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Sex Help for Smart People

Sex Help for Smart People

Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.

We all need help with intimacy. Join certified somatic intimacy coach, and former academic scientist, Dr. Laura Jurgens for this myth-busting, de-shaming, inclusive show. She helps you understand socialized shame and sexual repression, distills the latest research, and introduces play-based approaches to growing your capacity for intimacy. Every episode offers an experiential exercise to build skill and confidence. If you want to discover an effective, fun path to better sex and connection, this show is for you. No ads, no product placements. Just free help.
Disclosure: expect explicit content and some swearing!

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Top 10 Sex Help for Smart People Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Sex Help for Smart People episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Sex Help for Smart People for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Sex Help for Smart People episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

Sex Help for Smart People - How To Start Having G-Spot & Cervical Orgasms
play

10/21/24 • 20 min

Do you want to have G-spot or cervical orgasms, but don't know how to get there? This episode is for you!

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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This episode is for all of you that have a hard time talking about sex, even with your partner. I'll cover the 3 top reasons people struggle to have conversations about sexual desires, needs, and interests. I'll also give you a place to get started in solving these challenges for each one.

From the episode recommendations, here is a link to the blog post from Somatica Institute on my most highly recommended relationship repair process: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/blog/9-steps-to-successful-relationship-repair/

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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This episode covers when to see a therapist and when to seek out coaching, strengths and weaknesses of both (because all modalities have pros and cons), and what to watch out for. I'll also go over different types of therapy and different types of coaching, and which versions are good for what situations and challenges, in my perspective.
This is part of a series of sessions that aim to help you understand the various options for help available to you.

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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What is your relationship to physical pleasure? Today is all about investigating this question so you can experience more of it. We'll talk about how you can boost pleasure, dive in to how desire and arousal get confused with pleasure, and how to focus on what really brings deep satisfaction.

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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Sex Help for Smart People - Strap-Ons For Every Body

Strap-Ons For Every Body

Sex Help for Smart People

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11/25/24 • 28 min

Get started the fun way with strap-ons. Everyone can play with strap-ons and there are loads of reasons you may want to try it out. This episode will guide you through choices of equipment, accessories, positions. It will help you make the decisions that will bring you and your partner the most fun while avoiding painful bad experiences.

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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Sex Help for Smart People - Butt Fun: How to Start & How to Avoid Traumatic Mistakes
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11/04/24 • 40 min

Today we’re talking about butt stuff – all things anal pleasure. The rear end is the other half of your pelvis and has loads of nerve endings to enjoy, but it can also be a place of shame, pain and trauma when we aren't careful. I’m going to give you some perspectives on releasing shame and expectations. I'll also cover in detail the Cardinal Rules of Butt Fun so you can stay on the pleasure side of the equation rather than the pain and trauma side. As usual, I’m going to end on an invitation to explore on your own, and this exercise is really important for those of you starting out with butt play, or if you’ve had bad experiences in the past. We'll also cover good butt-safe toys, hygiene, communication, pacing, lube, and all the details to help you be successful – which means every one has fun and no one gets hurt.

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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Sex Help for Smart People - Getting Validation: How to Be a Star Not a Black Hole or Red Flag
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03/25/24 • 41 min

Today we're talking all about where we get our validation, and what happens when we only look for it externally without giving it to ourselves.
Ever get that feeling that you, or someone you're with, just can't really take in approval? Maybe compliments slide off uncomfortably, or they seem to do absolutely nothing for our self-image. Maybe we feel desperate for attention, affirmation, or we tend to wait for someone else to make decisions. Or maybe we feel the opposite -- like we are entitled to approval for every single thing and we have a hard time taking even gentle feedback.
These are all patterns that stem from withholding validation from ourselves. It not only feels awful from the inside, it's also really challenging for romantic partners. It can be a big red flag in relationships, especially if taken to extremes. The good news is that most people can learn how to decrease the intensity of these patterns by learning to give ourselves more approval -- and it feels amazing when we do.
Episode 9 breaks down validation-seeking behavior patterns. I'll cover what to look for in yourself or others, what's in your power to fix and what's not. I'll also show you how to start working with your own validation-seeking behaviors so you can better accept approval from yourself and others, and let it feel really good.
To get the vagus nerve exercises referenced in this episode (and other free resources), go to https://laurajurgens.com and get on the email newsletter. Opt-out anytime.
Here are the topics for today:
Defining Validation

