Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo

Have I told you this week how much my family loved Duck Dynasty all those years ago? If not, let me reiterate our love by sharing a few of my favorite Duck Dynasty lines:

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife) . . . but still my own. —Si Robertson

You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways. —Jase Robertson

My advice is: Don't take yourself too seriously, laugh a lot, enjoy your time with family, and appreciate the unique talents of others. Trust in God, love your neighbor, say you're sorry, forgive, and work hard. —Willie Robertson

Knowing my love for this family, you can appreciate how excited I am to have Missy Robertson joining us today. We’re talking about loving our kids unconditionally and her new children’s book written about this important subject. Our conversation also comes at a very interesting time in her life as she and Jace were unexpectedly given custody of a newborn and are working through the details of that.

Missy has a great word on standing in the gap for people around us and how their family has tried to live missionally before, during, and after the platform of Duck Dynasty. Her words on the importance of the nuclear family (and the attacks on it) are so good, and I’m grateful for the passion she has to speak into it.

Having talked to so many of the Duck Dynasty crew in the past, I’m now grateful to meet Missy, and I know you’re going to love her!

Resources from today's show:

Because You’re My Family

Average Boy’s Above-Average Year

Parent Prayer Challenge

David Thomas never disappoints! As a counselor with decades of experience, David has counseled thousands of families of boys. He brings powerful insight, practical tips, and heartfelt encouragement.

You may be wondering if you are failing at this parenting thing or if there might be something wrong with your son. After this episode, I think you will feel much better about your parenting and your amazing son.

David agrees with the assessment that there is a “boy crisis” happening, as this article suggests. Reach out to us on social media - do you agree? Are you seeing “disinterest” in your son’s world too?

My biggest takeaway is when David distinguishes between “hard” and “harmful.” I have daughters - but I needed to hear this encouragement. Too often, I help them escape hard things because I believe they are in harm’s way when they are not. Many times, my kids are pushing back against discomfort and you’ll hear how this is needed and actually good for them.

This is one of those episodes you need to listen to, file away, save, listen again, and then discuss with a friend. Do not lose hope! Jesus has you and your kiddos. I’m so thankful he brings us so many wonderful and biblical mentors like David Thomas to help guide us through these parenting challenges. Don’t miss the last part when David reminds us that we have an opportunity and many years left to equip, empower and encourage all the kids we love.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

• Christian Parenting
• Pardon The Mess
• Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

• Dr. Anthony Bradley article about boy crisis
• Daystar Counseling
• Raising Boys and Girls Instagram
• Raising Boys and Girls Podcast
• Raising Emotionally Strong Boys (for parents)
• Strong and Smart (guide for boys)
• Babbleland Breakout- Dead Sea Squirrels

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” —Jeremiah 1:5

In a world saturated by social media, it can feel like an uphill battle raising kids who are confident in who Jesus says they are, not in who the world professes they are. Our culture critiques us based on looks, talents, failures, and accomplishments. Thankfully, the Bible gives the real story of our identity, reminding us that we are:

• Adopted as a sons and daughters of Christ (Romans 8:15)
• Chosen by God to declare his praise (1 Peter 2:9)
• Created with a purpose that God prepared in advance (Ephesians 2:10)
• Citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20)
• Fully known and accepted by God (Psalm 139:1–4)

When our kids are marked by their true identity in Christ, they can live free from the exhausting cycle of trying to please others in order to gain approval. Only in the wake of this freedom can they chase after the person Jesus created them to be, not who our culture wants them to be.

Pray for our children to know that they are valuable, loved, seen, chosen, and good enough—not because of who they are, but because of whose they are.

Carefully, meticulously, intentionally—that’s how you created every single one of your children. You made no mistakes in the creation process, and you knitted us together in the direct image of yourself. Lord, remind [name] that you alone assign value and that their value is secure and unchanging.

God’s word speaks: Ephesians 2:10; Jeremiah 31:3; John 15:16; Romans 8:1

Do you feel like you’ve got more questions than answers these days?

Me too!

Which is why I’m thrilled that we have Sissy Goff and David Thomas on our podcast to walk us through ways we can support our kids emotionally during these tough days.

Sissy and David are on staff at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee, and have extensive experience counseling kids. They speak all over the country encouraging parents to raise their kids with intentionality, focusing on the most common struggles parents face in today’s fast-paced society.

One of the standout moments in our discussion was their advice that the best way we can help our kids work through their anxiety in these uncertain days is to manage our own. And then they give us some much-needed advice on how to practically do just that.

We also discuss the differences between fear, worry, and anxiety, and they help us recognize when our kids may be struggling and need extra support. Spoiler alert: there’s a lot of talk about being hopeful and patient parents—and I may or may not have felt like that was semi-directed at me. Ha!

Although this interview was scheduled months ago, the Lord clearly knew we would need a word from David and Sissy at exactly this time.

So let me encourage you to take a few minutes today to hear from two people who love the Lord and our kids. Be encouraged as they practically walk us through ways to best parent our kids in these days of uncertainty.

P.S. Want to hear and learn more from Sissy and David? Check out their podcast here and some of their book resources available now!

Well, excuse us for getting a little personal so early in 2020!

But life is messy, and we plan on staying true to our name and hitting some of the hard stuff in our January miniseries called “New Year, New You.”

Last week, we talked about improvements we can make in our physical health. This week, we’re discussing mental health.

If we haven’t stepped on your toes yet, there’s still time as we round out January tackling topics like our finances and marriage. Whoever said it’s rude to talk about politics and money at the table?

Well, we are at least staying away from politics. Kidding.

Today, Paige Mayhew and Rebecca Leonard join us to discuss our mental health. Both of these ladies are licensed professional counselors who just so happen to love Jesus too. Doesn’t get much better than that!

Here are some things we discussed in the podcast:

• Overcoming the stigmas of going to counseling
• How to know when it’s time to get help
• Anxiety and coping strategies
• Warning signs to look for in your kids

Take a minute and chat with us about mental health and consider where the Lord might be challenging you to work through some of the hard places facing you this year.

Get equipped to pray for your kids as we face a new year and the opportunity to pray God’s hand on their lives! Grow closer to God as a family this New Year with the Christian Parenting Prayer Journal!

If you want to listen to week 1 of the series "New Year, New You" check out last week's episode with Maria Bower!