we talk about getting an object because we don’t always look at what is lost in the process and what we are losing is sometimes more valuable that what we are getting, so accumulation can actually equal loss. I am not saying everyone should be a minimalist or stop buying for a month, but just take a look at how you use the two words – need and want; then try to interchange them in your sentences and see how you feel each time you change the word. You may feel that you need to want less, or maybe you want to need more....... see what I did there?

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com