35. Social Comparison & Why You are Not the Worst Mom Ever!

What is your favourite sound? One that really lifts your spirits and lightens your heart - maybe even gives you tingles or goosebumps - one that brings a smile to your face every time you hear it? Chances are... hopefully... you can name a few things that fit that category. Baby giggles, waterfalls, wind chimes, certain musical instruments, a cat’s purr, rustling leaves in the breeze...
what about the other end of the spectrum. What’s your least favourite sound? One that sends shivers down your spine, that makes you grit your teeth, or cringe and plug your ears?

Chances are, you’re also able to name a few unpleasant sounds that you really don’t like. AND, it’s likely that they are sounds that annoy other people as well - “universally disturbing sounds” - like the scraping of a fork on a plate, nails on a chalkboard, screaming babies, clicking pens, jingling change in someone’s pocket, grinding teeth, tapping pencils on the table...

Is there a sound though, that physically triggers you. And what I mean by “trigger”, is not just like a severe annoyance - I’m talking a sound that rocks you to your core, that kicks up your fight or flight response and enrages, and/or distresses you - probably illogically, and likely is a commonplace sound that most other people don’t even notice, or can seemingly ignore, such as someone’s breathing, or chewing, but can be impairing to your daily life.

If you were easily able to think of a triggering sound that fits that description, one that really sends you to the extreme, over the edge, that distresses you, or impairs you (or maybe you’re thinking of someone you know and love) then you (or they) may suffer from something called, Misophonia.
People with Misophonia, also called “Misophonics”, experience a heightened autonomic nervous system response (fight or flight) to specific trigger sounds - of any decibel, but usually soft sounds.

The areas of the brain responsible for noticing stimuli and paying attention to them, go into hyperdrive. That then leads to higher activity in other areas responsible for long-term memory, fear, and emotional regulation - suggesting that people with Misophonia aren’t processing those particular sounds the way they should.
When a trigger sound is detected, people with Misophonia experience immediate symptoms that can vary in severity, but typically include: muscle tension, headaches, stomach issues; emotional distress, the urge to flee, anger, disgust, rage, panic, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy; they worry,

They have difficulty focusing, they blame others of themselves; they try to escape, avoid, or withdraw from others, they may ask the person to stop the noise (sometimes not in the most friendly way - remember they are in a state of distress), and they may experience physical aggression toward themselves, others or objects. They may storm out, throw things, yell at others, lose control. And mostly feel guilty afterward because they realize it’s not the other person’s fault, and they think something is wrong with them.
Today, we'll learn more about Misophonia, how it presents, what's going on, and how to help.
Once again, I am reminded that we really have no idea what other people are dealing with at any point in time. So, just be kind. Be compassionate, empathetic. Be curious. Be supportive.

LINKS
Breaking the Sound Barrier: Teens With Misophonia
Misophonia test

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