The 100 Word Stories Podcast

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Lisa
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Pester

LIZZIE

These pillows are good quality, she thought. The price was acceptable. So, she bought them. She placed them in her garden, dreaming of perfect soireés with her super elegant friends dressed in their pricey clothes, smiling fake smiles, dragging along bored little husbands with perfect bank accounts that they spent in perfectly useless facial creams. Argh! She hated them. The pillows. Good quality. Well... Would they endure something rougher, she wondered, something a bit more... But then she remembered her mother’s words “a clean conscience makes a soft pillow”. Perhaps she shouldn’t have wiped those perfect smiles off their faces.

RICHARD

My bed!

Pillows, magazines, computer keyboards and laptops. These are all perfectly acceptable surfaces to sleep on... If you’re a cat.

The general rule is to select a space that will be the most inconvenient and inappropriate for one’s owner, and occupy it in a manner that is so cute and adorable that only the most heartless of people would consider summary eviction.

Which clearly makes me a very bad person, if the resentful feline stare currently fixed on me is anything to go by.

I won’t be long, I promise.

And once I’ve typed this story, the keyboard is all yours.

SERENDIPIDY

I’ve never believed you can smother someone to death with a pillow.

Let’s face it, if pillows were that dangerous, they’d be covered in health warnings, and every time you went to bed you’d be in imminent danger of inadvertently committing accidental suicide!

They also don’t work for muffling gunshots to the head. I’ve tried it, and it makes no difference at all.

However, those polythene bags that new pillows come in are a different story altogether.

Capacious, easy to carry and dispose of, and totally airtight -fatal every time.

You end up with a lot of spare pillows though!

TOM

While sleeping not good to stop breathing.

I remember going into the Cpap Store. There was this deck top poster of a guy, 50ish, gray temples; faced forward wearing a knowing hint of a smile, and a full Monty mask. Think it was a ResMed AirFit F20. Lots of rigid plastic giving off a Bane/Hannibal vibe, that in fact lacked the high wattage personality of either. No one in the history of Cpaps didn’t look stupid to down right silly. To uses the damn thing, you have to value over this hurtle and embrace your going to look stupid. So, in that sprite I ware Air Pillows.

841 – 972

Angel of Death

Major Cristen Larson was mentally extremely flexible in abstract think. The product of A FEW Thousands of years of diligent breeding. Her Count Zero plan terrified the war college. The general consensus of the high council was this experiment had gone too far. They promptly locked the Major in a Virtual reality matrix. From within Larson hacked the central computer and collectively fried the entire council. Her matrix then knifed through the Emperor’s ice field to stand before the throne of Shadus the Five. “Very resourceful,” quipped the Emperor. This was how Major Cristen Larson became LT. Colonel Cristen Larson.

LISA

Outside

It’s a kitchen that he’s led Pippa into. Ceiling high sash windows reveal deep snow outside and she blinks against the brightness. He asks her what they need and ‘Freedom’ comes out as ‘Pillows’.

She doesn’t want to be their spokesperson. She stares past him; out of the window at the snow. Escape would be futile. It’s drifted, deep and seems to stretch forever. Something unspoken hangs between them and she fills the silence by repeating the word Pillows, then adds a ‘Please’.

She wants to get back to the basement, back to the others and away from his stares.

NORVAL JOE

Scowling, Sabrina crossed her arms like Linoliumanda’s presence was a personal affront.
They gathered around the sinkhole and stared at the jeep, sitting in the mud at the bottom. The oozy slime wasn’t as cushy as pillows but must have softened the jeep’s landing, as the Black Knights didn’t appear to be injured.
Linoliumanda continued to walk away.
“Linoliumanda,” Billbert called.
“Linoliumanda,” Buhmilda repeated.
“Linoliumanda?” Sabrina asked.
Linoliumanda turned and shouted, “Stop calling me that.”
Billbert scratched his head. “Why? That’s your name.”
She stomped her foot. “I know. But it’s too long. I wish people would call...

• Lisa
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is car crash... which I forgot to tack on to here. Did any of y’all notice? Did any of y’all write me about it?

LISA

A Missing Man.

It’s agreed – no one is uncomfortable. No one is really that distressed. Apart from some of us missing family, or pets, or partners the benefits of being here far outweigh the cons. It’s an odd thing.

Anything we want he brings us. I’d asked for pen and paper so am at last able to write this down. We agree it’s the not knowing why we’re here that worries us.

Strangely we haven’t seen him for a few days. We have enough snacks and drinks down here so we relax a bit more talking about him, knowing that he’s not listening.

RICHARD

WLTM

‘Good looking, thirty something blonde with GSOH would like to meet sane, solvent man, as a friend with benefits.’

The ad stood out amongst all the others. Unlike them, she didn’t come across as desperate, and I liked how it was short, snappy and to the point. She seemed confident. Just the kind of woman I liked, and the complete opposite of my ex-wife.

