#126 Paternal Workshop: Why It’s Hard For Men To Say “I’m Sorry”

03/13/25 • 33 min

Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the latest in a series of special episodes, this time to discuss a subject that a number of past guests have brought up over the years: Grace and self-compassion. He examines why some men hold themselves to impossible standards when it comes to work, relationships and parenting, and why the inability to forgive yourself is connected to the ability to apologize to others, and actually mean it.

Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at www.incontextcoaching.com.

Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at www.incontextcoaching.com.

Previous Episode

#125 Joseph Earl Thomas: Fatherhood, Regardless of Your Expectations

Acclaimed author Joseph Earl Thomas spent much of his childhood watching everyone around him, trying to figure out where he belonged. He grew up attending public school in Philadelphia and constantly scanned the classrooms and hallways to avoid being beaten up by bigger, stronger boys. And throughout his adolescence Thomas was always trying to figure out what a man is and what a man isn’t. Then he realized that he shouldn’t even bother with those expectations.

On this episode of Paternal, Thomas recounts what life was like growing in the Philadelphia neighborhood of Frankford, what he learned about violence and vulnerability from his grandfather, his own anxieties as a parent to four kids, and why he’s reluctant to say his life story fits “the hero-story narrative thing” of Black kids finding success in America. Thomas is the author of the 2023 memoir Sink, which was dubbed “an extraordinary memoir of Black American boyhood” by the New York Times.

Thomas’ memoir Sink and his 2024 novel God Bless You, Otis Spunkmeyer are available wherever you buy books.

Next Episode

#127 Jake Tapper: Leadership and Vulnerability (2023)

Jake Tapper has been a leading figure in American media for more than a decade, serving as the chief DC anchor at CNN, the host of the network’s weekday show “The Lead with Jake Tapper,” and the co-host of the Sunday public-affairs show, “State of the Union.” During that time he’s interviewed some of the most consequential and controversial figures in American politics, and in the process learned a few things about why powerful men are so reluctant to admit when they’re wrong, and what it costs them in the end. On this 2023 episode of Paternal, Tapper discusses how he balanced a high-powered career in journalism with a life as a father of two children, how his own father influenced his upbringing in Philadelphia, and the traits that make a successful leader. Tapper’s new book, All the Demons Are Here, is available wherever you buy books.