Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen and Audacy
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Top 10 Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
What Makes Love Last (John & Julie Gottman, PhDs)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
09/29/22 • 60 min
“I’ve never really figured out how come we stop asking each other questions. You know, we always do that in the beginning of a relationship just to get to know somebody, but then once we get committed, once we get busy, we're busy, busy, then we think, okay, everything is cool over here. I don't need to put energy into it. I'll go to work. And our partners, meanwhile, and we are changing over time. We are changing with history, with politics. We are changing with our whole world as our kids get older. If we have kids as our career changes and we stop asking each other questions, you know, our days become this endless to-do list period. And the only question we ask is, did you call the plumber? Well, yes. Anything else you wanna know?,” says Dr. Julie Gottman. Julie and her husband, John, have dedicated over four decades to the research and practice of fostering healthy and long lasting relationships. The Gottmans are the world’s leading relationship scientists, having gathered data on over three thousands couples to identify the building blocks of love and employing those findings through the training of clinicians and creation of principles and products for couples around the world.
Their latest book,The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy, distills their findings to the simple question, what makes love last? Providing readers with a simple, seven-day action plan, the book makes the Gottman’s work accessible to every relationship - no grand gestures, difficult conversations, or multi-day seminars required.
I am delighted to be joined by the couple today as we discuss how to build a fruitful dialogue around the perpetual problems that crop up in relationships; filling your relationship piggy bank with small, but daily, positive actions; and committing to an ongoing curiosity about your partner as they grow and evolve. If both people want to do the work, they tell us, many more relationships can be saved than we may think. Lasting love requires good partnership hygiene, tiny interventions over the course of a lifetime, in order to establish a culture of respect, awareness, and rediscovery that keeps things on the rails.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
- Accepting perpetual problems...
- Cultivating curiosity...
- Dawning of awareness...
- Respecting anger...
MORE FROM JOHN & JULIE GOTTMAN:
The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy
The Gottman Institute - A Research-Based Approach to Relationships
Gottman Relationship Quiz - How Well Do You Know Your Partner?
Find a Gottman Trained Therapist
Follow the Gottman Institute on Twitter and Instagram
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7 Listeners
What Our Anxiety Tells Us (Ellen Vora, M.D.)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
03/10/22 • 53 min
“I think we're due for a cultural rebranding around crying. I think that crying, you know, if we start to cry, we inevitably apologize or invariably apologize. We sort of suck it back in and make it as small as it can be. Like the way someone would pinch back a sneeze, we’re like holding the tears back, making it smaller, collecting ourselves. And you know, if you know, somebody who's crying frequently or you're like, they're in a bad place. And I think that we really need to see crying as this deep wisdom from our body saying, you need a release right now, let's have of one. And when you get an opportunity to cry, dive into it and let it be big, let it be complete rather than smaller. Like let it be bigger.” So says Dr. Ellen Vora, a Columbia University-trained psychiatrist who takes a functional and holistic approach to mental health—namely, she treats the whole system, looking for where states like anxiety and depression might be rooted in the body, whether it’s less-than-ideal nutrition and an out-of-whack gut, or poor sleep and breathing.
In her just-launched book—THE ANATOMY OF ANXIETY—she tackles this state that is ever-present for many of us. In fact, it’s easy to argue that if you aren’t feeling anxious, you aren’t really alive in this complex, difficult rollercoaster of time. But in Ellen’s model, she differentiates between true and false anxiety—both are very real and valid concerns. For false anxiety, typically there’s an imminently treatable physical root that can be addressed until the body comes back into balance and the mind calms. True anxiety, on the other hand, is an alarm clock that something is not right—that you’re out of alignment, or integrity, in some way. In today’s episode we talk about both, including the overwhelming load that we’re all carrying and how important it is to cry. We also explore psychedelics and what it means to really heal. OK, let’s get to our conversation.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
- It’s not ‘all in your head’, it’s in your body...
- Building your sleep toolkit...
- Honoring real food cravings...
- The importance of finding release...
MORE FROM ELLEN VORA:
The Anatomy Of Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming the Body's Fear Response
Follow Ellen on Instagram and check out her videos on YouTube and TikTok
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6 Listeners
The Boundaries We Need (Melissa Urban)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
11/23/22 • 65 min
“Boundaries don't tell other people what to do. They tell other people what you are willing to do to take responsibility for your own needs and your own feelings and keep yourself safe and healthy. And they actually are, as we've discussed, a gift to your relationship, they make relationships better. And when you turn it around on its head like that, I think number one, that helps people understand all of the benefits to your relationship when each party does take responsibility for how they feel and for their needs. And it also gives you a sense of empowerment. I think people feel like, Oh, I can't set boundaries because what if the other person won't do it or doesn't say yes? And when I tell them, Oh no, no, no, your boundary cannot depend on somebody else. It is only dependent on what you are willing and able to do.”
So says Melissa Urban, a woman who can do everything. Not only is the founder of Whole30, she’s a six-time New York Times best-selling author. Her latest is the subject of our conversation today: It’s called "The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free,” which is the result of helping her community navigate through their relationships to...pretty much everything as they begin to fix and adjust their relationship to their own bodies and food. She is a fierce proponent of self-efficacy and a commitment to showing up for yourself in all aspects of life.
In our conversation, we discuss what a boundary even means—and how difficult it is for us to address what’s at the root of establishing them, which is our NEEDS. Melissa guides us through relatable scenarios, like with the in-laws or a boss, where boundaries might be missing. And we talk about the qualities of niceness and how they can get in the way of caring for ourselves: Melissa, who is fierce in her directness, distinguishes between the quality of niceness and the quality of kindness in a very profound way. And it all comes to this: We must first be kind to ourselves before we can show up with kindness in the world.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
- Direct not rude...
- Boundaries don’t tell other people what to do...
- Set limits, set expectations...
- Make the goal showing up for yourself...
MORE FROM MELISSA URBAN:
The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
Check out Melissa's Website
Follow Melissa on Instagram and Twitter
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5 Listeners
The Closet of Inauthenticity (Jessi Hempel)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
11/17/22 • 48 min
“My childhood was a childhood in the closet. I had some good things. I had some bad things, like living in the closet is, you know, not always terrible. It's simply not the greatest expression of, of who we have the capacity to become, I think. Um, but for my parents, you know, as my father went along in my childhood, he became more and more withdrawn and kept trying to do the right thing, was closeted even to himself. This was a secret he was keeping even from himself for most of my childhood. But it made him kind of a lousy partner. Right. My mother's experience was just a very, very lonely experience. Her life looked on the outside exactly like it was supposed to look, we lived in a nice community. She was married to a lawyer, or, you know, we looked great on a Christmas card, but it felt cavernous, just vacant and left with so much time on her own. Um, she really struggled not to let her memory present her with things to work on. And that led her to be very depressed throughout my childhood.”
So says Jessi Hempel, a long-time media and technology journalist, an award-winning host of the podcast, Hello Monday, and author of the new memoir, The Family Outing. Her book is a profound telling of family dynamics, offering lessons on accepting one's truest self. Specifically, it’s the story of a family who comes out of the closet to embrace their queer identities. Even Jessi’s mother, who is straight, lives in a type of closet, Jessi explains, as she nearly became the victim of a serial killer as a teenager—this unconfronted trauma affects her entire family’s life. In our conversation, Jessi shares her journey to emphasize the detrimental side-effects of shame and the non-linear path to liberation.
Our conversation explores the value of authenticity and navigating parts of ourselves we have not yet learned to face. She believes that when we“step into ourselves,” culture has the capacity to shift, allowing us all to live more gracefully. Okay, let’s get to our conversation.
MORE FROM JESSI HEMPEL:
Jessi’s podcast, Hello Monday
Follow Jessi on LinkedIn and Instagram
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5 Listeners
The Neuroscience of Manifestation (James Doty, M.D.)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
09/26/24 • 50 min
Dr. Jim Doty is a neurosurgeon, neuroscientist, and the director of Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. Jim is also a bestselling author—his first book, Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart, tells his improbable life story: Jim had a tough start in life. He wandered into a magic shop where he met the shop owner’s mother, Ruth, who offered to spend six weeks teaching him mindfulness and meditation—these weren’t really things at the time—and ultimately how to manifest. After a rollercoaster of a life, including manifesting the list of things he wanted as a tween, he found himself back at the bottom again, and began to attend to making real meaning with his life. This ushered in his last chapter, where he has become much more than a neurosurgeon: He is one of the leading figures in the globe drawing connections between the brain, compassion and care, and how love shows up in the world.
We caught up when Jim was in Riyadh, in the middle of the night for him—thank you Jim!—launching a new AI-enabled mental health app called Happi.ai, which isn’t therapy but is a friend in your pocket. Our conversation begins there before we dive into his newest book, Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How it Changes Everything. If you think of Manifestation as woo-woo, Jim explains why it’s actually not—and the underlying brain mechanisms that are activated when you focus attention and intention.
MORE FROM JAMES DOTY, M.D.:
Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How it Changes Everything
Jim’s App: Happi.ai
Jim’s Website
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4 Listeners
Building the House of Knowledge (Joy Harjo)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
09/16/21 • 54 min
“Humanity is messy, each of us starts with ourselves, it's horribly messy and then multiply that times millions. And that's an incredible, lovely mess.” So says Joy Harjo, the 23rd United States Poet Laureate, and the first Native American to hold that post. She is the author of nine books of poetry, several plays, and childrens books, and two memoirs—and is an internationally renowned performer and writer of the Muscogee nation, with an innumerable number of prizes and fellowships at her back. Today, we sit down to discuss her second memoir, POET WARRIOR, which just came out. It is beautiful—not only the story of her life, but a vehicle for deep wisdom about language, metaphor, and ritual. We—as individuals, as communities, as nations, and as humankind—exist in a collective story field, Harjo tells us. Everyone’s story must have a place, a thread within the larger tapestry—and our story field must constantly shift to include even the most difficult stories, the ones we want to forget and repress. But, as she remarks, the hard stories provide the building blocks for our house of knowledge—we cannot evolve without them.
To move forward, we must find ourselves in the messy story of humanity, assume our place as part of the earth in this time and in these challenges. For Harjo, it is when we turn to song, poetry, and the arts that we are able to re-root ourselves in the voice of inner truth, a knowing that has access to stories past, present, and future. And it is this wisdom of eternal knowledge that will help guide us forward—if we only stop to listen.
Joy is also the winner of the Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize, the PEN USA Literary Award for Nonfiction, the Jackson Prize from the Poetry Society of America, the Wallace Stevens Award from the Academy of American Poets, and the William Carlos Williams Award from the Poetry Society of America. Harjo is the recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship, the New Mexico Governor’s Award for Excellence in the Arts, the Rasmuson United States Artist Fellowship. She is a chancellor of the Academy of American Poets, Board of Directors Chair of the Native Arts & Cultures Foundation, and holds a Tulsa Artist Fellowship. In 2014 she was inducted into the Oklahoma Writers Hall of Fame.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
- Finding ourselves in the messy story of humanity...(6:33)
- Returning to rituals of becoming...(36:14)
- The story of mothers...(42:59)
MORE FROM JOY HARJO
Follow Joy on Twitter and on Instagram
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4 Listeners
1 Comment
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Calling In the Call-Out Culture (Loretta Ross)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
09/23/21 • 55 min
“Do you want to continue to live out the patterns of your childhood? Or do you want to make different choices? Are you programmed or are you self-determining?” So says Loretta Ross, Professor at Smith College in the Program for the Study of Women and Gender, a founder of reproductive justice theory, and an expert on feminism, racism, and human rights. Loretta has co-written three books on reproductive justice and is the author of the forthcoming book, Calling In the Calling Out Culture. Loretta has been a leader in the human rights movement for decades—she worked with Reverend C.T. Vivian, one of Martin Luther King’s right hands, to rehabilitate former members of hate groups. As a rape and incest survivor herself, she taught Black feminism to incarcerated rapists. She has learned, throughout her career, to lift the hood on peoples’ lived experiences—the identity they project to the world—and determine, through courageous conversation, where their humanity lies, and where their values overlap. She believes with a certain fierceness that we have far more in common with each other—across the entire political spectrum—than not. In recent years, she has become a vocal opponent of cancel culture—ironically, people have attempted to cancel her for this—because, as she explains, she’s interested in being part of a movement and not a cult. She believes that political purity and the policing of other allies is...the opposite of helpful. And that in the process of building coalitions for sweeping social change and evolution, we alienate and lose people who would otherwise want the very same things as us.
Today, she gives us a crash course in the practice of calling in - an alternative to calling out, or publicly shaming those whose behavior or beliefs we deem unacceptable. In a culture devoid of empathy and grace, Ross implores us to offer people a chance to change, to give them the opportunity to be as good on the outside as they think they are on the inside. For Ross, recognizing that how we do the work is just as important as the work we do, gives us the incredible opportunity to bring more people in, building the power base of the social justice movement. When we choose to use calling in practices, she says, we choose them because of who we are, not because of who the other person is, and when we affirm the humanity of others, we affirm our own humanity in turn.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
- Identifying your circles of influence...(8:31)
- The Uncle Frank strategy...(21:14)
- Programming vs. self-determining...(27:29)
- Guidelines for the creation of a calling-in environment...(42:15)
MORE FROM LORETTA ROSS
Loretta Ross’ Website
Preorder her book, Calling in the Calling Out Culture, by joining her mailing list
Take the online course: Calling In the Calling Out Culture in the Age of Trump
Follow Loretta on Twitter
READ HER WORK
Undivided Rights: Women of Color Organizing for Reproductive Justice
Reproductive Justice: an Introduction
Radical Reproductive Justice: Foundations, Theory, Practice, Critique
Reproductive Justice as Intersectional Feminist Activism
DIG DEEPER
I’m a Black Feminist. I Think Call-Out Culture Is Toxic. - Loretta Ross, NYT Op-Ed, August 2019
Speaking Up Without Tearing Down - Loretta Ross, Spring 2019
What if Instead of Calling People Out, We Called Them In? - Jessica Bennett, NY Times, November 2020
Up From Hatred - Michael D'Antonio, LA Times, August 1997
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4 Listeners
1 Comment
1
When Women Lead (Julia Boorstin)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
10/13/22 • 60 min
“But my other favorite thing about the confidence piece, as someone who can be very anxious and nervous myself, is that sometimes it's valuable not to be confident. And there is this piece in the book about how everyone would benefit if, when you're making decisions, you start off in an information gathering stage. And instead of being super confident when you're trying to gather data, you turn down your confidence, be not confident at all, be confused, be concerned, be anxious. Gather all the data, as many differing viewpoints as possible. Once you've figured out the right answer with all the humility that you could possibly have, jack up your confidence and then you execute. And this idea that confidence can be on a dial and there's value in not being confident sometimes is something that I was never taught. And that feels very reassuring to learn,” so says Julia Boorstin, who has spent over two decades as a reporter, working for CNBC, CNN, and Fortune. She’s also the creator of the “Disruptor 50” franchise, a list which highlights private companies transforming the economy and challenging companies in established industries. Her first book, When Women Lead, draws on her work studying and interviewing hundreds of executives throughout her impressive career to tell the stories of more than 60 female CEOs and leaders who have fought massive social and institutional headwinds to run some of the world’s most innovative and successful companies.
Combining years of academic research and interviews, Julia reveals these women’s powerful commonalities—they are highly adaptive to change, deeply empathetic in their management style, and much more likely to integrate diverse points of view into their business strategies. This makes these women uniquely equipped to lead, grow businesses, and navigate crises in ways where their male counterparts don’t seem as gifted.
Today’s episode digs into Boorstin’s meticulously researched book as we cover a few of the female tendencies that correlate with great leadership: how women embrace the role of fire-prevention as opposed to fire fighting; their ability to avoid ethical quandaries and group think; and the value of gaining confidence through experience. The monoculture tends to focus on iconic female leaders, she tells us, but there is so much more to gain from focusing on the stories that are not being told, expanding the diversity of images of success for women and men alike.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
- Female qualities correlate with great leadership...
- Women as fire preventers...
- The myth of the confidence gap...
- Feedback bias...
MORE FROM JULIA BOORSTIN:
When Women Lead: What They Achieve, Why They Succeed, and How We Can Learn from Them
Follow Julia on Instagram and Twitter
DIVE DEEPER:
“How the VC Pitch Process Is Failing Female Entrepreneurs,” Harvard Business Review
“The Remarkable Power of Hope,” Psychology Today
“Language Bias in Performance Feedback,” Textio 2022 Study
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3 Listeners
The Beauty of Aging (Nigma Talib, N.D.)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
05/26/22 • 52 min
“I think the key is to really believe it when you see something that you're doing every day in your diet that is making your hormones off or your skin off it, a lot of women know what's happening to their bodies. We're more intuitive in that way than men are. So I think it sounds really cheesy and we've heard it over and over again, but please listen to your body because it's telling you something. And so I think that, I think that it's just important to listen and make a note of things that make us feel terrible and things that make us feel good.” So says Dr. Nigma Talib, a Los Angeles based Naturopathic Doctor and the author of the best selling book, Younger Skin Starts in the Gut. A pioneer in the Naturopathic medical profession, Dr. Nigma has been asked to speak all over the world, bringing light to the root causes of illness and how the application of cutting edge dietary, supplemental and functional laboratory testing guidance can correct health issues and enable optimal well-being.
Dr. Nigma joins me today to talk about all things wellness, from Vitamin D deficiency and sleep hygiene, to stool tests and hormones. We discuss the nutritional supplements to take to ensure you look like a grape, not a raisin; the importance of the 80/20 rule; and how to establish your personal hormonal baseline through testing. Our hormones are messengers, she tells us, but when they are out of whack wires can get crossed, leading to fatigue, joint pain, premature aging and depression - making it all the more important that we listen to our bodies and get curious, putting together the pieces of our health in a way that allows us to live optimally and feel our best.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
- Grapes, not raisins...
- Exploring the 80/20 rule...
- The essential supplement checklist...
- Exercise, done right...
MORE FROM DR. NIGMA TALIB:
Reverse the Signs of Ageing: The Revolutionary Inside-Out Plan to Glowing, Youthful Skin
Visit Dr. Nigma Talib’s Website
Follow Dr. Nigma on Twitter and Instagram
DIG DEEPER:
Exercised: Why Something We Never Evolved to Do Is Healthy and Rewarding
Hate Working Out? Blame Evolution - NYT, January 2021
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3 Listeners
1 Comment
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Having Conversations We’d Rather Avoid (Celeste Headlee)
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen
03/24/22 • 53 min
"So if we take that off the table, if we take off this, this goal of changing somebody's mind, then what are you left with? What's what's your purpose in the conversation? And I feel like not only is that more attainable to have a conversation in which you are exchanging ideas, just exchanging ideas, changing information, that's attainable every time. But also it relieves some pressure, right? I mean, sometimes I feel like people see conversations as frustrating because they keep trying to do something that's impossible. Maybe it would be more enjoyable for you if you weren't trying to beat your head against the wall. I feel like that that paragraph from Carl Rogers is not just something that is useful to tell the other person. I think it's mostly for you. Like for you to tell yourself, I'm not here to change you. I'm just here to listen and understand."
So says Celeste Headlee, award-winning radio journalist and author of many incredible books, including Do Nothing, We Need to Talk, and Speaking of Race. Celeste, a self-described “light-skinned Black Jew,” has been having hard conversations about race since she was a little kid. Already an astute observer of culture, she has notated throughout her life how unproductive these conversations tend to be, how we shut down and get defensive, or try to reinforce our own sense of righteousness.
In today’s conversation, we explore the reasons we’ve become culturally calcified as well as antidotes for taking on tough and essential topics. In Celeste’s experience, the more reserved we become about leaning into potential conflict the more fear enters the equation: And right now, one of the worst labels you can hear is that you are racist.
I loved DO NOTHING and I also loved Speaking of Race, because at its heart it is also just about the art of conversation--and active listening. And Celeste has a lot of experience: She is a regular guest host on NPR and American Public Media, and her Tedx Talk on having better conversations has been viewed over 23 million times.
While I’ve got your attention on Celeste, you need to listen to her season with John Biewen on Scene on Radio: They did an incredible series of episodes about misogyny, and his season on race, called Seeing White, which he co-hosted with Chenjerai Kumanyika is incredible.
MORE FROM CELESTE HEADLEE:
Celeste’s Website
Follow Celeste on Instagram and Twitter
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2 Listeners
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FAQ
How many episodes does Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen have?
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen currently has 190 episodes available.
What topics does Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen cover?
The podcast is about Society & Culture, Podcasts, Self-Improvement and Education.
What is the most popular episode on Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen?
The episode title 'What Makes Love Last (John & Julie Gottman, PhDs)' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen?
The average episode length on Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen is 57 minutes.
How often are episodes of Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen released?
Episodes of Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen are typically released every 7 days.
When was the first episode of Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen?
The first episode of Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen was released on Aug 30, 2021.
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