Pregnancy Loss

What support is available for you in hospital if you lose your baby

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 21 min

Welcome to another ‘Meet the Makers’ episode where we chat to Louise Zeniou from Cradle. When we spoke to Louise, she had been having a busy few days with various media interviews, and in-between her busy schedule she managed to sneak in an interview with us whilst sat on the floor outside the toilets in Pret!

Louise has a personal experience of what it feels like to go through early pregnancy loss when she became ill and diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. As she was so ill, she was rushed into hospital and had surgery immediately. She talks about the amazing care she received, but after surgery she missed the most basic of items such as a toothbrush and a hairbrush.

The Comfort Bag

From her own experience, Louise started the Comfort Bag Project with the aim to support hospitals, so that in those early moments of pregnancy loss women and men can be provided with toiletries and other products to give them a little comfort and importantly dignity. In the bag, Louise also includes a personal message to give immediate words of comfort following a loss and the ways bereaved parents can connect for support once they have been discharged from the hospital.

How Cradle Supports the NHS

Cradle provides Comfort Bags to various hospitals across the country and it’s growing! From just starting out as one, Louise now has 73 volunteer ambassadors. Cradle also works with Hospital Trusts as the patient voice to help in the development of services and projects for bereaved parents.

Signposting

The role of Cradle is also to signpost to various support and counseling services to offer parents much-needed professional support.

Want to get involved?

Contact Louise for information on how you can become an ambassador for Cradle.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

CRADLE

@fertilitypoddy

Dr. Jessica Farren – Research paper

What is progesterone hypersensitivity?

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 24 min

How are you doing? Hopefully, you are coping and taking things a day at a time, which we feel is the best approach. Somedays you are acing it and others... maybe not so and that is just fine! We're doing our best to keep sharing out content and hopefully, you know by now, We’re passionate about sharing real-life stories to bring fertility struggles to life.

So meet Kate Pleace who, like Podcast Kate, is a fertility nurse. Kate used to work at Bourne Hall Fertility Clinic in Colchester and found herself on the other side of the consulting room facing early menopause. Kate and her husband decided on egg donation and their treatment was successful the first time.

Progesterone Hypersensitivity

Kate started progesterone treatment to help support the developing pregnancy but unfortunately, things took a surprising turn when Kate became ill as a result of the rare condition Progesterone Hypersensitivity. Kate and her husband made the difficult decision to stop her progesterone therapy and unfortunately miscarried a few weeks later.

The impact on physical and emotional health

Kate’s physical and emotional recovery took months and Kate felt consumed with grief, all the while she was still working. Eventually Kate sort help and advice from a specialist. This helped with many of her unanswered questions and how the progesterone treatment affected her both physically and mentally during the treatment. Kate recommends that if you’re concerned about any symptoms, however minor, it’s important to reach out to your clinic for help and advice.

Moving forward

Kate has now reached a really positive place in her life, and despite not having children her life is full of so many wonderful things. She says that her experience has made her a stronger person and she’s now doing things that she would have never done before.

It is important to note that Progesterone Hypersensitivity to the degree that Kate experienced it is very rare.

If you have any concerns about this, please speak to your clinic. Plus, do you have a story to tell? Have you gone through something more unusual? If so, please reach out to us, as we would love to hear and tell your story email [email protected]

Definition: Progesterone Hypersensitivity is a rare disorder that has been scarcely, but worldwide reported. Symptoms can range from skin conditions such as urticaria and dermatitis to more severe reactions such as anxiety, weight loss, gastric and vasomotor symptoms.

SOCIAL:

Natalie on Insta

Kate on Insta

What is Ashermans syndrome?

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 49 min

This week, we hear from our guest presenter Katy Linderman in conversation with Emilie Jones-Ransley. We asked Katy to have this conversation for us as both ladies have had infertility struggles, due to thin lining issues and talk about being members of 'The Thin Lining Brigade'

Missed Miscarriage

Emilie talks about her experience of missed miscarriage and the surgery she had to had, to remove it ( ERP C)and how after that she didn’t feel right two months later and she had to have further treatment. She explains how traumatic this period of time was for her. Katy shares her experience of also having to have an ERPC and the issues around her hormones levels being high, 5 weeks later and how awful the experience was as your body still thinks you are pregnant.

Hysteroscopy

Medical procedures can cause scaring and Emile talks about how she only found out by chance after having further fertility investigations by chance. A conversation with her doctor about her periods being regular saw Emilie being booked in for a hysteroscopy, a procedure to look at your uterus with a tiny camera to check your lining. This was seven months after her second ERPC.

Ashermans Syndrome

Emilie found out that half her Uterus was full of scars which means there is a layer of scaring on the endometrium meaning it doesn’t shed properly. Both Katy and Emile talk in details about the types of blood changes in your period and how important it is to realise that if it has changed significantly as it could be a sign of Ashermans. Scaring almost makes it very difficult for an embryo to impact and it can also be dangerous and could cause a miscarriage. The scaring can be removed with a laser, however, in Emilie’s case, they punctured her uterus.

The A-listers

Specific Doctors who specialise in these procedures. Medical insurance does cover miscarriage and gynaecology - as these surgeries can be covered. The Ashermans Facebook group shares a list of these people.

Knicker Watch and IVF

Permanently wanting your period and wanting ‘red blood’ when you are having treatment for Ashermans or thin lining treatment. Emilie had three unsuccessful rounds of funded IVF and then they moved onto having further private rounds with PGS testing. After her fourth round, Emilie had the summer off and talks about the importance of having a break during treatment. They then attempted frozen embryo transfers but Emile was still struggling with lining issues.

‘Decent Lining’

We're talking thickness and appearance as the ladies discuss that 'Triple' means - three layers, so it looks white and the thickest part should be measured and ideally, for IVF it should preferably be 8 mm or above. Normal is 13 or 14mm. Both Katy and Emilie talk about feeling like they couldn’t get off the starting line due to their lining issues and how difficult that is. Feeling like your body isn’t working and the feelings of anger towards your body.

Deciding to use a surrogate

After 10 failed IVF rounds, Emilie and her husband decided to go down the surrogacy route with a Ukrainian Surrogacy and hope to bring their baby girl home in August.

Dr. Adrian Lower - Asherman’s expert explains

Adrian explains how Ashermans is caused and how it impacts the endometrium. We discuss the number of women who are diagnosed and undiagnosed and Adrian explains how and why Asherman's is largely unrecognized. It could be up to 5% or more of people who have surgical procedures and then have scarring. The problem is that people question if it exists and Adrian says he sees four or five people a week with the condition and how it is important that people look for it.

Saline infusion scan or Hysteroscopy.

Adrian explains how pumping saline into the womb to dilate it helps to see the scaring or tissue as does a hysteroscopy. Women don’t realize as they might find their periods become lighter after a period or a termination and if they aren’t actively trying to conceive it might be seen as a benefit. If women are still trying to conceive, if part of the cavity is obliterated it has a profound effect on their fertility and it can be treated.

How do your periods change?

This is the first sign and consultants need to listen to patients more and should be investigated further to see if there is a physical cause. Sometimes the scaring is because the uterus is an abnormal shape, there might be a false passage from the DNC. Unless it is being looked for it can be increased, and create more...

Trailer: We need to talk about miscarriage

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 3 min

We need to talk about miscarriage.

The Psychological Trauma of Miscarriage

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 27 min

Welcome to the very first episode of The Miscarriage Series where we will spend the coming weeks bringing you real stories and expert interviews about the difficult topic of miscarriage. This week’s episode is with Dr. Jessica Farren who Kate and I met in London, in her kitchen before we went into lockdown.

Jessica is an Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at Imperial College Health Care Trust and we spoke about her involvement in research that was published earlier this year. Jessica looked at the psychological impact of early pregnancy events and in particular miscarriage.

The Trauma of Miscarriage

The study looked at symptoms relating to anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and how high these levels are shortly after experiencing a miscarriage and then months later. The study found that at 9 months 1:6 women are still experiencing symptoms suggestive of PTSD.

How to improve support

Frequently women are discharged from the hospital very quickly following a miscarriage and often without a follow-up. Jessica suggests that this poses a lost opportunity for support and the ability to ask questions after a miscarriage which can help to reduce self-blame.

Jessica talks about the importance of healthcare staff managing expectations at the first scan, particularly if the scan does not have a positive outcome.

How can we talk more freely about miscarriage?

Jessica talks about the concept of not talking about a pregnancy until after the 12-week point and how it would be much better if women did feel that they can open up and talk before this time, and in particular if they miscarry.

Miscarriage and the Workplace

A miscarriage occurs in a woman’s life span during their peak contribution to society both at work and in the workplace, the impact of PTSD in both environments is huge. The work we are doing as part of our Fertility Matters at Work initiative will be providing support and guidance for anyone dealing with this.

