Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges

We all want the instant solution, "magic wand" kind of get-what-I-want-quick resolution. Parents try to come at this in so many directions... perhaps you've tried a few?

Coulda, woulda, shoulda: "If I had known", "if I had said that differently", "if they hadn't been dating that person", "if their dad wouldn't have lost his temper... THEN we wouldn't be here." That's the "magic wand" we missed out on perspective.

Be everywhere, know everything, do all the things right: This one feels ultra productive, in control, and frenzied! We run around, chasing fires and putting them out, until we realize that we can't be/do/know everything and our pipe dream comes to an abrupt end that leaves us exhausted with very little to show except an angry teen. This is the, after all I've done, I deserve a "magic wand" approach.

Bookworm approach: Read books, listen to podcasts, learn, learn, learn and nothing seems to provide the big shift that's so desperately needed. It can feel like so much knowledge is gained but there's not much to show for it, kinda "magic wand".

Avoid approach: We blame someone like our spouse, their friends or even our kid. We stay busy, hoping that the issue will take care of itself. We might talk about it, but can't think of any step to take towards resolution. This is the "too confused, burnt out, and busy to deal" kind of "magic wand". We simply hope it will disappear with time.

These are only a few examples of ineffective "magic wands" that parents wave around, hoping to feel better, ease the household tension, and help their kid feel happy and respond more favorably to them. If you've tried any, you know that they don't work so well.

Listen in to this week's Pivot Parenting episode to learn why they don't work and what to do instead.

To grab a free strategy call with me, please visit me at Heatherfrazier.com

One of the most common points of contention parents and teens have: Screens.

Video games, phones, vegging out for hours... while chores, school work and people are neglected. Listen in as I explain the simple two step process of prying your teen off their device and back into the real word. Psychologically founded and sure to be "do-able" for all families, my process is one that feels good for everyone and fosters emotional health and love.

It's not impossible and it's not too late.

To grab 30 minutes of fine-tuning what you learn on this episode, book a free consult. xoxo

Today I have Jennifer on to talk about all things consent, self- abandonment, teaching healthy sexuality, and advocacy. I get that talking about such topics can feel awkward, intimidating, and confusing as to how to go about it. Stress no more! One of my favorite things Jennifer said was, "if you want someone's approval it puts you at a disadvantage." She was referencing the story of my first kiss, which I tell in my book, How I Fixed My Teen, and how I really wanted him to like me and how I let things go too far in an effort to win his approval... and also because I totally froze. We talk about that as well. You don't want to miss listening in as we spill all the tea in the best of ways.

To order the book that we reference, and learn more about parenting your teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

About Jennifer: I am a relationship and sexuality educator and coach, as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Illinois with a Ph.D in Counseling Psychology from Boston College. I wrote my dissertation on LDS women and sexuality, and have taught college-level courses on human sexuality. I currently teach online courses and live workshops to individuals and couples seeking to develop their capacity for deeper emotional and sexual intimacy. Additionally, I offer limited private and group coaching services to individuals and couples who have benefitted from my podcasts and courses and are looking for more direct input on improving their lives and relationships.

I am a frequent contributor on the subjects of sexuality, relationships, and spirituality to LDS-themed blogs, magazines, and podcasts, including the “Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist” podcast series. My husband and I are the parents of three children and are active members of the LDS church.

You can find Jennifer at: finlayson-fife.com

Routine is shown to help manage stress and anxiety, help in productivity and make life feel generally better. Enter, a parents morning routine. Helping teens get out the door each day, fitting in time for ourselves while doing all of the other things on the list can feel daunting. In todays Pivot Parenting episode, I chat with morning routine expert, Ahna Fulmer.

We discuss all of the things: why it can be helpful, how it can work for everyone, when one should begin a routine and everything in between.

To learn more about parenting your teen, and ordering my best seller, How I Fixed my Teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

About my Ahna Fulmer: am passionate about helping women Rise Well A dual-certified nurse practitioner with 10 years of emergency medicine experience, I want to empower you with practical, data-driven strategies to rise emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually well, fulfilling your God-given purpose with more confidence and joy – one imperfect day at a time.

Whether you join me in the Early Morning HabitTM, a premier virtual program helping busy women rise well with a morning routine that starts each day with God’s Word and a workout while offering hope to a child waiting to be adopted into a forever family, on my top-rated health & fitness podcast, imPERFECTly emPOWERedTM, or on the blog here at ahnafulmer.com, you will be inspired to embrace imperfection as perfectly beautiful and mistakes as part of your unmistakable uniqueness. Because your story matters and YOU ARE LOVED.

Get Ahna's free guide: Busy Woman's Morning Guide

When our kids know who they are, independent from accomplishment, others opinions, and other external details, they have more confidence, happiness and success. So how do we help them work this out during the typically hardest 'identity' years they'll have? Listen in as Traci and I go over all the details you need to know!

To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

About my guest: Traci Peterson is an international speaker, highly sought after trainer, has spoken to over 23,000 people, performed in front of 100,000 in sports audiences. She's been a board-certified family nurse practitioner, founder/CEO of Elevate Wellness & Aesthetics, she's treated over 6,000 female patients, is co-founder of The Butterfly Campaign and the #1 Top Team Builder in 50 Countries with Amare, for outstanding leadership and long-term team retention. Her latest project is BE: A Mother Daughter Movement grounded in connection and protection. She cites that her greatest accomplishment is being a mother to 3 very active children!

She prides herself in mastering her roles as a mother, wife and woman of faith and leading by example in all of her leadership roles. With collective medical, wellness, aesthetics and leadership experience of 15+ years, Traci is widely regarded by her male and female peers, patients, clients, entrepreneurs and mom’s alike. She helps high-performing women and their daughters conquer self-criticism and comparison through identifying your unique and divine gifts. And finding validation is learning to love yourself and lean on God. She helps people practically, remember who they are so they can confidently raise the next generation of leaders.

You can find Traci at:

www.tracipeterson.com [email protected] @motherdaughtermovement @tpete