The Amanda Ferguson Show

Here we are, the final episode of the “That Girl” series! I can’t believe it! Today I want to talk more about atmospheres and really dive into all the difference it can make in your life and in your conversations. If you are a part of my blog community, then you probably read last Sunday about how I took my daughter out of state to design school. Side note, if you aren’t a part of my blog community, make sure you subscribe at https://www.amandaferguson.org. The reason why my husband and I took my daughter out of state to design school, was we discovered she was just too advanced for her current school and needed a change in atmosphere. She needed to be in the right community to flourish. If you’ve read my Woman, Arise book available at https://www.womanarisethebook.com, then you know I talk about the difference of how I grieved my mother’s passing and my miscarriage. It was community - grieving with the right people made all the difference. As adults, I think we underestimate the power of community. I’e watched my children on their first day of school find a friend. Our nature is to desire community for bonding and when we stop craving that, usually its because of offense or anger. So, I want to share three things that will help you find the right community:

1.{3:48} Atmospheres are important. Being in the right atmosphere can replenish and refresh you. If you are in the wrong atmosphere, it can drain you and suck the life out you. Taking my daughter out of state introduced her to a new atmosphere that refreshed her and was a place where she could grow. If you aren’t growing in your atmomosphere, then something in you is dying because we are made to flourish. What type of atmosphere are you in now?

2.{5:35} What conversations are you entertaining? Conversations around beauty, your life, God’s design and your visions are life giving conversations. Conversations of gossip, unforgiveness and bitterness only produce chaos. Conversations you entertain, will be what you produce in your life. Ask yourself this: are the conversations you are having life giving, energizing and healing to you? In that new atmosphere my daughter was in, I noticed she was having different conversations with the other girls who had been there before. They were teaching her new things. Feminine Collective is just like that and it’s not my community our community. It’s for us women who want to live for Jesus. It was amazing to see how quickly my daughter adapted and lit up during those conversations. When you see other women tearing each other down, I want you to be a part of the solution that says, “Why are you tearing down someone that you don’t know?” I’ve seen some of my closets friend ripped to shreds over false opinions online. Be the type of woman with a different conversation. Every person who tries to attack you when you are putting your best foot forward, don’t let that get to you.

3. {12:04} Future planning. Where there is no vision the people perish. One thing I noticed, was that all the girls were sharing with each other what they would make in the future. Some said they would design wedding dresses or anniversary dresses and my daughter said she will even make me a birthday dress. The point is they were all submersed in the vision for their future. My thought is this: I cannot bond over the past, I’m not there anymore. Last thing, you were not made to be a loner, you were made to be in community. That’s something that me and over a hundred ladies are building in Feminine Woman Collective and I want you to be a part of it. Registration officially closes tonight, so make sure to visit http://femininewomancollective.com to join vibrant community of women encouraging women.

Scriptures:

Proverbs 29:18

This week's episode is about being a softer feminine woman. Many of you know I was sexually abused as a child and in turn, I did not want to be soft, but very tough. So, listen to this episode with open ears and an open heart. Then I want to see you tomorrow in Feminine Woman Workshop group where I’ll be LIVE to talk about this episode. You can join the group at no cost at https://femininewomanworkshop.com.

1. Your Relationship with Christ is the Foundation {3:08} Worship to God is amazing; there is nothing more beautiful than to layout in the presence of God. Worship is where we pour we our hearts out to God like water. God does not need a break from you. You may have poured out your heart to others and they said it was too much or criticized you for it. It's not too much for God; He cares about every detail of your life.

2. You Have to Heal {10:28} On the inside, I had a soft nature, but I didn’t want to show it. Even after I was saved, I had the residue of my past and had to do the work to return to God’s original design for me. I felt like I was sexually abused as a child by my youth pastor because I wasn’t tough enough. As a teenager, I decided to change my nature, so no one could take advantage of me. I became the attacker who fought people, cursed them out, and was very sarcastic. Sarcasm is a trauma response and means to tear, cut, and rip. God did not intend for women to be harsh, rough, hard, or sarcastic. Whatever you don’t heal from, you will perpetuate yourself.

3. Watch Your Tone {21:12} It’s not about what you say, but how you say it. From experience, when you've been through trauma and never let your guard down, you hurt people. Being tired or frustrated, is no excuse to have a harsh tone. In my life, when I am frustrated or overwhelmed, I am honest with my children. Sometimes I put on worship music and change the atmosphere. My kids need to see me face difficult times and overcome trials. This makes them resilient. Moms you don’t have to be perfect, let your children see you work through it in an age-appropriate way.

4. Watch Your Posture {30:31} Posture and poise can affect your outfit and overall look. I haven’t always known how to walk in heels - I had to practice. With anything, if you want to improve on it, you must practice. I teach more on this in my Feminine Woman Academy.

5. Pamper Yourself {34:26} We can get so busy that we don’t take our time. Before I was saved, I got up at the very last minute to get ready for work. It’s better to take your time getting ready by moisturizing your skin, brushing your hair, and doing your make-up to look your best. Listen, if you haven’t been taking your time getting ready every day, can we all commit together to looking our best? There are so many resources available at no cost to help you along the way. Let’s take enough time for ourselves, so we can feel what it’s like to be soft and pampered.

