Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

If you live with ADHD you know the precarious line that you can walk between fact and fiction. Whether you’re tempted to lie to yourself about what you’re capable of in a given time period or lie to your boss about what you’ve accomplished this week, the instinct to make those around you feel better by smoothing the edges of reality is strong.

This week, we’re thrilled to have Ari Tuckman back on the show to talk about ADHD and lies, the situations that are most likely to cause you to push that button, and how to reframe your behavior and make amends if you’ve found yourself in uncomfortable, lie-inducing situations.

Links & Notes

Thank you for supporting The ADHD Podcast on Patreon!

• Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA
• ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship by Ari Tuckman
• Tell Me No Lies: How to stop lying to your partner — and yourself — in the four stages of marriage by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson
• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (00:35) - Support the Show: Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast
• (01:38) - A message from the future with Nikki! Group Coaching is OPEN!
• (03:49) - Introducing Ari Tuckman
• (05:11) - Thinking about "people who lie"
• (09:07) - The ADHD-lie-pile-on
• (10:40) - What happens when you're lying?
• (11:47) - Cultures of mistruth
• (14:36) - Lying as a social contract
• (18:20) - Lies at work
• (21:48) - Rehabilitation
• (26:04) - Little white lies
• (27:58) - Radical Candor
• (29:28) - Developing an integrity practice
• (32:29) - Lies and fight or flight?
• (33:35) - Trust-inducing behavior
• (36:55) - Recommendations

With over five hundred episodes across twenty-four seasons of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, it can be dizzying to figure out how to get started. That’s why we — Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright (your fair hosts) — recorded this episode. It’s for you, new listener, a brief guide that can help you get the most out of the podcast and the fantastic ADHD community that runs through everything we do. Thanks for joining us on this ride. We hope you find what you’re looking for!

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (01:09) - Where to Find Us
• (03:41) - Why a Podcast?
• (05:24) - About our Episode Numbering
• (08:45) - Our Purpose
• (10:25) - What do we talk about?
• (12:13) - Podcast Categories
• (15:29) - The Live Stream
• (17:34) - Joining the Community

ADHD is part of us. You’ll hear a lot of people talking about how they can help you “fix” your ADHD but they always seem to forget that first part. We’ve learned over the last few weeks about the nature of acceptance, of embracing the parts of us that are hard and approaching them with curiosity and courage. What happens when you fully integrate all of ADHD — challenges and blessings — into your identity? What can you learn about yourself and the way you face the challenges ahead?

This week on the show, a meditation on fault, blame, and what it really means to fix ADHD.

You might have heard of the stages of denial. But have you heard of the stages of acceptance? Dr. Dodge is back with us this week to share the similarities and differences between the two models and illuminate just how powerful it can be when discussing our relationship to ADHD.

Links & Notes

• Subscribe to The Change Paradox with Dodge Rea
• The Four Stages of Acceptance — Marty Cooper, MFT
• Listen to Nikki Kinzer and The ADHD Paradox on The Change Paradox with Dodge Rea
• Listen to Ted Klontz and Facing our Hardest Change Softly on The Change Paradox with Dodge Rea

Divorce is one of the greatest challenges we face. Even the best of divorces brings an emotional cost. Living with ADHD, the costs that come from disorganization and distraction can be so much higher.

Beyond the stress of dissolving your relationship, embarking on a journey into the legal system brings with it a raft of uncertainty and doubt — a system that cares very little about your ADHD. This week on the show, Tampa-based divorce attorney Seth Nelson joins us to help us understand where our ADHD will be most pressured, and where a great law firm can help you pull your weight.

About Seth Nelson

At Nelson Koster, the motto is “Helping good people through difficult times.” This is Mr. Nelson’s aim in every case, though how he works to achieve it varies greatly with each family’s unique situation.

From an early age, he has always wanted to help people. After law school he found that he could do the greatest good by helping people through one of the most difficult times of their lives. Being a divorcee himself, as well as a father, he understands what you’re going through.

Mr. Nelson focuses on Florida divorce law, Florida family law, and Florida family law mediation. He earned his Juris Doctorate from the University of Florida’s College of Law. After law school, he clerked for the Honorable John C. Godbold, Senior Circuit Judge for the United States Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals. Returning home to Tampa, he then worked for other Florida law firms before establishing his own practice in South Tampa. Since 2008, he has been the sole shareholder of Nelson Koster.

Links & Notes

• Nelson Koster Family Law and Mediation
• How to Split a Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships