Richard Eyre - Avoiding the Entitlement Trap of Raising Children in Affluence [The Business of Family]

09/28/20 • 51 min

Richard and Linda Eyre may be the most prominent and popular writers and speakers in the world on the topics of family and parenting. Among their incredible 50 books is Teaching your Children Values, the first parenting book in 50 years to hit #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list.

The Eyres’ work is based on the real-life experience of raising 9 children, founding and running 3 businesses, and trying to keep up with high-level involvement in politics, church, music, and sports.

Key Takeaways

The importance of raising children who are happy and motivated
Understand the benefits of implementing a family economy
How a Family Traditions Calendar can have lasting and permanent affect
Why documenting and sharing family history can empower your child
Giving your children ownership to empower and avoid entitlement
Why some failures can lead to major success
The ways that giving children more can actually give them less

Episode Timeline

[1:34] How Richard Eyre dedicated his life’s work to healthy families and parenting
[5:16] Parenting to raise motivated and happy children amid wealth
[7:57] Formal documentation and structure in the family environment
[11:29] Teaching families how to have a family economy
[14:44] Richard and Linda’s family traditions calendar
[20:37] Empowering children through ancestor storybooks
[23:12] Rescuing your child from the entitlement track
[26:55] Giving kids ownership to empower and motivate
[29:29] #1 New York Bestseller, Teaching Your Children Values
[33:37] Books and publishing with insights on new book, Happiness Paradox
[37:32] Richard’s public failure leads to bestselling success
[40:52] Creating free online access to the Eyre books
[44:45] Richard Eyre’s landing page
[48:08] Richard’s belief that if we give our children more, we give them less

Standout Quotes

“We just found that there was a tremendous resonance with the idea of raising healthy kids and looking at it as a management opportunity, a management challenge.” – Richard Eyre [04:37]
"Our goal is to help parents raise responsible, motivated kids. That is a tricky thing to do in a household of affluence." – Richard Eyre [07:11]
"It's the idea that you as a parent have one single focus each month you're going to do well. If you're trying to teach multiple values or multi-task on that you're never going to do it. Just focus one whole month on honesty, suddenly everything that happens is an object lesson.” – Richard Eyre [31:20]
“It was on the heels of that defeat that we wrote this book, Teaching Your Children Values. One year after losing the governatorial race, the book went to number 1. The first family book in 50 years to get to number 1 on the New York Times Bestseller. One door closed but another one opened.” – Richard Eyre [39:38]
"To those of us who have spent our lives in or around business, I think management by objective always resonates. People who are clear on what their goals are and where they're trying to get are the ones who succeed. It's quite remarkable that that very basic sort of practical thinking has rarely penetrated areas of relationships and families and it should." – Richard Eyre [46:40]
"If you are clear on what the goals are that you have for your family and your children, for your family institution it doesn't guarantee success, but it certainly allows you to measure your success and how well you are doing." – Richard Eyre [47:13]
"We need to find ways to pass on what we have without it being a gift that's not value. We have to find a way to share responsibility and to teach the concept of earned ownership rather than running the huge risk of entitlement, spoiling children, putting them on a path of low motivation by giving them too much." -- Richard Eyre [49:07]

*For more episodes go to *
BusinessOfFamily.net

Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeBoyd

If you feel it's appropriate, I'd so appreciate you taking 30 seconds to Leave a Review on iTunes, I receive a notification of each review. Thank you!

Special G...

Key Takeaways

The importance of raising children who are happy and motivated
Understand the benefits of implementing a family economy
How a Family Traditions Calendar can have lasting and permanent affect
Why documenting and sharing family history can empower your child
Giving your children ownership to empower and avoid entitlement
Why some failures can lead to major success
The ways that giving children more can actually give them less

Episode Timeline

[1:34] How Richard Eyre dedicated his life’s work to healthy families and parenting
[5:16] Parenting to raise motivated and happy children amid wealth
[7:57] Formal documentation and structure in the family environment
[11:29] Teaching families how to have a family economy
[14:44] Richard and Linda’s family traditions calendar
[20:37] Empowering children through ancestor storybooks
[23:12] Rescuing your child from the entitlement track
[26:55] Giving kids ownership to empower and motivate
[29:29] #1 New York Bestseller, Teaching Your Children Values
[33:37] Books and publishing with insights on new book, Happiness Paradox
[37:32] Richard’s public failure leads to bestselling success
[40:52] Creating free online access to the Eyre books
[44:45] Richard Eyre’s landing page
[48:08] Richard’s belief that if we give our children more, we give them less

