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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real

Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real

spoiled-mind.com

Welcome to the Spoiled Mind Podcast. A podcast about Psychology, Philosphy and Sex. My Name is Ben and I will be the host of the show. Ben is not my real name, but I am pretty sure it doesn’t matter, because my storries, thoughts and topics are real. Motto of the show is: Lets be real. We will talk about topics out of the daily life. Probably have a heavy focus on sexual things, but don’t be suprised if I through you in the think box for Psychology or Philosophy. Feel free to ask any question you want and suggest topics you wanna hear more about. Mor blogs and information on https://www.spoiled-mind.com

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - My Sexual Background / History

My Sexual Background / History

Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real

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01/02/18 • 14 min

For the start it is maybe not bad to know something about my sexual background or historie, because we will talk a lot about Sex. I can’t really say that I am normal, but I am probably not really crazy as well. Fact is, that I love Sex and that I am very active.

The only thing I don’t want for this Podcast is to hold myself back. I wanna talk about the stuff I do, I think about, I wanna try or find awkward observing. My biggest requirement for myself is to be authentic. Sometimes I am probably a bit controverse as well. Just hope that it makes all sense at the end.

Listen up why I Love Sex and what it is to make me talk about it. *spoiler* Stay tuned, because I already got the first Sex Interview with a Latin girl I hooked up with on Tinder. We did a Interview before and after having Sex. YES! I was suprised as well that she agreed to that.

The post My Sexual Background / History appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - Spoiled Mind Podcast Introduction

Spoiled Mind Podcast Introduction

Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real

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01/01/18 • 9 min

It is finally out my first Podcast Episode. It is not really topic related. The Pilot Episode should help you to understand what I will talk about. Why I am talking about Psychology, Philosophy and Sex. You can expect minimum 12 Episodes in 2018, but ideally I try to get 24 Episodes out. Really depends on the mood and of course if people like it or not.

I am very open for suggestions, feedback or request. You can imagine that I have tons of things I would like to talk about, but I see this blog as a community, where people can share their ideas and thoughts. So let me pick you brain. If you think it is worth to interview you give me a hint =)

The post Spoiled Mind Podcast Introduction appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - Mexico Hookup – Interview before having Sex
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06/09/19 • 11 min

Interview before having Sex in Mexico

A very exciting Interview. It was the second of its kind (first interview of this kind). But let me explain first how it comes. I matched with a girl in Mexico on Tinder. Actually on a day where I just arrived and she was looking for someone to go to a party with. It was already so late, so we didn’t meet, but kept contact.

She is in an open relationship with her boyfriend. We talk about her deal with him and how the relationship works for her. From her side, it is a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” relationship because she is also jealous. We also talked about Mexican culture and how open relationships are perceived.

Sex in Mexico – what are girls into?

She liked public places, but in general she just like normal sex. In general, it seems that Mexican are pretty open-minded, but still have limits if it comes to culture. Also, threesomes are interesting but not as good as she expecting. For her kissing and touching are a super turn on. She also talked about a experience where she had sex within someone, who didn’t kiss her at all.

Insider: I do have some classy nude picture (you just can see my bump) and it was interesting to get feedback because for a lot of countries it is probably a no-go to show.

What comes next?

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode. In the next podcast episode, you will hear about what we did, what she liked and much more. It was a great and fun day. I really enjoyed my time with her and I am very happy to share the interview with you guys. So stay tuned =)

The post Mexico Hookup – Interview before having Sex appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - Mexico Hookup – Interview after having Sex
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06/23/19 • 13 min

Interview after having Sex in Mexico

I love to hear the mood after having Sex. It is so much more relaxed. Of course, we may sound a bit childish, but that’s probably all the endorphins. We talked about her first experience squirting and she did was surprised that she could do it again.

She liked to be on top and from behind. We talked about her preferences to have soft or hard Sex. We talk about several more things. One interesting thing is to describe how men should practice oral sex. Everyone is different. That’s why it is very fascinating to explore likes and dislikes together. Talking about after having sex should be kind of a normal thing. Not to show off, but to listen about what the other partner liked a lot and what they maybe want to improve.