The First Scan

Jessica tells us that it is very common to have an inconclusive scan at 5-6 weeks but by 8 weeks you would expect to see a pregnancy developing normally. She also mentions that for IVF pregnancies it would be preferable to be able to be more conclusive with scans for this group.

Why it’s not possible to investigate a miscarriage until after 3

70% of miscarriages are genetically abnormal and therefore investigating for this after one or even two miscarriages doesn’t change how anything would be managed going forward. Jessica does think there is a move to investigate after two miscarriages in the future.

The impact of miscarriage on men

The research also considered men and this will be published soon. Jessica did say that whilst men had lower levels of the psychological disorders assessed, they did still suffer.

Socials:

Talking about your Miscarriage

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 31 min

Meet Katy Leeson, Managing Director of Social Chain who also hosts a podcast called 'I Shouldn't Say This But' and at the time of us chatting had just been nominated for an award for 'Leading the Charge and Pushing the Boundaries' with Campaign Magazine ( a big industry title ) I spoke with Katy in real life at Social Chain's very cool office in central Manchester, in the days where you could do that, which is why Kate isn't in this episode.

Self Protection

Katy spoke about her struggle with the responsibility of being a young female Managing Director. She had imposter syndrome and took herself into therapy sessions to get support on how best to deal with it. In the context of this chat, Katy explained how she made sure she was mentally prepared to talk about her miscarriage in the public sphere because she had no idea what the reaction would be and she was nervous that people would tell her it wasn't the right place or platform - something so many people fear when talking about infertility.

Baby Loss Awareness Week

Katy shared her story in October 2019, a year on from her miscarriage which happened in December 2018. She spoke about the challenges of that time of year with everybody being together and how it forced her into telling people that I was pregnant, as she wasn't drinking in the Chrimbo celebrations - this was before the '12 week' point. Her family and friends knew and so she also had to share her that she had miscarried on Christmas Eve because she didn't want to get messages wishing her the best Christmas and New Year because I was going to have a baby in the next year. Katy talked about feeling that she was also ruining other people's Christmas because I'd tell them such sad news.

Miscarrying Naturally

Katy spoke about how she miscarried naturally the day before she was due to be put under for the operation. The first the scan she had, she said felt a good connection to someone who really cared and she said 'You look healthy, everything there on the scan looks healthy, you've just started an unfortunate experience, there was just a problem with that egg or that sperm, and you should be fine and I can't wait to see you again' which Katy said gave her such hope as every other interaction she had, felt like she was just being told to get on with things.

Breakdown in Communication.

Katy explained how she was still getting letters about having scans for her pregnancy after she had miscarried due to being registered with two different hospitals and how they were ringing her partner but wouldn't speak to him so he couldn't even act as her gatekeeper for. This meant in the end, she had to have numerous conversations reliving her experience over and over/

Telling Work

Katy talked about how she had spoken to others about how much of a lift it is, to be told it's not your fault, which is such a straightforward piece of information to give to somebody. We talked about how she had no follow up conversations after going through it and wasn't given any guidance on where to find support. She had stopped her therapy and hadn't told her work as she didn't want to tell them she was going through 'something so horrific' because she was worried they would think she would then be trying again and be off on Maternity. So she didn't tell anyone and struggled with it from Christmas until Easter - which is when she said the broke down. When she did tell them, they were amazing

Talking it through in Therapy

Katy discussed the grieving process with her therapist and how she had been putting so much pressure on herself with her work and doing the right thing by others. She talked about giving herself permission to grieve once she had accessed support once again. She also talked about how she went to the doctors and was given antidepressants, which she is still on

The Impact of Miscarriage

We talked about how misunderstood miscarriage is an how when she shared her experience in conversation with Ruth Bender Atik from The Miscarriage Association, Ruth explained how Miscarriage affects people in different ways. "Some people feel relieved, some people feel absolutely distraught." Katy talked about how she felt guilty about feeling sad about something that she didn't even think that she wanted at that point

Preconception care in the workplace

Katy talked about what support is available at Social Chain, how they have therapists that we use, and how seeing hers changed my life. She spoke about the lack of understanding in the corporate space for these issues and how workplaces have a responsibility for understanding their employees be...

Saying Goodbye with support

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 45 min

Sadly, we’re almost coming to the end of our Miscarriage series, and this time we’re talking about support. Sometimes it can be difficult to reach out for support, especially as miscarriage is tragically still viewed a taboo subject.

In this episode, we chat with Zoe Clarke-Coates. Zoe is the co-founder of the award-winning charity ‘The Mariposa Trust’ (widely known by the name of its primary division called sayinggoodbye.org) and the author of 3 books, which are essential reading for anyone who is grieving.

Zoe is also the co-chair of the Government’s National Pregnancy Loss Review. Zoe’s interview is essential listening if you are, or have experienced baby loss, no matter whether this is recently or years ago. We talk about the support Zoe’s charity offers, how miscarriage care is changing for the better and how it is possible to move forward with hope and joy for the future.

The Taboo of Miscarriage

The culture surrounding miscarriage is the belief that you shouldn’t talk about being pregnant until you’re past the 12-week point. However, this serves to enforce the taboo surrounding miscarriage, as does our UK culture of finding it difficult to talk about death. Until we can openly discuss death and early pregnancy it will be difficult to remove this taboo.

National Loss Certificate

We discuss how the care of bereaved parents following a miscarriage, is changing for the better, especially with Zoe’s involvement in the recent Governmental review and the work of Zoe’s charity in promoting good NHS care for women and couples who have experienced baby loss.

Zoe launched a campaign to acknowledge early pregnancy and advocates that bereaved parents can choose to receive a National Loss certificate in the same way that a birth and death certificate is issued. Therefore acknowledging the loss.

Support from ‘Saying Goodbye’

Zoe’s charity offers various support, and one of the lovely things they do is hold regular Remembrance Services. Zoe talks about how emotional these events are but how it has such a powerful and beautiful impact for bereaved parents. She also tells us about how miscarriage can impact on a relationship and how the charity supports couples as well as the individual.

Moving forward with hope

Zoe believes that it is important to help people to find hope again and that people need lighthouses to show hope for the future. It is about acknowledging the pain and giving language to grief but also saying that even while you are feeling this, there is hope.

The Books

Zoe has published books some of which are practical books to help couples to process grief and move forward. These are applicable if you have just gone through a loss or even if you experienced baby loss over 20 years ago – the books are there to offer support and practical guidance. Zoe has also written ‘Beyond Goodbye’ which is a general book for anyone experiencing any type of loss such as the loss of a parent, spouse, sibling or friend.

In our chat we talk about another podcast interview Zoe had with Cariad Lloyd who hosts the brilliant Griefcast and I wanted to share that with you also

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Zoe Clarke-Coates

Saying Goodbye

Natalie Silverman

Your Fertility Journey

Life after Stillbirth

Pregnancy Loss

03/07/22 • 41 min

Meet our guest, Frankie Brunker, author of These Precious Little People

Please be warned that this weeks’ episode is a hard-hitting and emotional one. It is a raw and emotional account of stillbirth and the grief that follows. I chatted with Frankie Brunker, after meeting her met at a fabulous Yoga day put on by Lucy from The Rainbow Running club.

Route to Parenthood

Frankie’s route to parenthood started really quickly after conceiving in the first month of trying however, devastatingly their daughter was born stillborn at 38 weeks. This came as a complete shock.

Frankie’s husband had to call their family from the hospital to break the news. Frankie felt so concerned about telling family and how they would feel, particularly her nieces and nephews who were excited about a new baby coming into the family. They decided that they needed to be insular and in their own little bubble to get through this difficult time, one day at a time.

The Funeral

Frankie made the decision for her nieces and nephews not to attend the funeral of their daughter. At the time, this felt like the right decision but now Frankie has some regrets and is now mindful that not being included may make it more difficult for children, in general, to deal with grief.

Experiencing a Stillbirth

Frankie talks about her experience of giving birth at the hospital and how she felt that some of the midwives had limited experience of caring for a mother delivering a stillborn baby, and that she felt there were gaps in the bereavement care she and her husband received.

Frankie’s honest account of the, sometimes insensitive and ignorant, remarks she has received along the way is powerful and arresting

Precious Little People

As a result of her experience, Frankie is now the author of a beautiful children’s book to help explain baby loss to children but also Frankie says the book helps adults to come to terms with grief too. Her aim for the book is that you can talk about loss of your baby but that you can still think of them and smile. Her book aims to appeals to bereaved parents from diverse communities and cultures.

Blogging as a bereaved parent

Frankie has recently written a blog giving support to bereaved parents who may be finding it especially difficult going through this experience during lockdown, and urges people to reach out for support.

SOCIAL MEDIA:

Frankie Brunker Instagram: @thesepreciouslittlepeople