Standout Quotes

“We just found that there was a tremendous resonance with the idea of raising healthy kids and looking at it as a management opportunity, a management challenge.” – Richard Eyre [04:37]
"Our goal is to help parents raise responsible, motivated kids. That is a tricky thing to do in a household of affluence." – Richard Eyre [07:11]
"It's the idea that you as a parent have one single focus each month you're going to do well. If you're trying to teach multiple values or multi-task on that you're never going to do it. Just focus one whole month on honesty, suddenly everything that happens is an object lesson.” – Richard Eyre [31:20]
“It was on the heels of that defeat that we wrote this book, Teaching Your Children Values. One year after losing the governatorial race, the book went to number 1. The first family book in 50 years to get to number 1 on the New York Times Bestseller. One door closed but another one opened.” – Richard Eyre [39:38]
"To those of us who have spent our lives in or around business, I think management by objective always resonates. People who are clear on what their goals are and where they're trying to get are the ones who succeed. It's quite remarkable that that very basic sort of practical thinking has rarely penetrated areas of relationships and families and it should." – Richard Eyre [46:40]
"If you are clear on what the goals are that you have for your family and your children, for your family institution it doesn't guarantee success, but it certainly allows you to measure your success and how well you are doing." – Richard Eyre [47:13]
"We need to find ways to pass on what we have without it being a gift that's not value. We have to find a way to share responsibility and to teach the concept of earned ownership rather than running the huge risk of entitlement, spoiling children, putting them on a path of low motivation by giving them too much." -- Richard Eyre [49:07]

*For more episodes go to *
BusinessOfFamily.net

Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeBoyd

If you feel it's appropriate, I'd so appreciate you taking 30 seconds to Leave a Review on iTunes, I receive a notification of each review. Thank you!

Special G...

Previous Episode

Dave Whorton - From Built to Sell to Built to Last - The Tugboat Institute Story [The Business of Family]

Dave Whorton is an entrepreneur, business leader, education reformer, and investor. Dave founded four companies including Good Technology and Drugstore.com. He also worked for three venture capital firms, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers, TPG, and Interwest.

A small angel investment that Dave made in 2005 opened his eyes to an alternative way of supporting seasoned entrepreneurs who wanted to build large, profitable, innovative businesses that they would run privately for their lifetimes. In 2013 he founded The Tugboat Institute, a membership organisation designed to support Evergreen leaders and their companies over the very long term.

"We believe in the vital importance of humans coming together to create and grow enduring, private businesses that make a dent in the universe." - Tugboat Institute

Standout Quotes

"How do you help a company have good hygiene? A very important component of that is how you develop the family members into the business" - Dave Whorton [31:44]
"If you feel your company is deeply purpose-driven and meant to have a significant impact for a long time in the world then you do think naturally about it from a standpoint of stewardship" - Dave Whorton [34:04]
"How can I take this incredible asset and move it forward before handing it over to the next steward?" - Dave Whorton [34:16]
"I think it's really important to develop a work ethic in your kids, I don't care what level of wealth you have" - Dave Whorton [45:50]

Key Takeaways

The 7Ps that makes a company evergreen: Purpose, Perseverance, People First, Private, Profit, Paced Growth and Pragmatic Innovation [21:44]
Entrepreneurs have to be very clear with CEOs about what they want from their investing partners [39:37]
Dave describes some qualities that he observed to be common among evergreen leaders which mostly include being introverted and humility [23:46]
Developing a work ethic at a young age is critically important and also exposing them to the importance of saving [46:11]

Episode Timeline:

[00:48] Mike introduces Dave and tells us a little about him
[02:06] Dave shares his backstory and work background in more detail
[17:20] The Tugboat group and how it's evolved over time.
[21:44] The 7Ps that makes a company evergreen: Purpose, Perseverance, People First, Private, Profit, Paced Growth and Pragmatic Innovation
[23:46] Dave describes some qualities that he observed to be common among evergreen leaders which mostly include being introverted and humility
[30:18] How does Tugboat support generational transitions of family members or other closely held businesses?
[34:04] if you feel your company is deeply purpose-driven and meant to have a significant impact for a long time in the world then you do think about naturally about it from a standpoint of stewardship; How can I take this incredible asset and move it forward before handing it over to the next steward?
[39:37] Entrepreneurs have to be very clear with CEOs about what they want from their investing partners
[45:33] Dave shares his thoughts on generational wealth and legacy building in contrast to a focus on the children developing a work ethic and inheriting nothing.
[49:29] The failure Dave faced that eventually took him on a journey to where he is today.

For more episodes go to
BusinessOfFamily.net

Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeBoyd

If you feel it's appropriate, I'd so appreciate you taking 30 seconds to Leave a Review on iTunes, I receive a notification of each review. Thank you!

Special Guest: Dave Whorton.

Next Episode

Emily Griffiths-Hamilton - Building Your Family Bank to Owning an NBA & NHL Team [The Business of Family]

Emily Griffiths-Hamilton brings three generations of experience to the subject of wealth and family-business transition planning.

Her maternal grandfather, veterinarian Dr. William Ballard, was one of North America’s greatest dynamic wealth creators. Her father, Frank A. Griffiths, FCA, built a highly successful sports and media empire. Emily herself, along with her brother Arthur and their partners, has been the co-owner of a National Hockey League (NHL) team, the Vancouver Canucks; a National Basketball Association (NBA) franchise, the Vancouver Grizzlies; and a state-of-the-art-arena.

Emily’s professional training, expertise and unique first-hand experience have given her a deep understanding of the benefits of clear, considered wealth and family-business transition planning.

Today, she is passionate about providing guidance to individuals and families for the effective multigenerational management of family wealth and family businesses.

Emily is the author of two excellent books, Build Your Family Bank and Your Business, Your Family, Their Future, which look closely at the core causes of wealth erosion and failed transition plans and offers a set of strategies for building successful wealth transition plans that will benefit many generations.

Standout Quotes:

"A legacy lifestyle to me is really anything where anyone is enjoying an affluent life based on someone else's earnings"
"Earning a voice at the table is critically important as the families get larger because not everybody is necessarily around the table making decisions for the family bank but the family council may be elected members to represent different parts of the families"
"Life is the reflection of the Choices that you make between your Birth and your Death (life is the C between the B and the D)"
"The choices that you make are going to be a reflection of the decisions that you make, and if you really want to make the best decisions, think about swapping judgment for curiosity"
“Curiosity can open your eyes to a world of unlimited imagination and infinite possibilities”

Key Takeaways:

The process of creating the family wealth was infused into the family DNA added in each generation.
The issue in a legacy lifestyle is enjoying a lifestyle that someone else is earning the funds to afford you, the cautionary note is to watch for the creep of entitlement issues.
The traditional approach to wealth transition planning including tax deferment and trust funds fail 70% of the time.
As long as your human and intellectual components are still strong, the Family bank will keep standing.
Reasons why 70% of families at each generation fail at wealth transition include a breakdown of communication and trust (60%), the unpreparedness of heirs (25%), lack of shared vision (12%), and failure of professionals (3%).
Earning a voice at the table is critically important as the families get larger.
Family bank is not a legal term, it's a philosophical term; it's whatever the family defines it to be.
5 reasons to put a Trust in place in Canada: Control, Creditor Protection, Privacy, Probate and Tax.
Research shows that within 7 years lottery winnings are usually gone which is the same with inheritances.
If you want to make the best decisions, swap judgment for curiosity

Episode Timeline:

[00:49] An overview of some of Emily's work.
[02:20] How the initial family wealth was created and sustained through the different generations as part of the family DNA.
[05:20] Emily explains the clear distinction between Ownership and Management.
[05:31] Her contribution to the Family DNA of wealth creation is the Role of Stewardship.
[08:26] The event leading up to the ownership of the Hockey team reflected a sense of commitment to the community.
[10:30] Emily narrates the experiences that inspired her career choice of a Family Enterprise Adviser.
[15:35] The legacy lifestyle defined, with examples from Emily's childhood.
[19:26] The value of work and its role in Family wealth creation.
[21:11] The concept of a Family Bank is most appropriate for anyone doing succession or wealth transition planning.
[22:05] The Foundation and Components of the Family bank approach.
[27:04] Reasons why 70% of families at each ge...