Parenting The Socially Phobic & Avoidant Adult

The socially phobic adult with avoidant personality and overly dependent behavior presents a complex and daunting therapeutic challenge. In fact, the mental health professions have been confounded by this clinical scenario.

This podcast provides critical information for parents and concerned persons of adults who have had a long-term struggle or paralysis with launching. Launching refers to social, academic, career, relationship, and emotional pursuits.

Jonathan Berent, L.C.S.W. has pioneered treatment for social and performance anxiety, having worked with thousands of patients since 1978. He is the author of "Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties" (Simon & Schuster) and "Work Makes Me Nervous" (Wiley). Jonathan has extensive media experience including Oprah, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, Fox, The New York Times, Newsday, The Chicago Tribune, and The Boston Globe. His website is www.socialanxiety.com.

The last thing 16 yr. old “Arthur” wanted was to go to therapy when he was in the midst of his school phobia. This social anxiety-driven problem had persisted since elementary school. He spent his days depressed; in his room playing computer baseball. His only friend was his cousin. His parents “didn’t know what to do”, but they learned how to enlist him in treatment. In this interview Arthur describes his metamorphosis into a “social butterfly”.

In this rare interview patient "Z" describes how she overcame debilitating perfectionism and performance anxiety. The average teen suffering with social anxiety does not have initiative for their mental health which requires therapeutic parenting concurrent to individual work. In her year before college "Z" beat the odds and accomplished therapeutic success without involving her parents therapeutically.

Kirk Rueter was a pitcher in the major leagues for 13 years. He won the most games as a lefthander for the San Francisco Giants. He and his wife Karla had two wonderful children. One had selective mutism. In this stimulating, realistic, and frank interview, the Rueters describe, in detail, their treatment experience. After non-productive encounters with previous therapists, which is very common, therapy with Jonathan was initiated via telephone as the Rueters lived in the Midwest and Jonathan is on Long Island, New York. Their process included parenting team work, implementing non-enabling strategies, helping the child identify thoughts and feelings, and implementing the therapeutic strategy within the school setting. Especially important is the process of parents managing their own emotions and anxieties in order to facilitate healing.

Anger and rage occur at different levels of consciousness. Anger is energy. Unresolved; it recycles and drives obsessive worry , anxiety, and a myriad of problems from substance dependence to pain. Internalized anger causes depression. While it may sound a bit weird, repressed anger is the core emotion which drives panic. “Eric” describes the “energy” of his anger as it relates to anxiety and depression with insight into the social “pecking order”.