Why Muslim kids have doubts about Islam Part 2

In part 1, I explored the reasons why Muslim teenagers lose their connection to Islam due to their parents/grandparents emigrating from a Muslim country. The detrimental effects of ‘immigrant assimilation’ on our kids can easily go undetected; I only realised it when I began studying the topic. In this episode, I want to explore other factors that make our kids think and behave more liberally.

A Lack Of Muslim Friends Or Good Muslim Friends

Alhamdulilah, globally the Muslim population is enormous. According to a study in 2015, Islam has 1.9 billion adherents, making up about 24.8% of the world population. www.pewresearch.org. This data is four years old; as you know, we Muslims love having babies, so the figure is probably 2 billion now!

Although we are huge, in Europe and the US, we are a minority. If you don’t live near a masjid or have a Muslim community nearby, your kids can’t attend Quran classes/ Islamic studies classes where they can be friends with other Muslim teenagers. Whether you like it or not, your teenager’s friends influence them more than you do.

Hadith About Friends

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet (saw) said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”

Tirmidhī

Abu Musa reported: The Prophet (saw) said, “Verily, the parable of good company and a bad company is only that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes, or you will notice a bad smell.” Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhāri

As a high school teacher, I noticed the different cliques that formed in year groups. These friendship groups would have the same ‘look’, speak the same, attend parties, and listen to similar music. Basically, follow a set of unwritten rules; if you wanted to be part of the group, you would have to conform. But I think we all know this; we’ve watched the movies and once upon a time, we were teenagers.

So, if our kids don’t have good Muslim friends, they, unfortunately, end up mimicking (in varying degrees) their non-Muslim friends’ behaviour. i.e. gossiping, dating, swearing, disrespecting their parents and teachers, dressing immodestly, and experimenting with weed. Our kids are under a lot of pressure to behave like an average non-Muslim teenagers. Maybe you’re thinking, my child doesn’t do that, and inshallah, I hope you’re right, and I am wrong. However, again as a high school teacher, I witnessed the chameleonic behaviour of Muslim teenagers when they came to their parents' evening with their family. It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic...

If you have any questions or suggestions for future episodes, send me an email, I love getting feedback. Please email hello @farhatamin.com

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