SMM 059: How to Be the Expert + Advocate for Your Child || Cheryl Cardall
06/19/19 • 27 min
I first interviewed Cheryl Cardall in episode 23 about overcoming weakness and using humor in motherhood. Cheryl is back and we are diving in to talk about what Cheryl has learned in 20 years of motherhood. You’ll also hear why Cheryl believes you should be the expert and advocate for your child.
Cheryl talks about a recent moment when she realized she was doing better as a mom than she thought she was. She shares how motherhood refines us and makes us better. Cheryl believes you can do more than just survive in motherhood. You can thrive.
We also have a discussion about why a mother’s worth isn’t determined by what her kids do. Cheryl has learned to be good with herself no matter what her kids do. “Their behavior has no reflection on me.”
Cheryl also discusses her recent experiences learning how to be an expert and advocate for one of her children struggling with mental health issues.
Recently, both Cheryl and her husband were prompted to get a dog for their family. She talks about how they trusted this prompting and how having a dog has been a huge blessing for their whole family. Her story illustrates so well that God cares about everything in our lives and why you can trust and act on the promptings you get.
Cheryl has seen and felt God the most when she has felt she isn’t enough. She discusses how a common answer from God for her has been to “Love them through it.”
“Motherhood is the perfect way to learn about the atonement. We are not enough on our own but when we use God and our Savior as our partner, somehow we are.”
Show NotesHere is the quote Cheryl shared by Dr. Christina Hibbert: “The fruit of motherhood isn’t how your kids turn out. It’s how you turn out.”
See the Instagram post by @reflectionsofchrist about the parenting advice to repent fast and frequently I mentioned in the episode. (I think I said it was about forgiveness in the episode, but it’s about repentance.)
This is the quote Cheryl shared by Janet Lansbury: “It can be really tough to remember how emotionally immature children are because they can be so impressively intelligent, capable, and aware. When they seem deliberately bratty or downright mean, we’ll need to remind ourselves: These are tiny people with incredibly low impulse control who are very easily overwhelmed. In the moment, it may feel like our kids are out to get us, but it is actually that their impulses have gotten the better of them.”
Books Cheryl recommends: The Whole Brain Child by Dr. Dan Siegel The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances E. Jensen
Follow CherylInstagram: @supermamas4real
Follow Spiritually Minded MomBlog: spirituallymindedmom.com Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom Facebook: spirituallymindedmom Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes
I first interviewed Cheryl Cardall in episode 23 about overcoming weakness and using humor in motherhood. Cheryl is back and we are diving in to talk about what Cheryl has learned in 20 years of motherhood. You’ll also hear why Cheryl believes you should be the expert and advocate for your child.
Cheryl talks about a recent moment when she realized she was doing better as a mom than she thought she was. She shares how motherhood refines us and makes us better. Cheryl believes you can do more than just survive in motherhood. You can thrive.
We also have a discussion about why a mother’s worth isn’t determined by what her kids do. Cheryl has learned to be good with herself no matter what her kids do. “Their behavior has no reflection on me.”
Cheryl also discusses her recent experiences learning how to be an expert and advocate for one of her children struggling with mental health issues.
Recently, both Cheryl and her husband were prompted to get a dog for their family. She talks about how they trusted this prompting and how having a dog has been a huge blessing for their whole family. Her story illustrates so well that God cares about everything in our lives and why you can trust and act on the promptings you get.
Cheryl has seen and felt God the most when she has felt she isn’t enough. She discusses how a common answer from God for her has been to “Love them through it.”
“Motherhood is the perfect way to learn about the atonement. We are not enough on our own but when we use God and our Savior as our partner, somehow we are.”
Show NotesHere is the quote Cheryl shared by Dr. Christina Hibbert: “The fruit of motherhood isn’t how your kids turn out. It’s how you turn out.”
See the Instagram post by @reflectionsofchrist about the parenting advice to repent fast and frequently I mentioned in the episode. (I think I said it was about forgiveness in the episode, but it’s about repentance.)
This is the quote Cheryl shared by Janet Lansbury: “It can be really tough to remember how emotionally immature children are because they can be so impressively intelligent, capable, and aware. When they seem deliberately bratty or downright mean, we’ll need to remind ourselves: These are tiny people with incredibly low impulse control who are very easily overwhelmed. In the moment, it may feel like our kids are out to get us, but it is actually that their impulses have gotten the better of them.”