No expectations are the best expectations

In general, it works best having no expectations. In her opinion, Latin guys are very selfish. You would be lucky to get an orgasm. Trust, confidence and communication is an important thing for having good Sex. She was very wondering why I didn’t ask her for a blow job. For me, there are two reasons. First, the pleasure of a woman is my pleasure. The other thing is that I can’t relax that much during a blow job. We still did a video for her boyfriend afterward.

Post Production thoughts

Hearing the Interview after a while was interesting. I just imagine a feature lover or partner would listen to the podcast or If I would be in the position of hearing such an intimate experience with her and someone else. Is it too much? Would you prefer the concept of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” or you want to share or even be there if your partner is with another person? Exploring being non-monogamous is very exciting, but also confusing for me. There are so many things which I would like to try, but I am also afraid of.

Just having in mind that also a lot of lovers I had were in open relationships or could imagine being in one. It is also very difficult for me to find similar open-minded people. Not just for Sex but are Sex positive and don’t look for a common modern relationship model. What do you think?

The post Mexico Hookup – Interview after having Sex appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - Why I like older women

Why I like older women

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08/19/18 • 12 min

First of all let me tell you that I don’t just date older women. I still meet and date younger girls. It is a preference and I am happy to share and explain it. There are a lot of different people out there. You can have your preferences and also happy if someone want to write about “why younger girls are better”. Send me the article here.

Older women know what they want

In my personal experience women know what they want in higher age. Maybe because they already tries couple of things. Maybe because I don’t want to be that person they try it out with and probably fail. Younger girls switch sometimes in what they expect or want. From Friends with benefits they start to think that it could be more. It can be really frustrating sometimes and takes away the sexual energy. I don’t know why, but I would always like to know what it is so I can put the right amount of time and energy in.

Older women often have more sexual experience

I know that this statement will roll your eyes. Of course the age doesn’t say anything about the experience. You can have had Sex with 20-30 guys in the age of 20 or 40. It doesn’t matter. That is the first point. The other is what kind of sex you have. With that I more less mean quality and variety of different things you tried.

But let me go with some vage arguments... An older women had more time to explore her own body. An older women also had more time to try things she really wants to try. And older women is more likely more mature with her sexual needs and get into the mode – I don’t care anymore. I wouldn’t even say older women are more active. At the end they likely know what makes them reaching an orgasm and know what they like and communicate it.

Older women are less complicated and financial independent.

I don’t wanna say they are never complicated but mostly less complicated than younger girls. Why? I think they are often better settled in life. They have a stable job or at least know where they wanna go. They are often in a time were they either have kids or don’t want them. Family planning is often over. Imagine a 37 year old women. She is horny as fuck, but you are not Mister right. She needs a fuck buddy, but don’t want a kid with you.

Some girls are already single mother and it is often taff, because you basically give up your life to provide all you can for your child. This women are crazy to get some sexual relief or maybe a day or night off to relax. They don’t look for a new daddy or anything complicated.

Younger girls still have so many options. Maybe they study and have no clue what to do after. They start their career and no clue yet what it means to go up in business. Same for their personal life and relationships. That can be really annoying. They are also often not financial independent yet. I am not the fan of financial support. Always happy to help and grow, but I also have my business stuff to deal with. Don’t get me wrong I would always stand up for a women to get equally paid, but in my position I just can raise my hand and word for it.

I can relax more with an older women

At the end I would summarize it like this: I can relax much more with an older women. Doesn’t matter how hard I fight with other people about how older women are or not. Everyone is different. Some stuff will be valid and others not. If everything goes wrong I get back to myself. I just feel better with an older women and I also can relax more.

With younger girls I often feel a bit pressured. That doesn’t come from the girl. Just from myself. If I would need to proof myself or teach them something. Often I need to lead. I would love to get to know a dominant women (a successful, confident and smart women is so fucking hot!). However I don’t mind different experience and it is still just a preference.

What is an old women or where is my age limit?

Maybe this question comes up. There is no definition for me. There was a time, when I said double my age, but I am getting older too. At the moment the age limit for me is 45. I did had an sexual encounter when I was 25 and she was 53. It was purely for sex. Of course there are some physical limits sometimes, but in general age is just a number, right?!