Messages were exchanged and a meeting was arranged.

The night of our date, I’ll admit I was nervous. Flowers... Chocolates? Check. Then the doorbell rang.

“Hi honey” HE said! “Ready to have a good time?”

LIZZIE

Love is such an illusive word. It’s not a word, she promptly said, it’s a feeling. And there I sat, wondering what she meant. She had never loved anyone and here she was, full of herself, pontificating about love. I just sat there, chain-smoking, which she hated. She pretty much hated everything about me. I’m not sure why she married me. In the end, love is such an illusive word, isn’t it? It just means that sometimes you do things for love. She wouldn’t have to suffer with my wrong-doings. That hammer was indeed sturdy, as promised at the store.

SERENDIPIDY

Fringe benefits, that’s what I call them. The sort of things that some would pay a lot of money for: Privacy, solitude and the contentment that I’m rarely going to be bothered by cold callers and strangers at the door.

And all I have to do to enjoy these benefits is to continue perpetuating the stories that circulate about ‘the mad woman in the corner house’.

My reputation goes before me, and people avoid me like the plague, which suits me absolutely perfectly.

It’s a great lifestyle and I have no complaints, which is more than my neighbours can say!

TOM

Progressive Rock

In 1970 my mother was the manager of the record dept at our local department store. So she got a 20% discount very cool. I bought Tull’s Benefit, think it was like $3.75. It was a bridging album pointing to what was to come. A little stretch into the creative process. If you hadn’t had Benefit it would have been unlikely Aqualung, Thick as a Brick, or A Passion Play would have seen the light of day. Paul Stump, in his History of Progressive Rock, said that Benefit ” offered the listener new bearings in his or her music search.

Carl

In 1921 the Czech playwright Karel Čapek coin the term robot from a Czech word for forced labor. His play R.U.R. Rossumovi Univerzální Roboti (Rossum’s Universal Robots) focus on the evils of corporate greed. The robots in RUR are more Blaid runner than Terminator. Organic structures from the dark landscape of eugenics. The Play was a worldwide success. In the American production Spencer Tracy and Pat O’Brien played robots. One critic described Čapek’s robots as epitomizing “the traumatic transformation of modern society by the First World War and the Fordist assembly line. O brave new world, That has such people in’t.

NORVAL JOE

The 911 operator continued, “I don’t know how it benefits you delinquents to waste first responders’ time and taxpayers’ money. You’re not wasting ours.” She hung up.
Billbert flew back to the meadow and low over the grass.
The shooter faced away, talking to the Black Knights.
Billbert crept over to the old woman. “Buhmilda?” He touched her side and she fell over, her glassy eyes staring blankly.
He went to Sabrina. She moaned. Blood oozed from the wound in her leg.
Billbert looked up to see Linoliumanda running to him.
The Black Knights were too busy talking to notice.

PLANET Z

The Benefits Department handles all the insurance and other stuff for the company.
They also offer referrals to legal services, relocation experts, and even one of those New Age Feng Shui weirdos.
So, I figured, why not?
This sh...

• Lisa
• Zackmann
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Position

That Erica Writes site I was talking about with Friday prompts (and she does a 50-worder where you write the last 50 words).

LISA

Escape

Someone whispered ‘Good Luck’ as we set off tiptoeing up the stairs, slow shaky steps away from our prison. We found ourselves in a narrow dimly lit corridor. The air smelled fresher up there: we had been locked up a while. The walls were lined with bookcases, like helpless moths we made for the light at the end of the passageway.

My nose twitched at the faint smell of a coal fire ahead. As we approached the floorboards, that had been as quiet as the grave, gave a bloodcurdling screech and we sprinted back to the safety of the basement.

RICHARD

Ikea? – I can’t!

“So, what do you think?”

I could tell from the pregnant pause, and the slightly embarrassed look on my wife’s face that my flat pack building skills could possibly need a little more work.

“Well... It’s a bookcase, of sorts”, she mumbled.

That was a bit of a blow.

“A bookcase? It’s supposed to be a bedside cabinet!”

“Ah”, she continued, “so what exactly is that other pile of wood and screws, then?”

“Spares!” I replied confidently.

She took my hand, and smiled solicitously, “Tell you what, love, why don’t we just buy a ready-made one from the store?”

ZACKMANN

After a Christmas dinner I opened my gift from my son to find I had received a DVD copy of “The Hogfather” which I had been hinting I wanted for a year and a half. I thought it would be cool that my future rewatches would be advertisement free. It could rest on top of the Pratchett paperbacks when not in the video player.

Not to be outdone, my son’s wife handed my wife, She Who Must Be Obeyed, her gift. My wife opened a framed picture of an ultrasound. I now expect my superhero name will be Grandpa Zackmann

TOM

October 25 1415

Our house is filled with bookcases. Floor to ceiling. Mostly pine with a few oak. It’s An eclectic collection from graphic novels to exploration of the Higgs boson. The complete works of Tolkien and the collected works of Shakespeare. While I have a soft spot in my heart for the Tempest the speech in Henry the V is wire in the blood. On field of Agincourt young Harry spoke:

Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remembered;

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers

Bonanza

When I was growing up the number one program of TV was Bonanza. My Dad loved the show because during the war he met one of the actors. That was Dan Blocker. It’s pretty weird number of people my dad met during the war. Seems he got his front teeth knocked-out was actual written up for damaging government property. While in hospital he met a young Blocker recovering from wounds he sustained holding Pork Chop Hill. My dad remembered him as a gentle man in a huge body. He said he had size 14 boondocks. Dad always called boots boondocks.

NORVAL JOE

Mandi burst into tears. “We have to help those people.” She sprinted toward the meadow.
Billbert shot forward and caught her. “Wait. You don’t want to get shot too.”
The crisp chatter of semi-automatic gunfire continued from beyond the trees.
He pulled out his phone. “Darn. No connection.”
Billbert looked up at the sky. “Maybe I can get some bars above the trees. Stay here, please.”
Mandi wiped her nose with the back of her hand and nodded.
Phone in hand, Billbert shot above the trees.
The driver stood atop his septic tank service van, following Billbert with his AR-15.

TURA

Bookcase; Vulgar
———

My Library exists more outside this world than in it. Those who enter in search of a long-lost tome may find it, if their heart is pure, but otherwise only a spurious imitation. Those drawn by vulgar curiosity will find only vulgar curiosities. Those who seek enlightenment may find it, or something they take for enlightenment but which drives them mad. And those who seek to know how the Library came to be are never seen again, following reference after reference, ever deeper amongst the endless corridors of bookcases.

Therefore take care what you seek, lest you find it.

PLANET Z

Guilty. On all counts.
Of what?
Edgar sat in his cell, unable to remember anything.<...

• Lisa
• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Tom
• Planet Z

The next topic is You’ll never believe

LISA

He brought us today’s newspaper! Finding out that it’s March makes my tummy lurch. It feels odd reading and finding out that life has just gone on without us. But, it seems it has. I’m almost disappointed that we’re not spoken about on every page.

There’s actually nothing about any of us.

The headlines are full of a missing boy. A boy: from across the river. I scour the article, the police cogs in my brain whirring, it makes three missing lads in the last month. It’s weirdly as if it’s written about us but they’re boys that have disappeared.

RICHARD

Never a cross word

I don’t know why I bother with the crossword, I rarely manage to complete it.

I had a vague idea it might keep my brain active, perhaps prevent the onset of future senility, but I have my doubts.

This morning’s effort wasn’t going well.

Nine across: seven letters, B, something, something, F, something, L, something, D; ‘Perplexed, the flow is obstructed’. What sort of a rubbish clue was that?

Perhaps dementia was already setting in?

Taking a slurp of coffee didn’t make things any clearer, and I put my pen down, defeated.

Yes, I’ve given up once again. Completely... Baffled.

LIZZIE

She sat down in the cabine across the aisle from me. She didn’t smile when I smiled. She looked down, her hands on her lap. It was pouring. I always worried about everything. In my mind, she worried too. So, I wanted to go over to her. A hug. Or perhaps I could hold her hand. As her husband-to-be, I heard someone say, closed the door, she took a quick glimpse at me and waved a shy wave. We never talked, but every year we would make the same trip. And I would wait a whole year for that wave.

SERENDIPIDY

How do I get the seriousness of your situation across to you?

All I’m asking you to do is confess your sins and recant your faith – just say the words – not exactly difficult, is it?

I simply need to hear you say it, and then you can go free. No need for any more torture, pain or tears. I can make it all go away, but first I need to hear you say it.

My impatience grows. Your refusal to speak is becoming irritating.

Although, coming to think of it, maybe I should have waited before cutting out your tongue?

NORVAL JOE

Billbert grabbed the rifle from the man’s fingertips and stepped back as the helicopter flew across the treetops and dropped down into the meadow by Sabrina. Swat team members spilled from the open doors.
A loudspeaker squelched. “Put the rifle down and put your hands in the air.”
Knowing that if he’d been Black, Billbert would already be dead, he threw the rifle to the ground.
The van driver ran for the trees and Billbert lowered a hand to point at him. “That’s the guy...”
The loudspeaker cut him off. “Put your hands in the air or we will shoot.”