The Spectrum of Validation-Seeking

Why You're Not Weird or Lame for Needing Approval
Socialized Patterns in Approval-Seeking by Gender

Approval-Seeking Gone Wild, Validation Black Holes and Red Flags

Impact on Relationships

The Way Out of Misery: Repairing the Relationship with Ourselves

A First Step Exercise

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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Sex Help for Smart People - Relationship Skills Part 1: Attune to Yourself First
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03/18/24 • 35 min

Episode 8 is the first in a series about Relationship Skills. We're starting with the fundamental skill of self-attunement. This is the simple practice of tuning into our emotional activation level to understand where we're at and what we're available for.
It's simple, and doesn't take long. It is also a game-changer for your relationships, whether with yourself or with everyone else in your life.
What is self-attunement?

Most of us struggle to maintain a deep connection during daily life and when we interact with others. Self-attunement is about being "home" to ourselves, staying connected to our needs and sensations rather than being solely outward-focused.

I'll walk you through a simple exercise to drop into your body, assess your emotional activation on a 0 to 10 scale, and be present to your own experience. This exercise can be done anytime, anywhere, and serves as a foundation for deeper self-awareness and authenticity.

Benefits of Self-Attunement:

  • Self-attunement enhances authenticity and empowers us to make decisions aligned with our true desires.
  • It improves our ability to connect with others by fostering genuine presence and understanding.
  • Self-attunement also aids in setting boundaries and navigating challenging conversations with clarity and composure.

Practical Applications:

  • Self-attune before engaging with others, especially in intimate or emotionally charged situations.
  • Use self-attunement to regulate your capacity for decision-making and avoid acting impulsively under emotional stress.
  • Employ self-attunement to empathize with others and defuse tense situations.
  • Share the practice of self-attunement with friends or partners to foster mutual understanding and support.

Conclusion:

  • Self-attunement is a powerful tool for cultivating self-awareness, authenticity, and meaningful connections in all aspects of life. It also helps us not be jerks to ourselves or other people.
  • By integrating this simple practice, you can boost your emotional intelligence, as well as the fulfillment you feel in your connections with yourself and others.

For more free resources, to get on my newsletter and to get access to upcoming webinars, join my list at https://laurajurgens.com/ (opt out anytime).

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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Sex Help for Smart People - Why don't they just know?

Why don't they just know?

Sex Help for Smart People

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09/09/24 • 22 min

What can you do when you really want your partner to know what you want and they just don’t. You keep waiting and they keep not knowing and not doing it. You are disappointed, frustrated, or heartbroken (or all three). This is a recipe for disaster if you stay on the disempowering side of this. Take a listen and learn how to get out of this stuck place and move forward.

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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Sex Help for Smart People - How to Be Sexual Without Accidentally Being Creepy
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11/11/24 • 20 min

If you can't figure out why women seem to get turned off by you even though you're a super nice guy -- this episode is for you! We cover how to know if you’re inadvertently creeping out women or turning them off no matter how great a guy you are (and 99% of the people with this issue are cis-gendered hetero men). We'll talk about why that can happen, why it's not your fault (but is something only you can fix), how to stop it, and what’s up if you’re on other end (meaning that you get creeped out or turned off even by wonderful, kind men).

Learn more about me, get a FREE GUIDE to FINDING YOUR DEEPEST TURN-ONS, inquire about coaching, and learn how to get help with relationships and intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com. Get a transcript of this episode by going to https://sexhelpforsmartpeople.buzzsprout.com/ Click on the episode, then choose the transcript tab.

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FAQ

How many episodes does Sex Help for Smart People have?

Sex Help for Smart People currently has 44 episodes available.

What topics does Sex Help for Smart People cover?

The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Podcasts and Sexuality.

What is the most popular episode on Sex Help for Smart People?

The episode title 'Relationship Skills Part 1: Attune to Yourself First' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on Sex Help for Smart People?

The average episode length on Sex Help for Smart People is 28 minutes.

How often are episodes of Sex Help for Smart People released?

Episodes of Sex Help for Smart People are typically released every 7 days.

When was the first episode of Sex Help for Smart People?

The first episode of Sex Help for Smart People was released on Jan 30, 2024.

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