The post Why I like older women appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - How and Where to find Sex

How and Where to find Sex

Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real

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07/29/18 • 12 min

that will be a short article, because most things are said in the podcast. It is more less about the different places I know and what my experience is with different kind of ways. Also have to add that most of the places I will describe are online or social media.

Tinder

Tinder is probably the most famous way to find Sex. It is easy, casual and still not that bad. I know it has a bad reputation, but how easy is it to unmatch someone? I would love to have more options and filter. For example if someone looks for something casual, friendship or serious. Also what the person is into. At the end it just matter to meet someone and see from there. I often wanna check out in advance but if you agree to something and it doesn’t work out, it is weird.

What I also don’t like is the time you invest. I don’t want to check 100 profiles in 1-2 hours and swipe right in case I like the girl, because sometimes they didn’t read my profile and recognize after the match that they don’t wanna chat. Some don’t answer and in most of the cases it is a boring conversation anyway. That is why I always swap right and select after the match, because I have a natural filter already included. I just match with girls, who are interested in me.

I also try to swap as fast as possible to whatsapp, just to be free to also share more pictures or stay in a more private zone. If you stay in Tinder for long you stay there with a lot of other guys, who are hitting on her. It is the same game like getting her number. Meeting someone as soon as you feel it could be a real match. Maybe don’t think about when you would get her in bed. It happens when it happens...

As said in the podcast (nearly the end). Tinder is still the best way for me to meet new people and find sex. Not because I focus to find a sexual partner, but because it is the most used app for dating.

Facebook

I don’t know who is really using this to meet completely new people. I heard about it, but I doubt the success. I think Facebook changed pretty much our feeling of privacy. If you agree or not. But we don’t accept easily new friends anymore. We also think about what we share or not publicly. Still the general privacy sucks a lot, but at the end it is your choice. Tell me if you ever tried to meet completely new people via facebook and how it works for you.

Twitter

Twitter is a thing I discovered recently for me. For me it works to find people, who are interested in threesomes, Swinger or sexually niche stuff like cuckold or BDSM. It is still a very consuming manner. Never meet someone yet, but had 2-3 hot leads. For everything special I would try to search for people in Twitter.

Snapchat

Never really get Snapchat. It will always be a App for kids and teenager for me. Of course the filters are cool and it has some good points on its side, but really finding new people and meeting them in real life... nahhhh. You can consume some pictures and videos from girls, who like to share them or want to make money but that is it. Let me know if you think differently and share your experience.

Instagram

Same, Same but different. Barely meet someone I meet on Instagram. If yes, definitely not for Sex. Same for Snapchat. You probably find some girls, who like to share pictures or videos, but the rules are very strict. Don’t expect to see any nipples or a pussy. It is still funny for sexual quotes.

Craigslist

It was the first place back in my young days where I searched for Sexual encounters in the section He for She. It results in one BDSM romance I had in London. Lots of fake stuff and wasted time, but it was always exciting. Now it is not an option anymore. There is not that much in central and south america anyway. They recently closed/deleted the section. I guess new laws or privacy reasons in the U.S. Fair enough.

Couchsurfing

I don’t like this platform in the list, but “lets be honest” says it all. Couchsurfing is a source to find people for sex. I never used it actively for that purpose only, but mostly when I start to travel alone. My honest advice.... Don’t look for Sex, but a friend. Often you maybe end up having sex, because people from Couchsurfing are in general really open minded. In that time I traveled around for the first time 50% of my sexual encounters were from Couchsurfing. It does changed a lot in the last 5 years. Anyway... In maybe 150 people I meet with I slept with around 10. That maybe is not a lot, but again I would never force it.

Bars and Clubs

I admire people, who can go out in a club or bar and get a girl... I think in my entire life that worked out just two or three times. It is just not for me. As explained I am more the dance guy If I go out, which is not happening often. I also consider myself as a feminist and just don’t like to bother g...

