Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
Kira Dorrian and Deana Thayer
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If your parenting ever feels like a game of whack-a-mole, we’ve got you. If you are a Type-A planner who wants to parent proactively, we’re here for you. If you find yourself somewhere in between....that parent who longs to parent with intention, but often ends up reacting to situations as they arise, you are our people! Our distinct philosophy - Future Focused Parenting – takes center stage on the podcast. We open every episode with our own personal “why” to demonstrate bringing intention to specific parenting issues. Then we dive into the “what” and “how” of each topic, moving quickly into actionable tools and strategies our listeners can start using right away. As your co-hosts, we bring our professional experience to bear, but never fail to share our own struggles as parents. In addition, we have some unique differences in our personalities and beliefs. This dynamic creates a distinct feel, allowing our listeners to explore varying ways to approach parenting topics and ultimately decide what works for their family. We invite you to listen to the groundbreaking parenting podcast that starts with the end in mind. Stop raising kids; start Raising Adults!
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Future Focused Foster/Adoptive Parenting with Amy Carney of Parent on Purpose
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
05/24/21 • 27 min
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In today’s episode, Deana and Kira have the opportunity to chat with Amy Carney about Future Focused foster/adoptive parenting. She is the author of Parent on Purpose-A Courageous Approach to Raising Children in a Complicated World and 100 Questions for Mom- a Journal for Reflection and Connection. She is a public speaker, content creator, and product maker helping parents raise their children with more joy and purpose. She lives with her husband and five children in Arizona. They are currently fostering their 6th to adopt him this summer.
"It's not just our home. It's a community of people pouring into our children and teaching them." - Amy Carney.
Amy Shares:
- Her why in this area of her parenting (4:10)
- Her parenting philosophy before fostering to adopt (7:47)
- Finding balance from a mental health perspective and how to help biological kids understand (13:19)
- Responsibilities of a foster parent from a mental health perspective. How to care for a person who's been through trauma and helping the kids already in the home (17:14)
- How to access resources in the community as an essential piece of the foster/adoptive process (19:35)
- Approaching biological kids in a way that doesn't cause resentment towards foster children (21:24)
- An important takeaway for anyone considering fostering or adopting (23:25)
- All about the experience that inspired Amy's book: Parent on Purpose (25:30)
Connect with Amy
Thanks for tuning in!
Thanks for joining us on today's episode of the Raising Adults! If you enjoyed today's episode, please head over to iTunes and leave us a rate and review to help us reach even more Future Focused Parents. Don't forget to check out our website, visit us on Facebook, or hang out with us on Instagram to stay up-to-date on what's in store for you.
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Things We Wish We'd Said
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
12/06/21 • 28 min
Sometimes after a recording has finished or an episode has aired, Kira and Deana realize that they have something they wish they had said. In today’s episode, they share those tidbits including a few extra ideas for talking about sex with kids, extra thoughts on peer pressure and more. Today's discussion includes:
- A few extra birds and the bees guidelines (3:12)
- The power of voting with your dollar and the power of boycotting (8:06)
- An extra tool for combating peer pressure (9:59)
- The story behind Kira's tattoo (13:25)
- Imposter syndrome with parenting (16:04)
- Favorite foods (22:03)
- If Deana hears this noise, she'll run for the hills (26:36)
- Kira can eat what in a soup bowl? (27:31)
When One Partner Isn't Future Focused
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
11/01/21 • 24 min
In today's episode of Raising Adults, Deana and Kira tackle a listener question: What do you do if you are in a parenting team and your partner isn't future focused or doesn't want to be? "It is important that everybody feels seen and heard, but that also that we feel satisfied with the job that we're doing as parents." - Kira Dorrian. "It's not saying that the way the other parent is doing it is wrong. It's just saying , 'Hey, this happens to be important to me, so I'll put those systems in place and help make sure they happen.'" - Deana Thayer Today's discussion includes:
- The need for foundational tools (5:54)
- You can parent together even if you don't agree (8:21)
- Deciding that you both want to parent well (11:59)
- Making sure we are not undermining our partner or other households (17:15)
- A practical example of how this might look (18:14)
- The flip side of that example (19:13)
- Takeaways from today's episode (20:13)
Cutting Through the Overwhelm with Heather Chauvin
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
11/22/21 • 34 min
In today's episode of Raising Adults, Deana and Kira have the pleasure of chatting with Heather Chauvin, a leadership coach who helps overwhelmed, ambitious women become leaders at work and home while conquering their fears. She's also the host of the Mom Is In Control Podcast, where she reveals her most vulnerable truths about womanhood, marriage, parenting, living through stage four cancer, and running a successful business without burning out. "Women walk around this earth pretending that they are robots, pretending that they don't matter. When you think about it, we probably take better care of our house plants than we do our bodies . W e water the plants and we can't remember the last time we drank water." - Heather Chauvin Today's discussion includes:
- Why Heather does this work (2:37)
- How Heather had to recalibrate after her diagnosis (8:02)
- When our behavior is really about feeling in control (15:12)
- Noticing our resistance, fear and guilt (21:10)
- The importance of remembering that we are our child’s teacher (27:59)
Honoring Where Our Kids Are Different From Us
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
11/15/21 • 30 min
In today's episode of Raising Adults, Deana and Kira dive into how we as parents handle and cope with our kids being different from us. "We don't need a melting pot in this country, folks. We need a salad bowl. In a salad bowl, you put in the different things. You want the vegetables, the lettuce, the cucumbers, the onions, the green peppers to maintain their identity. You appreciate differences." - Jane Elliot Today's discussion includes:
- Why we're talking about this (5:35)
- What this looks like in Deana's home (7:17)
- Coping with differences in Kira's home (11:35)
- Something not being handled well vs. a different way of doing something (14:00)
- Leaning into the differences (16:45)
- Unpacking where the issue is actually our own (19:06)
- What are we modeling for our kids (25:19)
Teaching Kids About Social Justice
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
11/08/21 • 32 min
In today's episode of Raising Adults, Deana and Kira are back with an important topic: teaching kids about social justice. Because she is not a DEI educator, Kira shares who she is learning from and what the application looks like in her home. "We cannot help the next generation to dismantle racism, challenge racial inequality, and imagine an America of inclusion, if we, as white parents, do not openly discuss the oppression and injustices that are inherent in the very design of our country, which was established by white men who believed that they were the superior race." - Eli s abeth Le p ine Today's discussion includes:
- Appropriate vs. inappropriate resources (6:22)
- Apron Education and Read Like a Rock Star Teaching (7:46)
- The Conscious Kid, Little Justice Leaders and Brownicity (10:01)
- The framework Kira uses in her house (11:56)
- Modeling action and helping kids learn to take action (19:34)
- How to talk about the complexities and when we get it wrong (23:11)
- Accept the discomfort - if we're not educating ourselves, we're not doing the work (25:36)
- Gracefully receiving feedback so we can do better (29:09)
The Three Types of Consequences
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
11/29/21 • 32 min
In today's episode of Raising Adults, Deana and Kira break down the three types of consequences, how to use them, and when to use them. If you find yourself asking what's an appropriate consequence, this episode is for you. " The d esign isn't to be punitive. The design is to help the world make sense because we are our children's teachers for how to navigate the world later on." - Deana Thayer Today's discussion includes:
- The importance of follow-through and meaning what you say (6:36)
- Empty threats lose power over time (7:36)
- First type: A Natural Consequence (9:52)
- Second type: A Logical Consequence (14:38)
- Third type: A Currency Consequence (19:24)
- Why experiencing these consequences in childhood help prepare kids for adulthood (26:04)
The Three Pillars of the Future Focused Parenting Philosophy
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
10/25/21 • 31 min
In today's episode of Raising Adults, Deana and Kira dive into the three pillars of the Future Focused Parenting Philosophy and how it can be applied to all of your parenting journey. "Be proactive wherever you can be because we want those curveballs to be the exception and not the rule ." - Kira Dorrian. "If you have a strong enough why, you can tolerate almost any how." - Jillian Michaels Today's discussion includes:
- Pillar 1: Figure Out Your Why (5:44)
- Pillar 2: Uphold Your Family Values (10:23)
- Should children be involved in the conversation about family values? (13:51)
- Pillar 3: Take a Proactive Approach (16:56)
- How to be proactive (19:23)
- Proactive discussions on discipline (26:13)
The Changing Face of Education with Victoria Ransom of Prisma
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
10/18/21 • 35 min
In today's episode of Raising Adults, Deana and Kira discuss the changing face of education with guest Victoria Ransom from Prisma. We dive into what options exist outside of the conventional model, why the conventional model is failing some of our kids and how to find the right fit for your children. Victoria, an entrepreneur since her early twenties, has developed four companies, including Wildfire, which Google acquired in 2012 for $450M. She has an MBA from Harvard Business School and a bachelor of arts degree from Macalester College. In her spare time, she is an avid snowboarder, surfer, and passionate adventure traveler. "For so many kids, part of the problem with school is they're sitting there thinking, when will I ever use this in my life? Why do I need this? And I think applying learning to what you see in your community is one way to make it feel relevant." - Victoria Ransom. Today's discussion includes:
- Where Victoria's interest in education began (8:02)
- Can traditional education's primary features be problematic? (12:04)
- What options exist outside the conventional model? (17:36)
- Finding the right model to fit your kids' learning styles (24:11)
- How Prisma brings learning alive for kids (29:00)
Bonus Episode - A Hearfelt Farewell
Raising Adults: Future Focused Parenting
12/09/21 • 5 min
Kira and Deana share their decision to close Raising Adults Podcast and Future Focused Parenting. The final episode will air on Monday, December 13th. They also share details for the Future Focused Patrons and how to reach out for parent coaching in the future.
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