Swordboys - Cut x Cut

The Swordboys (Rick, Robin and Jonathan) begin with one of the best sword movies of the 80s and beyond. 1986's Highlander starring Christopher Lambert, Clancy Brown and the incredible Sean Connery is near and dear to our hearts. We discuss the first 11 minutes of the Director's cut in this episode. We're in Madison Square Garden (kind of) in New York City (kind of) We're going to talk about the music, the movie making and the sword fights! Movie timestamp: 00:00:00 - 00:11:16

Here they are: the Swordboys. Jonathan. Robin. Rick. Here to discuss the movies that answer one very important question: does it have a sword in it? If it does, you can bet that they will discuss it cut by cut, across multiple episodes, from hilt to tip, sharing their vast expertise in swordsmanship, metallurgy, and swashbuckling. En garde!

For this final truncated cut, we discuss our wishes for a Jade Fox origin story, some of the best acting we have ever covered so far, and how we would have ended the movie because the way it ends is pretty baffling to us. Also, Robin is incensed by the purple yin, Rick is stunned at how deceitful 8-year-old girls can be, and Jonathan remembers why he never liked this movie.

Finally, as always, we discuss at length about whether this movie gets our sword, and some of the criteria we look for to determine that. Runtime: 01:39:20 - 02:00:05 NEXT UP: KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR"

Good gravy, Marie! The Swordboys (including a sleepy Jonathan) turn to Chapter 2 of KILL BILL as we encounter some timeline shenanigans with our heroine outlined in chalk on the floor of an El Paso chapel. We are still trying to trace the trajectory of Bill's magic bullet, and get some help from Earl and Edgar McGraw, familiar faces to fans of Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. At Perdido Hills Hospital, Elle Driver accessorizes her eyepatch, and prepares to twist some nerves and kill The Bride in her sleep, but is stopped by Bill, wielding our first sword of the movie. Four years later, The Bride wakes up in the coma ward from hell, run by the disorderly orderly Buck.

We feel queasy about his bedside manners but it does lead us to discuss knuckle tattoos and the effects of a severed Achilles tendon. Soon enough, she finds her way to the Pussy Wagon and we get all into feet. Grab a hairy tub of Vaselube, wiggle your big toe and kiss your Dixie cup full of toothpaste, our last bit of advice is to avoid Italian restaurants with no windows or Italians. Also, the D is silent. Cling clang! TWBA Runtime: 00:16:10-00:35:57 Volume One Runtime: 00:16:08-00:35:58 Confused? Just watch Chapter 2: The blood-splattered BRIDE

Oh gosh, this one is a doozy! We have arrived at the Last of Earth! Cut-out He-Man flies his pizza stone and finally pulls his sword out while Man-At-Arms and Teela shoot questions first and ask blasters later! We learn about Sexy Skeletor bits and the origins of Snake Mounting. Julie Ackbar gets her leg manipulated while Skeletor reminds Evil-Lyn to blast his cache.

We take the space butthole back to Eternia where there’s a really rude robot announcer and Blade gets to be a Whip Boy. Robin starts his Earth First campaign, Rick explains all the technobabble and Jonathan announces his epitaph in Cut 5 of Masters of the Universe! Runtime: 01:10:09 - 01:27:23