The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Dana rode the bus to work and back, so to pass the time, she’d listen to music and she took up knitting.
She started small, knitting socks for the homeless people on the bus.
Then she knitted scarves.
And then she knitted them some warm hats.
After that, she knitted blankets and sweaters.
Then, she knitted homes for them.
Knitting furniture and appliances to put in the homes.
Some asked her to knit booze and drugs for them.
With some reservations, she did.
A few went too far into alcoholism or drug abuse and died.
For them, she’d knit coffins.

• Lisa (Audio coming later)
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Benefits

LISA

A Chat

We talk seriously when we get back. I thought I’d smelled an open fire and I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I’d seen him watching behind the door. I wonder if I’m just enjoying recounting my adventure.

We all agree, we’re in an odd position. We’re prisoners, his prisoners but actually we’re all in an unlocked basement just because we don’t know what’ll happen if we leave.

I’m sure, at the start. He HAD locked the door. I want to talk about the other girls, the bodies that have been found, but I can’t.

A lot is left unsaid.

RICHARD

Seating plan

I always sit at the back of the plane.

Last row, aisle seat, no exceptions.

I think it’s the ideal position for surviving a crash.

Others disagree and tell me the seats next to the emergency exit are safer, better still, if they’re over the wing; but I disagree.

I prefer to have a solid bulkhead behind me, rather than bodies and debris flying through the air. And, let’s face it, if we’re going down, the tail is going to hit the ground last.

My employers disagree.

They think I should sit at the front... Like all the other pilots.

LIZZIE

The yacht was tired. The crew and the passengers were also tired. No radio signal.
The Captain looked at the First Officer. “Let’s rest here.”
Suddenly, something something “what’s your position?”.
“Captain, we need time to fix the hull.”
“We’ll stay here. Nice, tropical island. We’ll be fine.”
When the search party arrived, the locals snickered.
“Where are they? The yacht is right over there.”
The locals snickered some more.
No one was found.
However, there were some suspiciously fresh bones, hanging above the doors of the houses.
That’s when the search party decided to leave as quickly as possible!

TOM

By Grace Alone

When Timothy Cratchit graduated from Cambridge with honors in accounting, he was offered the position of junior partner by emeritus Chairman Scrooge. Along with his father CFO he became a strong supporter of the Abolitionist Movement in America. In 1878 he met Rev. John Parker and soon after set up an endowment in his adopted uncle’s name. There was a secret clause in the endowment as to the name of a future church. When Timothy died in 1890 he was buried in the graveyard of Ebenezer Baptist Church. On his marble stone is written the following: God bless us everyone.

Bleak Gadgets

John despite his creative output was a very convivial person. All the same his company produced Bleak Gadgets. Funeral parlors need products, John supplied them. The solar powered last words tombstone. The thermal lying In-wait body grid. Aurora Borealis Cremation Urns for Human Ashes Adult Female for Funeral, Burial or Home. Memorial Lantern Sympathy Gifts for Loss of Mom/Loved One Bereavement Gifts. Hydraulic Embalming Table High quality stainless steel, hydraulic foot pedals, locking wheels. The Viruserv VB Guardian electrostatic sprayer a workhorse that will help you disinfect your facility quickly, effectively, and with confidence The BioSeal Portable System fully contained

SERENDIPIDY

Put yourself in my position.

If I let you go, you’ll go straight to the cops, and I really can’t have that, can I?

So you may as well forget trying to persuade me otherwise, and focus instead on making things easier for yourself.

I may be callous and unfeeling, but I’m a reasonable person. Perhaps I can be persuaded to let you live?

And, if not, at least you can try to convince me that a quick, clean death is in everyone’s best interests.

If nothing else, you can say you gave it a shot.

Before I shoot you.

NORVAL JOE

From Billbert’s position above meadow he saw everything at once.
Sabrina lay with her leg off at an odd angle. Buhmilda knelt, bent over, clutching her stomach. The driver of the van swung his rifle upward and aimed at Billbert.
He flew toward town and punched 911 into his phone.
As soon as an operator answered, he shouted, “There’s an active shooter at Buhmilda’s meadow. Do you know where that is?”
“I do,” she replied.
Billbert said, “People have been shot. They need help. Send police and an ambulance.”
The operator scoffed. “Right. You’re probably just swatting the old lady.”

PLANET Z

There is nothing more dangerous than a dying animal.
What about two?
Lying in a pool of...

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
His crewmates wrapped him in white rags, and laid his body on a wooden plank.
Then, after a prayer, they tilted the plank and his body slid into the ocean.
“Amen,” they said.
The cold water woke George, and he realized that he’d been dumped overboard.
“Well, that’s nothing new,” he tried to say.
But he couldn’t. Because his mouth was full of water.
And he’d been bound and gagged.
“I hate being a heavy sleeper,” thought George, as he sank deeper and deeper into the water and unconsciousness.

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Instead of plundering and looting, he tended to give things away.
“You didn’t give away the cannons again, did you?” said the captain.
“That would be stupid,” said George.
“Or the cannonballs?” said the captain. “We kinda need those to use in the cannons.”
“Do you think I’m some sort of idiot?” said George.
“Yes,” said the captain. “What about the gunpowder?”
“Oh, come on,” said George. “I’m not doing that again.”
The captain ran down a list of supplies, not noticing that they were adrift without an anchor.

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
The rest of the crew never could figure out why the captain kept George around.
“Maybe he has a treasure map tattooed on his head?” said Rummy Bill.
“Well, then wouldn’t the captain just scalp George and get rid of the rest?” said Old Lefty.
After a few drinks, they decided to shave George’s head.
Surprisingly, George allowed them to do it, and when they were done, they found nothing.
George was relieved they didn’t ask for him to drop his pants to reveal the map on his ass.