TOM

It seemed like a good idea at the time

It took either an amazing amount of courage or galactic stupidity. Neither of these terms were available to Pa-Pi. He only had about 300 words in his head, half were getting food, food itself, what animals want him for food. When he put the lashed timber together and dropped it in the water, the locals laughed there asses off. Ass was pretty very useful for collective humor. They hadn’t really invented joke yet. Mostly rocks and fire. It was a rough ride across the water, but he made it. Pa-pi was the first human to leave Africa. The other followed.

849

She could me Boo

Jack entered fatherhood late, but with full on commitment. He even did messy dippers. When toys were purchased, they had been researched for maximum educations value. He also had clear idea of paternal names he truly dislike. Pops was an athame. Daddy was so prosaic. Father so formal. Dad so 1950s. Jack want to be Pa-Pa. A medieval patrona. He wanted a family that would fit in comfortability int a production of Fiddler on the Roof. He saw to himself as the paterfamilias. Of course, the girl, as children will disregarded his wishes. Somehow an early game of peek-a-boo took.

PLANET Z

Bobby started the Neuralink, and his bedroom turned into the classroom.
Bobby liked to log in early, because the good teachers filled up quickly.
Sure, teachers all looked the same, but the people driving the avatars varied.
The state kept offshoring more and more teachers, so you could end up with some Bangladesh contrac...

I blew up a bit in this one... leave a comment to let the writers know if you liked their stories.

• Richard
• Lizzie
• Lisa
• Serendipidy
• Tura
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Riot Of Color

RICHARD

Old Videos

Tucked away at the back of the wardrobe, I’ve several boxes, stuffed full of old videos.

I’ve had them boxed up for around twenty years now, and they’ve followed me through at least three house moves, carefully packed up, transported, and put away in their new home.

Why have I kept them?

Through some vague sense, of ‘I might want to watch them, one day’? Not that I’ve anything to play them on anyway.

And the fact is, I’ve not watched any of them in the last twenty years, and probably never will.

But I keep them.

Just in case.

TURA

Old Videos
———
I have a stack of VHS tapes I’ve never got around to watching. I still have a VCR, but I never have the time. I could convert them to digital files, but my video to USB converter is so old it’s not compatible with my current OS. I could replace it, but when will I find time to do the conversion? Will I ever watch them anyway?

If I put this off too long, the tapes will degrade and won’t be playable at all. Then at last I’ll be able to dump them.

Maybe I should just dump them now.

LISA

Something Nasty in the Woodshed

Me and Simon had only gone round to help Fay next door clear the attic. Her husband had died a month ago, him and Dad had been as thick as thieves. She was moving somewhere smaller.

There were boxes of old video tapes up there with dates and girls names on. We’d seen the documentaries so joked about our serial killer neighbour.

After unearthing an old player we stopped for lunch and watched a video. It was much worse than we suspected. And it looked like he buried them in their garden.

“Fuck!” said Simon “is that your Dad digging?”

SERENDIPIDY

There are old videos of life in the village: Life before the calamity.

Grainy, blurred videos in washed out colour of picnics on the village green, laughing toddlers at the playground, couples, friends, families happy and relaxed, without a care in the world.

There’s even the odd wedding video.

Good times. Nobody could ever have imagined the horror that was to come.

It was a fine spring day, late in June. The sun was shining, and people were going about their business, blissfully unaware of what was coming their way.

For that was the day I arrived at the village.

LIZZIE

“Come on. It’s starting,” I said. Old videos and popcorn!
But... I had forgotten. Our old videos don’t go with popcorn. They go with sorrow.
“Say cheese for the camera,” they would say cheerfully.
We never did, no.
“Don’t be so grumpy all the time, you two.”
We were kids. We weren’t grumpy. We weren’t stupid. We weren’t shitheads. We were just kids.
Memory is such a trickster, isn’t it? It erases everything.
And here I was, in front of the TV, a bowl full of popcorn on my lap.
I wanted to cry, but I had no tears left.

NORVAL JOE

The woman seemed surprised by Billbert’s request for a back exit. Then she smiled and led them past a rack of dusty VHS movies for rent, through a door and into what appeared to be the woman’s home. A chunky man in a sleeveless t-shirt and gray slacks, sitting at a dining table didn’t look up from his newspaper as they traipsed past.
A back door led them to a wooden porch, forty feet above the placid Matole river.
The woman nodded to some stairs. “These will take you to a trail along the river, if that’s what you want.”

PLANET Z

Old Man Pinella sits in his home theatre, watching videos of the band.
Jason on guitar, Billy on bass, Joe on keyboards, and Wally on drums.
And then there was Vicky... oh, how she could sing.
The crowd was spellbound... after every song, silence.
And then the loudest applause and cheering and shouting.
The last video ends, and Pinella sits in the dark.
Remembering the band coming backstage, roadies packing up the equipment, and Pinella handing out plane tickets.
“I’ll see you in Chicago,” Pinella said to the dark screen.
He sips his coffee, and walks out of the theatre.