Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding - 45: "Help! I'm going on a work trip" 3 ways to prep dad & breastfed toddler for their first night alone together

45: "Help! I'm going on a work trip" 3 ways to prep dad & breastfed toddler for their first night alone together

04/22/24 • 29 min

This week I'm answering a coaching call question from an extended breastfeeding mom:
"My toddler often doesn't accept dad at night when she wakes up crying. I am and have always been the preferred parent. I have just found out about a work trip I need to take which will have me away from my 2-year-old overnight for the first time. Typically, I feed her to sleep and to resettle throughout the night. If I am out of the house for bedtime, she does goes to sleep for other people, but it often takes a lot longer than if I am doing bedtime.

Wondering if you had any tips that might help them both prepare for my work trip over the next few weeks and allow dad to be involved in general?"
While there are a lot of things can be done to indirectly support a family in this situation, in this podcast episode, I break down a simple 3 part strategy to support a non-breastfeeding parent & a breastfed toddler for their first night(s) alone together.
Whether you decide to night wean ahead of time or not (and I do explore this a little more in the episode), bolstering and leveraging your child's connection with the person who will be caring for them is key to a relaxing time apart.

Find more opportunities for playful interactions between dad & kiddo (without pulling back from your own playful interactions with your child.)
Utilizing "bridging" tools to help your child feel connected with you even when you are apart and help that separation feel less scary and intense.
Expand the non-breastfeeding caregiver's capacity to hold space for the feelings that may come up.

Resources Mentioned:
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/

Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guide
Love this episode?! Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. <3

Find more opportunities for playful interactions between dad & kiddo (without pulling back from your own playful interactions with your child.)
Utilizing "bridging" tools to help your child feel connected with you even when you are apart and help that separation feel less scary and intense.
Expand the non-breastfeeding caregiver's capacity to hold space for the feelings that may come up.

Resources Mentioned:
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/

Previous Episode

44 - HELP! My toddler is struggling to listen first thing in the morning (and a quick personal update!)

**SUBMIT YOUR Q FOR ME TO ANSWER IN FUTURE EPISODES**
In this week's episode of Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding, I'm answering a question I received from a student in Own Your Breastfeeding Story.

"How can I encourage my 2 year old to settle down when he is on the bed with us?

We cosleep and most of the time especially in the morning when he wakes up, after he nurses from me, he immediately goes to wake up our 4 month old, or will start making big movements that will wake her up.

We try to explain to him that when the newborn is sleeping (or anyone) we whisper and we try not to disturb them.

Is this an unrealistic expectation of a toddler? What else can we do? "

This kind of situation comes up in lots of different contexts - and for tandem breastfeeding moms, it can feel particularly loaded.

Breastfeeding is your number one tool, but maybe your toddler isn't interested, or maybe YOU aren't interested. Are you destined to have a horrible day that begins with a stressful morning?

In the episode I share a few different things to consider, and give some practical support:

1 - Check in with YOUR expectations first.

2 - Set your little one up for success by talking about this issue outside of the moment.

3 - Support them to have something else to do.

4 - Playfully engage with them to put them into a receptive state and avoid having to tell them what to do/not to do altogether.

Next Episode

46: How "Felt Safety" makes a difference when breastfeeding (and generally adulting!)

I'm back!
It's been a hot minute since I've posted a new episode, but I am here!
I'm also working on new content and resources - let me know what you want to hear about here.
As I have been navigating diagnosis, treatment, and recovery from a number of health issues while also serving breastfeeding toddler families, I have noticed a few parallels between my own path to health, and the path to breastfeeding & weaning ease.
In this episode I share about my own my sense of "felt safety" around wasps - yellow jackets to be exact, and how the timeline of the ebb and flow of the intensity of my fear coincided with the timeline of the intensity of my stress/overwhelm.
I use that parallel to describe how our stress as humans shows up in our breastfeeding & parenting.
From there, I provide 2 different ways to support a felt sense of safety so that you can in turn cultivate ease in your breastfeeding (and most other areas of life!):
#1 - Soaking in the positive moments (because our negativity bias feeds our fear/stress).
#2 - Meeting our fears/stress with kindness and self-compassion (because ignoring, catastrophizing, and/or arguing with ourselves only serves to reinforce and grow our fears and stress.)
Try these 2 things out this week and then use the "fan mail"/text me option to let me know how they have made a difference for you.

Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding - 45: "Help! I'm going on a work trip" 3 ways to prep dad & breastfed toddler for their first night alone together

Transcript

[transcript auto-generated]

[00:00:00] I'm back with another toddler breastfeeding question. This is a question that I get a lot inside of my group coaching program, as well as my emails and DMs. And we're talking about work trips and this necessity to leave your child with, another non breastfeeding parent or caregiver.

The question that I'll specifically be answering is this one. So my toddler often doesn't accept dad at night when she wakes up crying. I am and have always been t