#45 Jesse Thistle: Tracing Our Fathers’ Footsteps

Explicit content warning

09/22/21 • 35 min

Jesse Thistle is an assistant professor at York University in Toronto and an award-winning memoirist who wrote the top-selling Canadian book in 2020, but his success didn’t come easily. Prior to penning his celebrated emotional memoir From the Ashes, Thistle spent years struggling with issues of addiction and homelessness, a lifestyle he sees to some degree as the result of the absence of a father figure in his life. His own father was an addict and a thief who disappeared nearly 40 years ago, and no one has seen or heard from him since.

But how much of his father’s troubles can be traced back to the generations of men who came before him? On this episode of Paternal, Thistle wrestles with the myths he’s been told about his father, discusses how his own indigenous heritage contributed to years spent living on the streets of Canada, and breaks down the manifestations of intergenerational trauma, including addiction, abuse, homelessness, and crime.

Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

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#44 Jelani Memory: How To Have Tough Conversations With Your Kids

When it comes to being a father, Jelani Memory lives by a fairly simple motto: Kids are ready to have difficult conversations. He and his wife have put that idea into practice with their six kids and he’s also made it the anchor of A Kids Company About, a media company he co-founded in 2019 that focuses on developing books, podcasts and online courses rooted in helping parents better communicate with their kids about tough topics like racism, shame, gender, addiction and more. A Kids Company About drew international attention - and praise from Oprah Winfrey - as concerned parents flocked to the company’s line of books following the murder of George Floyd, a clear sign that Memory’s philosophy was resonating across the globe. On this episode of Paternal, Memory discusses how he and his wife spoke to their kids about Floyd’s murder, offers some of his strategies for connecting with kids over tough topics, and traces the roots of the company back to his own father, a prominent jazz musician and educator who left the family when Memory was just four years old.

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#46 Dr. Ian Kerner: The Sex Episode

Dr. Ian Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. He’s the author of a number of books on sexuality including the new York times bestseller She Comes First, and earlier this year released his latest book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, where he shares the some fundamental exercises he uses to help thousands of couples achieve more intimacy and enjoyment. On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Kerner dives deep into a variety of topics, including how men think and communicate about sex. He also offers some insights for people who grew up in homes where conversations about sex were completely neglected, how to avoid falling into unsatisfying routines in the bedroom, and what parents can do to create novelty and nuance in their sex lives after having kids.