Raising 'Rents (as in paRents) a show about caring for an aging parent or adult

Host Zack Demopoulos recently attended a ComForCare national conference and had the opportunity to speak with quite a few owners and operators of ComForCare home care agencies from all over this continent. He shares some great tips from these passionate providers that come from their experience of hiring many caregivers in these series.

In this episode he interviews Renee Henriques, owner and operator of ComForCare in Toronto Canada.

This show is sponsored by ComForCare, a national home care provider that will help you live your best life possible.

In previous Episode 26 and Episode 27 Zack discussed hiring home care to help you care for a family loved one so that they can continue to live at home independently and safely. Home Care is Day 17 of the 30 Day Preparation Plan to care for an aging adult.

Renee shares personal experience with caring for her father.

Zack: That’s Renee Henriques. She owns and operates a ComForCare home care agency in Toronto. We are going to hear more from Renee in this final episode, episdoe 33, of the series Hiring a caregiver to help you care for your family loved one.

Zack: I asked Renee how did she know she was cut out for homecare?

Renee: I have nursing background and have been through the home care experience twice. There was no private home at the time and she could’ve used it and someone to have coached her along.

Zack: Let’s go back to the story about Renee’s father. I asked her what did she learn from that experience.

Renee: Shares the story about how she handled her father who was confused wandering outside knocking on the doors of his neighbors. She had to tell him that he had to move and that it was temporary. She did it out of desperation.

Zack: He was happier in the last five years of his life than he ever was. That is a powerful story and brave of Renee to have made that decision and be honest enough to share that with us. But you ask...what does that have to do with home care? Who runs a home care agency is just as important as hiring that right caregiver. With Renee at the helm of her home care operation and with all that personal raw experience, you will get genuine and appropriate guidance that will steer you in the right direction of your caregiving journey.

Renee: When I meet a family in the beginning of their caregiving journey, they usually do not know where to go and do not understand the system and since I have worked in the healthcare system for a long time I can add that value. I know the person to sign up for assessment for Canada’s offering of free home care. Alzheimer Society has great resources.

Zack: What makes Renee unique is that she offers resources I do not usually hear from others or may not be top of mind, resources that are very valuable for you the caregiver.

Renee: I offer various caregiver support chat rooms that anyone can access regardless of where you are from.

Zack asks her why is this so important?

Renee: This can help calm a caregiver down. Better decision making. It helps in situations where some people may not want care and there are ways to work through that.

Zack: You see, hiring a caregiver is more than just placing someone in your home. A good agency should be able to help you, like Renee is suggesting here, with things like dealing with mom or dad who may be very resistant to having a stranger in their house. Speaking of a caregiver coming to your house, I asked Renee what should a family expect from an agency as far as what they should be providing in way of a qualified and skilled caregiver?

Renee: Caregivers should be bonded, insured. Agency should be credible in terms of required documentation. Ongoing education for caregivers. Ways for the family to get what they need like a schedule and is someone on call 24 hours a day.

Zack: Renee is obviously very experienced. I wanted to take advantage of that and asked her to share with us some unique tips that caregivers should consider when caring a family loved one who may be confused or has dementia.

Renee: One tip is when having a conversation with someone who is confused and they may not want to do what you want them to do is to buy some time. Help them make that decision by making that time short for them. Another tip is to avoid phrases such as “remember when”. Third tip is be aware that they can read your moods. If you are frustrated they will get frustrated.

This was Episode 33 and our final episode in the 5 part series of talking about hiring a care...

Host Zack Demopoulos launches his 30 day preparation plan to care for an aging adult. In Day 7, Zack talks about how many doctors an aging adult may have and what are the best ways to help your parent manage them and benefit most from them.

Host Zack Demopoulos launches his 30 day preparation plan to care for an aging adult. In Day 13, Zack talks about being a long distance adult kid caring and worrying about your aging parent and some things you can do about it.

• Host Zack Demopoulos invites Barbara Davey as a guest to discuss what is a CCRC, IL, AL, SNU, SA and MC--all long term care options that one day an aging parent or adult may need. Barbara is a Community Relations Director for a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC).

Host Zack Demopoulos prepares to kick off Season 2 of Raising ‘Rents but before he does he shares a bonus episode on the transition of care for a family loved one who has been hospitalized and is being discharged. This one is a personal story about Zack’s Mom. It is the first time he is sharing on a personal note and plans to do more in the future.

Show Notes:

Sibling dynamics--Zack has to work with his brother to care for their mother who has been hospitalized with a contagious virus that has weakened her and heart problem called supraventriculartachycardia. His brother lives in North Carolina near their mother and along with his wife is the primary caregiver. Zack lives in New Jersey and is a long distance caregiver.

Cost of caring, especially as a long distance caregiver-- Zack walks through what it takes to leave New Jersey on short notice to help his brother care for their mother.

Challenges of your mother telling you she wants to go home from the hospital and there is no clear plan yet.

Hospital case manager--very important you meet with them early and have them help you start planning for your family member’s hospital discharge.

Doctor says his mother can go home but with a plan that includes 24/7 care which Zack knew would not fly with his mom.

Zack reviews options with his mother which include going home with 24/7 care which she did not want nor can a family member help her with or go to a subacute rehab facility which she immediately rejects because she considered that to be a nursing home.

He convinces her to agree to go to a subacute rehab facility. Case manager gives Zack a list of recommended facilities. He is not familiar with any of them being from out of town. He reaches out to his home care provider peer and friend in Charlotte ComForCare Charlotte NC and received recommendations, two of them being on the list. Zack also asked the doctor who replied that she did not know anything about them but if it was her mother, she would go to each facility in person and check them out and make a decision from there.

Zack’s brother wants their mother to go to a rehab facility by his work so if need be he can run over briefly and see her. It was mostly about location than anything else. Zack instead tries to use factors such as how good the Physical Therapy is, is subacute separated from long term care (nursing home), how many aides are there per number of patients, and if a private room is available that is paid for by Medicare. Sibling dynamics once again come into play here.

After selecting a subacute facility, Zack is ready to take his mom there. Very important that you get the discharge plan documents from the Director of Nursing or Case Manager so that you can share it with the facility. Discharge plan has special instructions and lists medications, some of them could be new since her hospital admission.

Thank you for listening to the Raising ‘Rents podcast. This was Episode 25. If you have any questions or feedback, please go to our website www.raisingrents.com and click on the “Contact” tab. You can also find the show notes and references to anything we talked about. Until we talk again, remember that our parents raised us, the least we can do is help raise them. Talk to you later.

Sources used in this series:

• Intro/outro music: Arthaiz
• Other music used on this episode: Bensound: “ Better Days”
• Daughter Anastasia Demopoulos does the opening voice over
• Website created and managed by Philip Golden
• Sponsor: ComForCare Fairfield NJ https://comforcare.com/new-jersey/fairfield