Pivot Parenting: Expert Tips for Navigating Teen and Tween Challenges

I hear it all the time with clients and friends: One parent is the liaison between the kids and their spouse. They soften the blow of bad news, buffer the emotions of struggle, keep their teens secrets from the other parent because they both fear that parent's reaction, and generally act as a go-between to help manage their partner's emotions.

This can feel necessary to keep the peace. This can feel like an act of betrayal. This can feel like a last ditch effort to support everyone as best you can, being the glue that holds. And usually it’s a little of all of it with some resentment sprinkled on top because you don’t want this role but have no idea how to shift it.

In today's episode I’ll teach you:

• Why we do this
• How and when to stop this behavior
• What it is really creating

To book a free Peaceful Parenting Strategy call with me, click HERE and book the best spent 30 minutes you can take as a parent.

In this episode, I'm diving into the five common misunderstandings about trust that can trap parents and harm their relationships with their teens. Trust is a big issue, especially when teens engage in risky behaviors like lying, sneaking out, using substances, and other reckless actions. But what if we’re looking at trust all wrong? Here’s what we’ll cover:

• Why teens break our trust: Understanding the reasons behind lies, sneaking, and other unwanted behaviors.
• What trust really is (and isn't): Clarifying misconceptions about trust in parenting.
• What builds trust and what breaks it: Key actions that can either strengthen or damage your relationship.
• Why trust and love are separate—and why this is great news: How separating trust from love can change your perspective and improve all of your parenting interactions.
• How trust isn’t necessary to parent well: Discover why trust isn’t the foundation of effective parenting you might think, and what to focus on instead for best results.

Join me as we unpack these points and learn how to navigate trust issues with confidence, keeping your relationship with your teen strong and resilient.

We all want the instant solution, "magic wand" kind of get-what-I-want-quick resolution. Parents try to come at this in so many directions... perhaps you've tried a few?

Coulda, woulda, shoulda: "If I had known", "if I had said that differently", "if they hadn't been dating that person", "if their dad wouldn't have lost his temper... THEN we wouldn't be here." That's the "magic wand" we missed out on perspective.

Be everywhere, know everything, do all the things right: This one feels ultra productive, in control, and frenzied! We run around, chasing fires and putting them out, until we realize that we can't be/do/know everything and our pipe dream comes to an abrupt end that leaves us exhausted with very little to show except an angry teen. This is the, after all I've done, I deserve a "magic wand" approach.

Bookworm approach: Read books, listen to podcasts, learn, learn, learn and nothing seems to provide the big shift that's so desperately needed. It can feel like so much knowledge is gained but there's not much to show for it, kinda "magic wand".

Avoid approach: We blame someone like our spouse, their friends or even our kid. We stay busy, hoping that the issue will take care of itself. We might talk about it, but can't think of any step to take towards resolution. This is the "too confused, burnt out, and busy to deal" kind of "magic wand". We simply hope it will disappear with time.

These are only a few examples of ineffective "magic wands" that parents wave around, hoping to feel better, ease the household tension, and help their kid feel happy and respond more favorably to them. If you've tried any, you know that they don't work so well.

Listen in to this week's Pivot Parenting episode to learn why they don't work and what to do instead.

To grab a free strategy call with me, please visit me at Heatherfrazier.com

Routine is shown to help manage stress and anxiety, help in productivity and make life feel generally better. Enter, a parents morning routine. Helping teens get out the door each day, fitting in time for ourselves while doing all of the other things on the list can feel daunting. In todays Pivot Parenting episode, I chat with morning routine expert, Ahna Fulmer.

We discuss all of the things: why it can be helpful, how it can work for everyone, when one should begin a routine and everything in between.

To learn more about parenting your teen, and ordering my best seller, How I Fixed my Teen, visit me at heatherfrazier.com

About my Ahna Fulmer: am passionate about helping women Rise Well A dual-certified nurse practitioner with 10 years of emergency medicine experience, I want to empower you with practical, data-driven strategies to rise emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually well, fulfilling your God-given purpose with more confidence and joy – one imperfect day at a time.

Whether you join me in the Early Morning HabitTM, a premier virtual program helping busy women rise well with a morning routine that starts each day with God’s Word and a workout while offering hope to a child waiting to be adopted into a forever family, on my top-rated health & fitness podcast, imPERFECTly emPOWERedTM, or on the blog here at ahnafulmer.com, you will be inspired to embrace imperfection as perfectly beautiful and mistakes as part of your unmistakable uniqueness. Because your story matters and YOU ARE LOVED.

Get Ahna's free guide: Busy Woman's Morning Guide

When our kids know who they are, independent from accomplishment, others opinions, and other external details, they have more confidence, happiness and success. So how do we help them work this out during the typically hardest 'identity' years they'll have? Listen in as Traci and I go over all the details you need to know!

To learn more about parenting your teen, please visit me at heatherfrazier.com

About my guest: Traci Peterson is an international speaker, highly sought after trainer, has spoken to over 23,000 people, performed in front of 100,000 in sports audiences. She's been a board-certified family nurse practitioner, founder/CEO of Elevate Wellness & Aesthetics, she's treated over 6,000 female patients, is co-founder of The Butterfly Campaign and the #1 Top Team Builder in 50 Countries with Amare, for outstanding leadership and long-term team retention. Her latest project is BE: A Mother Daughter Movement grounded in connection and protection. She cites that her greatest accomplishment is being a mother to 3 very active children!

She prides herself in mastering her roles as a mother, wife and woman of faith and leading by example in all of her leadership roles. With collective medical, wellness, aesthetics and leadership experience of 15+ years, Traci is widely regarded by her male and female peers, patients, clients, entrepreneurs and mom’s alike. She helps high-performing women and their daughters conquer self-criticism and comparison through identifying your unique and divine gifts. And finding validation is learning to love yourself and lean on God. She helps people practically, remember who they are so they can confidently raise the next generation of leaders.

You can find Traci at:

www.tracipeterson.com [email protected] @motherdaughtermovement @tpete