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - Valuable Connections, How close you need to be?
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07/08/18 • 10 min

An interesting topic I got into after matching with a girl from Tinder, who lives in the US. But let me get there step be step. It starts with a normal match. I think it was Mexico, but at the end it doesn’t matter. She was not at the place anymore. I was writing her, that I don’t see a lot of sense in writing, because she lives far away, but she insists to write a bit and explained why distance doesn’t really matter for her.

What means being close to someone?

In my opinion we need to separate here two things. Being close in the sense of distance and being close emotionally. The rest is kind of self explaining. You can be far away from someone but still close emotionally. A good example for that is a long term relationship (LTR). That is a concept, which works for some people. Often you are close to people, you are close (distance) with. I would say family, neighbors, school/college/university friends and work colleges. As more time you spend someone or seeing someone regular as closer you may get?!

Why we got used to be close to people we see often?

Well, I am not a psychologist, but people are lazy. We are also social beings. If you put two people on a lonely island, they probably end up working together. But my point is somewhere else. For a strong bond you need to spend time with another person. Talking reveals how the person thinks. We decide for our own if we can relate to that or not. Of course we don’t need to agree everything. Getting to the point. It is much easier to build up a emotional connection with someone if we see that person more often.

If you think about it, it makes sense... You are very close to your family with whom you spend a significant amount of time. Same counts for school friends or college. Your best teenager friend, you meet up tons of time and experience the world. The first long relationships you could never erase from your head.

How to create a valuable connection?

Lets get back to my Tinder match I mentioned at the beginning. I do agree that you don’t need to life close by the person. There are 8 billion people out there. There are probably couple of soulmates out there and dozens of people you would connect with. The problem is how to find them and how to communicate. If you find a person, who resonates with you, why not building up this connections? If it comes to social relationships it is about quality and not quantity, right?

The only thing you need is to invest time and later on probably money. Genuine interest, communication and time. How much time do you have to connect to new people? Make new friends? I think a lot of people rather invest the time in friends they already have. For a good reason. This are the people who make us happy. But consciously investing time for new people... Well the question is up to you.

Why I struggle to make this valuable Connections

First of all I totally agree with the fact that you should spend time to connect to someone, who may not live around. It is about quality! And so often you have meaningless conversation with people you meet. Tinder or other Dating Sites are no different. So why not stick to people, who are on your page. The problem is the time you invest. Doesn’t matter how long it last nearly all of friends I made online and never meet are fading away after a while. I never meet a good friend online.

I meet my 2nd best friend on a online dating site. We spend a quality time together and after I left my country we still regular chat and check on each other. My point is that you need to ensure you will meet. Better sooner than later, because just in the real word you build up memories. Emotions for someone online are in my opinion fake. A trick of your brain, where you start to love what you imagine. This is not real. I would always prefer to meet someone in real life and keep contact with them online than the other way around. I do meet most of the people online first, but I try to meet as fast as possible to avoid wasting much time.

Why online matches often doesn’t work in real life?

I start to explain above. What we do, when we write with someone online is to create this person in our imagination. We through all information in and mix it with our own feelings and interpretation. So often it is different in the real world. Voice, body language, smell and much more play an important role if we meet new people. Also our own expectation. That maybe even more important, but also plays in that we create something in our head rather meet and see.

The post Valuable Connections, How close you need to be? appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - Tinder hookup is still a thing?

Tinder hookup is still a thing?

Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real

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05/20/18 • 10 min

Hookig up on Tinder

I use Tinder for quite a while, but hooking up with someone is rare. Even if I worked for a dating app in Germany I saw a lot of stuff. But just meeting someone for Sex doesn’t seem to be real. In Guatemala I matched with a girl, who just want to have sex. Well, that is not fully true. She just want to see more of me. I have half nude pictures on my Tinder profile and a lot of girls jump on the picture, where they see my blank ass. So she maybe just want to see the front. In the episode I talk about types of girl from Tinder, but also that Hookup is not a common thing for me. How often you hookup with girls or guys on Tinder?!

