Reckonings

'I realized that my excuses for justifying war had nothing to do with what we were trying to achieve. I justified war because I wanted to believe that the things I’d done were right, and that my fellow soldiers hadn't died in vain.' Those are the sobering words of Afghanistan war veteran and conscientious objector, Brock McIntosh. Through his experiences in Afghanistan, he lost faith in the Afghanistan war, and then in war altogether. Growing up, McIntosh had taken his ideological cues from the institutions in his life — military, church, and family — and in the process of applying for conscientious objector status, he found himself wrestling with his inherited beliefs and renegotiating his relationships with these institutions. His process of becoming a conscientious objector became a portal through which to challenge and reconstitute his most fundamental beliefs. The overarching shift: from fearful rigidity to brave open-mindedness. Today, McIntosh is a peace activist pursuing his Master's of Public Policy at NYU.

"I called myself a Karma King, because I was distributing the shit that had been given to me." The finale of Season 1 features Daniel Gallant, a former violent extremist turned anti-violence activist, counselor, and scholar. Violence is what he experienced growing up, what he became a perpetrator of, and what it has been a phenomenal feat for him to overcome.

Today, Daniel is the founder of anti-violence organization Exit Canada, and a J.D. candidate at Thompson Rivers University. May we take this story — albeit difficult — as an opportunity to understand what motivates extremist violence, and draw hope from one person's ability to transcend it.

'I don't know if I can convey how comforting it is to believe that you possess the secret to how everything in the universe works. And as a consequence, we had this amazing bonus: we were going to heaven and everyone else was going to hell.' That's how Chris Ladd describes his upbringing in a fundamentalist Christian home in East Texas. But that sense that he possessed the secret to how everything in the universe worked? Well, it eventually cracked, shifting his views on women's rights, homosexuality, race, and everything else in the delicate mobile we call a "worldview." The cost of ideological transformation has been painfully high, but Chris concedes, it's been worth it.

'My mantra back then was I hate my life...My mantra now is I love my life.' Paige Sargent is a singer and song-writer, who once struggled with alcohol and cocaine addiction. The destruction of her addiction was vast and damaged every part of her life — especially her relationships, and in particular, her relationship with her mom. It is then, perhaps, little surprise that her recovery process has both been inspired by and yielded deeper, more loving relationships. Hear Sargent speak, pray, and sing her healing story, from addiction through recovery and beyond.

'When I'm angry and I don't know how to get it out, I take it out on other people. I call people names, I say they're ugly, I talk about the way they dress. And when I get into fighting mode, I just start swinging.’ When she was in high school, Halley built a reputation for herself as a bully. So did Chris, who even bullied his teachers, going so far as to break one teacher's jaw. Why do we bully? And what moves us to stop?