Ep.14 After

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05/15/20 • 3 min

2 Listeners

The Chicken Mind Nuggets's Podcast

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hot-thought/201002/does-everything-happen-reason-0

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

Inspired by Lyndon.

I..........say everything happens for a reason....a lot. I believe it, but after having a good conversation with a friend, I understand that this is a limited belief only applicable post-event. You can not tell a mother holding a dying child that everything happens for a reason. You can not tell a kid that lost their favorite comfort toy that everything happens for a reason. You can’t tell someone who is in the process of being robbed or on the floor shot that everything happens for a reason. You would be an asshole. There are moments which put us in the present moment like these and the statement isn’t “this is happening for a reason,” the statement is, “why the hell is this happening?!?!” The everything happens for a reason statement is to give you comfort and a sense of purpose for an event AFTER the event has happened. Looking back on everything in my life, everything is connected and has led me to where I am now, but only after I made choices along each of the roads branching off those connections. Post-event acceptance means you understand what happened and why, but the connections you made along your roads don’t provide the evidence to prove that everything happens for a reason. There is no proof that the toy was lost because something said it has to or there is a divine reason behind it. Did the universe really want you to be shot? This implies there is no such thing as chance or free will. Charles Sanders Perice believed that chance is an objective property owned by the universe and called his theory Tychism which is Greek for chance and quantum theory which supports unpredictability, gives backing to Tychism with the possibility of chance. But are the events in our lives done by pre-planned construction, accident, or chance? Is the planning of a baby pre-planned and the pregnancy accident or chance and how many factors do you contribute to your answer? Hegel, a German philosopher stated that real is rational, but doesn’t define real. Real can be in your head or factually accurate, but then accurate to who? History or your enemy? Does real just imply....life? An explanation for chance, in order to satisfy the past event, maybe the reason, for everything.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hot-thought/201002/does-everything-happen-reason-0

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

Inspired by Lyndon.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com

Previous Episode

Ep.13 Everyone is a Teacher

1 Recommendations

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

https://www.pom-melbourne.com/blog/just-like-me-feeling-compassion-for-me-and-all

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

Everyone is a teacher. Pema Chodron has a beautiful saying which she uses and teaches to help with anger and it’s called, “just like me.” Here’s what you do, you’re in traffic and the lady in front of you is honking her horn and trying to aggressively weave into another lane because she is in a hurry. You angry and in a rush too, just like me. Your friend slams the refrigerator door shut and is aggravated over the phone with the customer service representative who can’t understand her language. You have been there before......just like me. You are at the sandwich counter and you see a guy in front of you holding up the line because he doesn’t know what he wants. You have been indecisive before.......just like me. You see a mom carrying her screaming baby down the supermarket isle while she is pushing a cart of sugary cereals. Your parent’s did what they could for you too when you were a screaming baby.....just like me. You go to the doctor and a sick man in front of you complains about the cost of his visit that insurance won’t cover. You’ve been tight on money before too.....just like me. You go to the DMV to get your car registered and the lady at the counter is aggravated that she doesn’t have all of the paperwork. You have been forgetful before too......just like me. You see a news story where a family lost their house from a tornado and everyone is crying that there is nothing left. You have lost something meaningful to you too......just like me. Your kid comes home from school and said he was picked on by a bigger guy and is mad and wants to punch him in the face. You have been made fun of before too and have felt small and insignificant.....just like me. Your partner has a bad couple of weeks at work and has not paid as much attention to you as you want. You have also had a bad streak in life and needed to pull away to not hurt anyone so you can return more loving......just like me. Your neighbor is screaming at their kids that they need to get into the car or they will be late for the party. You have been late before......just like me. You sit in self-guilt because you believe that you are not worth it, that you are stupid, that what you did is unforgivable and people don’t respect you. Everyone has made bad decisions, but as long as we learn from them they are good and you can move on.....just like me.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com

Next Episode

Ep.15 You're More Boring Than You Think

1 Recommendations

Chicken Mind Nuggets.

Hosted by Wifey

Chickenmindnuggets.com

[email protected]

@mindchicken

References for this episode

(none, these are my thoughts 😊 )

Introduction music graciously provided by

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Thinking Music" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show script: (may differ slightly from spoken word)

A story I told myself.

You’re more boring than you think. The stories you tell are not as exciting as you would like people to take them. The experiences that you had don’t inspire people to make themselves better. Your words don’t affect their lives to the point where they realize all of their faults and they become better people. Your stories of triumph and overcoming hardships doesn’t make you an expert on your type of PTSD. Your 34 years of being on this Earth doesn’t qualify you to give life advice to children. The things you get excited about?.....are boring to most other people. Very few people would want to sit in silence drinking chai and listening to stoicism, so don’t get excited about trying to create a meet-up for this. Your activities don’t include social gatherings and you don’t like people, so let go of your excitement to impress or excite anyone. You're fucking boring.

Thank god for this conversation. It sounds sooooo gloomy, but I found peace in knowing that there is no one that I have to impress. There is an excitement that I would get about sharing my life with other people, but the disappointment about my expectations that were not being met overpowered the storytelling and made the experience a shameful situation rather than open-hearted. I continuously closed my heart to the thought of opening it because when I opened it for a second to share a space with someone, to relate to someone, to comfort someone, it would get shut down with an eye roll or a change of conversation, or a backhanded compliment. However, this internal conversation, unknowingly, let my ears open more to people and let my mouth close more to people. I can be the listener to other people’s lives and excitement and be there for their excitement. I can share a space with them where I recognize their need to create a space which I don’t feel like I have to help them reorganize. I can listen to where people are coming from and although I am silent, I gain a tremendous amount of insight on why people are the way they are and I can relate internally. There are stronger connections made within the silent space of being there for someone than when I try to be there for them out loud. A moment of “guess what happened today,” gets to put me in the space of active listening, almost like an Audible book, except I know the author and I’m tremendously grateful that they want to read their real-life story to me. I get to give them love in this way; I get to listen to them which makes me feel better about being a part of their lives. My mouth closes, I stare and listen, and that space that someone is opening for me, I get to sit and be at peace by hearing the world's greatest storytellers – which is EVERYONE because everyone has a story.

Sometimes, being stoically real with yourself, makes you more loving.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please follow me on twitter @mindchicken, or leave a review on iTunes, listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts, or visit chickenmindnuggets.com