Segment City

Hopefully this cereal doesn’t... taste like booty. Thanks everyone, I’ll be here all week. On a very much related note, what are booty crowns? It is a Marshmallow shape for Booty O’s and I have no idea what it is. It keeps me awake at night. Oh well. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about what amount of home constitutes not being homeless, answer the question of “Am I the A**hole?” for a post on r/ AmItheAsshole in which the poster created a website to make fun of his classmates and immediately got called out on it (kind of a cut and dry case tbh), the tale of Tarrare, the Hungriest man in history who was known for eating garbage, fighting with alley dogs over scraps, and for possible cannibalism and vampirism? Also this week, Theo goes over some Made for TV products to die for including one he made up himself (featuring the Uroclub, Saunapants, and the Itchy’s Blanket),and a new segment called “WHY?!: Cereal Edition” in which Will takes us through some of the wackiest cereals he could find including “Booty O’s”, “Cinnabon Cereal”, “Chicken and Waffle Honey Bunches and Oats Cereal”, and many more!

S’moritto. That name alone sparks interest. Is it a toasted burrito? Is it a tasty desert wrapped in a tortilla? Wrong. It is filled to the brim with confusion and hatred. Chocolate, marshmallow, peanut butter and jelly, and BACON! All wrapped in a tortilla!? That is so many flavors, textures, and smells wrapped into one. I feel the diabetes coursing through my veins just writing that. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about the rules of good storytelling, some wacky s’mores alternatives including wrapping it in a biscuit, adding brie and peach to it, dipping it in baileys, and making a “S’morito” aka a bacon, pb&j, marshmallow wrapped in a tortilla. Will then quizzes Theo by reading review from Rotten Tomatoes and seeing if he can guess the movie in “The Most Rotten Tomato!”, Theo asks Will what product is the made up in “As Seen on TV!” featuring the Cozy Bib, Easy Feet, and Alien Tape, and Will tells some of the wackiest plots in the CIA tried in their over 600 assination attempts on Fidel Castro including poison cigars, ice cream and diving suits, exploding seashells, and more...

“This town ain’t big enough for two people with a body pillow collection! Where are we even gonna keep all of ‘em? They are full sized body prints.” “That is one of the few things we agree about pardner... That and the fact that One Piece is the best anime to exist.” “Draw!... Your waifu.” This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about alcoholic freeze pops, words that have lost their individual parts such as high school and breakfast, a Florida cop that misused his power to jail his own mistress, Will does an impression of every Boston Fire Chief press conference, the boys discuss Mario’s 35th Anniversary and all the video game announcements that came with it including a Tetris 99 clone and some old Mario games including a new 3D All Stars collection, Will ruins an edition of “Is this ‘The Onion’?” by knowing the story about a man making an impassioned speech to his local city council to ban the term “Boneless Buffalo Wing”, and Will does a piece about the longest fanfiction (and longest work of fiction ever) “Subspace Emissary’s World’s Conquest”!

“Capri Sun is proud to announce some new products! We have some new flavors including watermelon, mango, and... Human blood? Is this right? It’s flavored like human blood? It IS human blood? I have no idea how we are going to sell this to middle America. Undead America is going to love it though.” This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about how Covid is affecting the porn industry (and other major industries), if we would have our hands and feet switch one day a week for a million dollars, a new Tik Tok trend(?) in which teens pretend to be Holocaust victims going to heaven, the story of Gustaf Hakansson the “Steel Grandpa” and his unofficial victory in a cross country bike race across Sweden, and Will and Theo do a dramatic reading of chapters 3-5 of the most infamous fanfiction ever created: “My Immortal”! Ebony and Draco go to a Good Charlotte concert, put things in things, and get swore at by Dumbledore.

What is True Nudity? I’m glad you asked. True nudity is being completely nude, with not even a scrap of clothing on you. This is in contrast to Actual Nudity which is basically the most amount of clothes you can have on while basically being nude. There are also Lawful Good Nudity, Chaotic Neutral Nudity, etc etc. This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about what constitutes nudity, listing some gross Amazon sodas in flavors such as sweet corn, bacon, buffalo wing, ranch dressing, PB & J pumpkin pie, pickle, mustard, coffee, and cucumber. The boys also play some Dungeons and Dragons in “D&D For 2!” in which Bruno Wizardson returns home from a successful(?) ogre hunt to his worried band of thieves and concocts a hairbrain scheme to rob the wizard’s tower. They also listen to the ramblings of Randyll Randyllson and get into a fight with some desert pirates.Lastly, Theo informs Will about his “brilliant invention” of “Tubeworld!” In which everything is transported via tubes born from a reddit post about a boyfriend annoying his girlfriend with his “Souptube” idea.