My Tinder Types

Most of the Tinder Matches are kind of Friends+ of girls. They just want to meet up and see how it goes. A lot of girls do have sexual background thoughts, but don’t want to go straight for Sex. Which is totally understandable. I think I tick similar. A bit information would be nice. What you do, what you like, what you want... Even a lot of girls have sexual intentions they don’t underline that as much as man do. Correct me if I am wrong, but man often do cross the line quickly about jumping into bed. Girls need a bit more than just the idea of sex. They want to connect, they want a real match or at least feeling save and good.

The second kind of type is the dating girl. Going for everything “serious” after the first date. At least something with potential. Often I go out just once with them and they realize they don’t get it or it is maybe not a match. Partly type one (Friend+) is also coming it if there is no chemistry. You think you click. Maybe the girl doesn’t think so. Maybe it is you. However, there is is a third type...

The 3rd type of girls on Tinder. Anything what makes sense and is not serious! I am totally into this group. The only thing they don’t want is something serious. They really see how things work out. Maybe just a date, maybe a “friend”, friend+ or short term dating with a spark of emotion. Lets call it fling or romance. If that match works out they enjoy the time. The risk is always there that it doesn’t work out or one of of them feels a bit more, but the focus intentially is to enjoy the time together, right?!

Who likes Hookups?

I ask out there? Who like hookups and why? For me this experience felt weird. In all my years on Tinder or Online Dating I maybe had 2-3 hookups (just meeting up to have sex) without knowing a lot about the other person. For me ideally you have 3-4 time Sex. That my personally “high” of encounter someone sexually. Don’t get me wrong. I do have One Nights Stands... Sometimes they are very good and you crave for more and sometimes they didn’t work out and you have a reason why you just have sex once. Does hook up with someone implicit having sex with someone just for one time?

The post Tinder hookup is still a thing? appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - Guatemala Hookup – Interview before having Sex
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02/24/18 • 12 min

Iterview before having Sex in Guatemala

A very exciting Interview. It was the first of its kind. But let me explain first how it comes. I matched with a girl in Guatemala on Tinder. We chatted a bit couple of days and decided to meet up to have sex. She also agreed to be interviewed before and after having Sex with me. I was very suprised how open minded she was about this.

So the day came and she picked me up with her car driving to a car hotel (some people call it also love motels). I just visited this kind of places 2-3 times before in Central America. Anyway... I am a big fan. The Motels are clean, not too expensive and often have nice features like jacuzzi or mirrows on the roof.

Sexual Teasers before having Sex

It was an interesing interview. On one handside because we had a open conversation about sex. What she likes in bed and what she expects (P.S. I am sorry if there is some background noice, but I record with my smartphone audio only and don’t edit what I record. So you get it all – kind of live... Real and authentic)

On the other handside I was also suprised that it mad the situation a bit more relaxed... It was still exciting...

What comes next?

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode. In the next podcast episode you will hear about what we did, what she liked and much more. It was a great and fun day. I really enjoyed my time with her and I am very happy to share the interview with you guys. So stay tuned =)

The post Guatemala Hookup – Interview before having Sex appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real - My 2 Favourite Question

My 2 Favourite Question

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01/02/18 • 13 min

I wouldn’t call it spoiler if I tell you right away what this questions are. The first one is “What is the sense of life?” and the second is “What is Love?”. I ask this questions to nearly everyone I meet on my travels.

I also ask girls on Tinder and Co. Also started to make some Screenshots and will publish the sets soon. In this Episode I also tell you my answers, which are kind of short. Just love to keep it simple. But honestly also don’t want to fix myself to a specific answer so it leaves room for interpretation.

I am super curious what other think about it. It truely gives me a little inside of another person. We also will have couple of interviews coming for this.

The post My 2 Favourite Question appeared first on Spoiled Mind.

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FAQ

How many episodes does Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real have?

Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real currently has 17 episodes available.

What topics does Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real cover?

The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Podcasts, Philosophy and Sexuality.

What is the most popular episode on Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real?

The episode title 'My Sexual Background / History' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real?

The average episode length on Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real is 14 minutes.

How often are episodes of Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real released?

Episodes of Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real are typically released every 49 days, 2 hours.

When was the first episode of Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real?

The first episode of Spoiled Mind - Lets be Real was released on Jan 1, 2018.

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