6. Listen without Being Defensive {47:33} A part of being a softer feminine woman is being a good listener. I used to be very defensive. I would be quick to respond, ready to outtalk anyone, and ready for attack. I learned in my past friendships to listen even if I didn’t agree. However, I find with Christians, that if anyone disagrees with them, it’s warfare. Everyone that doesn’t agree with you is not trying to attack you.
7. Change Environments {52:50} Sometimes you need to change environments. What I love about Feminine Woman Academy is that we have students from all over the world. You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. FWA is full of students who want to grow with other safe, like-minded women. Join the waitlist here.

You are special, unique, extravagant and everything about you, down to the details, make you unlike anyone else on this planet. Considering that there are 7 billion people on earth, that is saying something! And it is true.

God does not make copies. You are a masterpiece, formed by the greatest artist ever known. The same goes for your personal story. The world is waiting to connect with someone just like you.

In this episode, I want to encourage you to use your voice and tell your story because it will make all the difference to millions. I know that this can seem easier said than done. With some training and practice, you can master this skill and begin touching lives all around the world.

The first challenge is to get the boldness to share your story. The second challenge is on mastering how to tell your message to others in an impactful way. You already know your story is unique, now you just need to know how to make it memorable and easy to understand.

Here I will teach you how to tell your story in the most skillful way possible, to truly make your amazing story connect in a lasting way with others. I have three tips that you do not want to miss!

How to Tell your Unique Story to Others:

[15:08] Create your content. This means, write down the details of your testimony on paper and think it through. If you have never done this before, chances are you missed some powerful details that you forgot about!

[16:43] Learn the art of telling your story. You should be able to tell your complete unique story in five minutes. Yes, I said five minutes. This always calls for learning to refine your voice. This will take practice because not everyone knows how to control their pitch, tone, and diction.

[21:43] Copywriting. Find your unique voice via words. This can be done through writing, books, ads, emails and more. This goes along with perfecting your niche.

Resources Mentioned:

The Amanda Ferguson Story

Amanda Ferguson on Joni Table Talk

Femininewomanacademy.com

Amandasclub.com

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast.

For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson. Thank you so much!

Back in another episode, we are talking about mother wounds. Wounds can run deep and unseen. They have aftereffects, trauma, and pain. A mother is one of the most important figures in your life, which is why wounds in this area hurt the most.

No matter how tumultuous your relationship, the wounds between a mother and child can be restored. You may think your case is the exception, but that’s not true.

Even with all the hurt, the good news is that wounds can be healed! Here, I take you through my story of the relationship I had with my mother before she passed away. Trust me, it was not cute mom and daughter lunch dates. I went through my own personal journey of internal healing and restoration. The key point to remember here is that no mother is perfect.

Let me help teach you how to get on the road to healing, freedom and joy. I am going to take my mask off, in hopes that you are encouraged to do the same.

Healing Mother Wounds:

1. [6:25] Go back to the place of pain. The root of all your pain and trauma cannot be dealt with until you confront the memories and origins of where it all began. The first step is always the one people want to skip, when it in fact is the step that will ensure your healing.
2. [7:15] Forgive yourself for making mistakes. Just as there is no perfect mother, there is no perfect daughter. Consider how your own actions or behavior may have added unto strains in your mother-daughter relationship. After this, recognize, learn, rectify and grow from those mistakes!
3. [12:10] Apologize. Mothers and daughters. You could be one apology away from restoring your relationship! Do not allow pride to get in the way of restoration.
4. [26:53] Admit that you needed a mother and maybe still do. If you have gone a long time without the active positive presence of your mother, you may tell yourself that you do not need her. That your life is perfectly fine without her. Deep in your heart you need to acknowledge that this is not true. Every mother has something to offer you. Find those pearls and extract what you can.
5. [34:25] Do not be consumed with what your mother is not. Instead remember what she is. Maybe your mother is not affectionate, but she taught you how to cook and clean. You might not have had the bonding experience of baking together, but because of her wisdom in the kitchen, you know to cook delicious meals. Focus on all the good.

Scripture Referenced:
Ruth chapter 1 and 2.

Don't forget to grab your Mother/Daughter Relationships Freebie here:

https://amandaferguson.org/episode6/

Subscribe & Review in iTunes

Have you subscribed to The Amanda Ferguson podcast? If you have not, I would encourage you to do that today. I would not like for you to miss any of the episodes coming up this season. I will be adding bonus episodes and if you are not subscribed there might be a possibility that you’ll miss out on them. Click here to subscribe in iTunes to have the podcast downloaded to your device every week.

I would love to stay connected with you! If my podcast is blessing your life, I would appreciate if you left me a review over on iTunes. Select the Ratings & Reviews and write a review. I will be reading your reviews and do not forget to comment on what was your favorite part of the podcast.

For more The Amanda Ferguson Show, you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mrsamandaferguson. Thank you so much!