Regular Features

This week's episode of Regular Features is presented, as always, in high-quality .wav format. You make a .wav by walking up the holy mountain and holding your Zune to the sky. A single raindrop will fall into the 3.5mm headphone jack, and a .wav will be shat out. It's beautiful. This week's .wav is filled with a spicy, sexy episode of Star Trek, a look into the newest FIFA game on PS2, and a discussion of why you'd ever want to be in a bath full of Beelzebub's juice - wine.

Imagine YOU were the Hotstepper. How would YOU like it if you heard everyone saying "Here come the Hotstepper" every single time they saw you? "Look busy," whispers Daniel in Accounts Payable, shuffling urgently past HR with a folder clutched to his chest. "I just saw the Hotstepper getting out of the lift." You might be London's fanciest Hotstepper by night, but by day you're Martin Pickering, area manager for Bridlington Diagnostics. And you just want to DO YOUR JOB In this TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY PLAGUED EPISODE, Gav gets his likeness used and abused and it lands a little too close to home for comfort, and Log has news for you about Castles, Wasps, and Printers. With thanks to absolute unit MIke Orvis for The Bee-Witcher Jingle

What's that thing where people go on stage and read out bits from their old diaries and cry while getting laughed at? This is like that but more pathetic.

Come, come inside my fortune telling tent young man, or is it young woman? My wizened old crone eyes can't see too well these days. What... "crone"? No, no it's fine, I can say it because I am one, it's our word. No, yeah I know it's rooted in misogyny. We're reclaiming it, sort of like "queer". Oh god sorry I didn't realise you were queer. Oh god I've said it again. Right, turn over your cards. There. You'll meet a tall handsome stranger on a blimp, now get out of my tent. In this two-boy fiasco of an episode, Steve gets into an argument with his neighbours about dog wets. Joe takes Red Dead Redemption 2 to the westest end there is: West End. Welcome to Your Westworld (ID 1334) -Remastered by Lobo Loco is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

This week's episode comes directly from Joe's Stag Do. A stag do is where boys go to do podcasts, and we highly recommend it, especially to you, MISSUS. Gav quizzes Joe on the likes, dislikes, and historic whereabouts of his fiancée. Steve writes a poem to rival that one about your parents being bad for your bonce. Log commits horrors with language alone.