Richard and Steve's Podcast

I am God. Not the god of love, but God Almighty. I massacred the Amalekites and the Seven Nations of Canaan. I hacked Agag to pieces and blasted the barren fig tree, for the day of vengeance is in my heart. You lunar jackass, she betrayed you... guilty, guilty, guilty. The punishment is death. I've finally been processed. They made me adjust... to modern times. This is 1888, isn't it? I'm Jack. Cunning Jack. Quiet Jack. Jack whose sword never sleeps. Hats off, I'm Jack. Not the good shepherd. Not the prince of peace. I'm red Jack, spring-heeled Jack. Jack from hell. Trade name: Jack the Ripper.

IRON MAN 2 SPECIAL Oh yes, that's right, we've teamed up with the bloody boffins at Universal Pictures to offer our loyal listenership an insane Iron Man 2 giveaway. Just stay tuned to the end of the podcast for a free sample from the soundtrack to this Summer's biggest superhero movie. In other news, there are tips of the hat and wags of the fingers abound from Prof. Richard Sheppard and Stephen Leslie Parkes (a.k.a. The Nimmo Twins of comedy) in the latest edition of the Richard and Steve Show. Yes, we had a coalition government of a sinister, shifty, posh fop and a grinning, gurning homosexual chancer long before the Clegg and the Cameron set up a bunkbed together.

A few light taps upon the pane made Richard Sheppard turn to the window. It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward to Podcast Towers. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over East Anglia. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Fens and the Broads and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Christchurch Park. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Marley lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the Lebanese Restaurant, on the barren thorns, on USA Fried Chicken, on Norfolk County Council, on the Richard and Steve Christmas Special, on Cathedral Close, on Stephen Fry and Mikey Carroll. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

Bored with the Beguine? Weary of the Waltz? Take the hand of professional tango instructor Richard Sheppard and cross the dancefloor of human experience. There you will meet Stephen Lesley Parkes, famous meta-film-critic Marley and hear all about the dreadful effects of the lethal street drug, 'Meow Meow'. It's all packed in thirty minutes like meat packed into a tube, and it want's to crawl into your ears and die there. Let us in.

A short, sharp, sweet, sour shot across the bows of reality from Prof. Richard Sheppard and Stephen L. Parkes. The former is losing his voice, giving the latter free rein to quote from the bible, talk about testicles and generally talk trash and steal cash. More to come soon, keep them peeled.