Books Cheryl recommends: The Whole Brain Child by Dr. Dan Siegel The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances E. Jensen
Follow CherylInstagram: @supermamas4real
Follow Spiritually Minded MomBlog: spirituallymindedmom.com Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom Facebook: spirituallymindedmom Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes
Previous Episode
SMM 058: Why Gratitude for Little Things Will Make Your Life Better || Heather Herbert
Heather Herbert is a wife and a mom to three children ages 19, 15 and 13. She has experienced the heartbreak of having a stillborn daughter. Heather has also had many other crises with her children. Through it all, Heather has learned life-changing lessons about how to get through difficult times.
Listen to hear how Heather learned that practicing gratitude for little things can completely change your life. She also shares how prayer has helped her in moments of crisis to know the needs of her children.
After using gratitude to help her heal from the loss of her daughter, Heather realized gratitude is a strategy that will work for anyone, no matter what loss, trial or struggle they are experiencing.
As a result of her experience, Heather started The Sweet Me Project, a workbook to record gratitude, celebrate life and see the beauty, even in hard times.
Heather and I also discuss the message I share over and over on this podcast. God can give us exactly what we need in the moment we need it. And He knows what our kids need too. He knows them better than we know them.
Heather has learned to show her kids she isn’t perfect. As a result, she knows that humility has also enabled her to learn things from her children.
Overall, Heather’s story offers hope that despite heartache, God is there. We can feel His promptings, peace and reassurance. We can have a beautiful partnership in motherhood with Him.
Show NotesListen to other episodes dealing with the loss of a child:
Episode 2: Navigating Loss, Special Needs and Fostering as a Young Mom with Alie Jones. Episode 5: Choosing Happiness in Motherhood Despite Grief and Tragedy with Maralyn Nava Episode 13: Overcoming Anger + Showing Faith When Your Motherhood Plan is Not God’s with Misty Trendler
Follow HeatherInstagram: @sweetmeproject Website: sweetmeproject.com
Follow Spiritually Minded MomBlog: spirituallymindedmom.com Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom Facebook: spirituallymindedmom Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes
Next Episode
SMM 060: Why You Can Have Joy in the Middle of Hard Things || Stephanie Piacitelli
Stephanie Piacitelli, my guest for episode 60, is someone who has learned to find joy in the middle of hard things.
In October 2014, Stephanie and her husband, Bryant, were living a normal life with their four children. But near the end of that month, everything changed in an instant. Bryant was on his way to work as a police officer when he was struck on his motorcycle by a driver who ran a red light. Bryant was killed and Stephanie was left a widow with four young children.
Losing Her HusbandIn the interview, Stephanie shares about her life before Bryant passed away and the details of the day he was killed. She talks about how she shared the heartbreaking news with her children that their father had been killed.
One of her first thoughts was forgiveness for the person who hit her husband. Her second thought was that she and her family were loved. She knew they had so many people around them who loved them.
Stephanie shares the tender mercies she received from God prior to her husband’s death that did not lessen the shock but did leave her with the knowledge she was loved. She didn’t know it at the time, but as she looks back, she can see how God was preparing her and giving her what she needed.
Submitting Her Will to GodDuring her grief, Stephanie had a pivotal moment when she was able to turn everything over to God. She said, “This was a test for me. Am I really willing to put my trust in my Heavenly Father, in an all-knowing, all-loving God? Am I able to do that?... These experiences that we go through, are for our own good. We may not see it in the moment, but if we will allow the refiner’s fire to allow Heavenly Father to mold us into the person that He needs us to become, we will be better off than what we may have thought.”
Stephanie used the word “liberating” when talking about surrendering her will to God. We discussed the miracle of giving your will to the One who matters most and how surrendering will change your life.
“God will not forsake me” was on repeat in Stephanie’s mind for months after her husband’s death and is how she ultimately got through the darkest days.
Knowing Her Children’s NeedsStephanie also shares how prayer and relying on the spirit have helped her know the individual needs of her four children who lost their dad. She also talks about how she uses these same skills to help the four step children she is mothering since remarrying.
Joy in the Middle of Hard ThingsOverall, Stephanie’s story illustrates well it is possible to have faith and trust, even during difficult challenges. Stephanie knows “Joy is possible, even in the midst of hard things.” God makes this possible.
Other Episodes Dealing with GriefEpisode 2: Navigating Loss, Special Needs and Fostering as a Young Mom with Alie Jones
Episode 5: Choosing Happiness in Motherhood Despite Grief and Tragedy with Maralyn Nava
Episode 7: Turning to God Through Infertility, Adoption and Miscarriage with Kay West
Episode 58: Why Gratitude for Little Things Will Make Your Life Better with Heather Herbert
Follow StephanieInstagram: @stephaniepiacitelli
Follow Spiritually Minded MomBlog: spirituallymindedmom.com Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom Facebook: spirituallymindedmom Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes
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